She tries to put herself in a position of authority over the others, or at least me.

[Jamie31]

There is this girl that I work with...she works during the day and I work mostly during the evening, but a few days of the week I will work during the day. Well, the past few day shifts I have worked, she has really started to make me uncomfortable. She tries to put herself in a position of authority over the others, or at least me. And she isn't any higher up on the chain than I am. But it's like every time she "barks" an order at me and I don't do it immediately, she runs and tells our female manager that I am not doing my job - which is ridculous. I think her and our female manager have a little lesbian thing going for real - they are a little tooooo close. She just always acts like a real b*tch, and I am getting to where I dred working during the day because I know she'll be there. I just really can't stand her. I don't even know what started her acting like a b*tch to me, it just started within the past few day shifts. She's always making smartass comments and it pisses me off so bad.

 

Last night, I spoke to another manager and explained the situation to him. He said I wasn't the only one that had a problem with her. He said that he isn't going to let me quit because I am doing a great job. He said that he would try to get something done about it.

 

I hope me speaking to the manager will solve this problem, but if it doesn't what else should I do? What should I do next time I work with her and she starts that crap again??? It's hard to just walk away. I would like to say something to her personally, but I don't want to cause anymore friction than there already is. And God knows what she would run off and tell her "good buddy" of a manager.

 

Anyone have any suggestions for dealing with this kind of probelm??

[jalexy]

the only thing you can do is let the higher up take care of it. thats it. dont make a scene cause you could end up losing your job. i would hate to be in this situation cause it seems like the tables could get turned against you. good luck

[Tony T]

What has normally worked for me in these situations is this: When the next situation occurs where she tries to take authority over you, simply tell her you are doing your job properly and in a timely fashion. Then tell her if she hassles you one more time, the next person she'll be talking to is your attorney in court. Tell her kindly but firmly...and where nobody else can hear. That should do the trick. You have a right to do your job without bitches like this giving you a hard time and if she can't control herself, a court order could help a whole lot. (Of course, you know it would never come to that.)

[Jamie31]

Tony - that was good advice, thanks. But if I said that about the attorney, she would just laugh in my face, because I think she would know that it would neve come to that either.

 

I thought about saying something like this:

"Look, I am doing what I am supposed to do. You don't sign my paycheck, so until you do, you need to back off and worry about your own job and let me do mine."

 

More or less....

 

I mean, that isn't too harsh, yet it gets to point across. I just don't wanna look like the little scaredy-cat who don't know how to stand up for herself. Ya know?

 

Ugh...people bug me....

[quankanne]

kill her with kindness. If she's barking orders while you're in the midst of a project, tell her sweetly that you've got it next on your list. Be sweet sweet sweet, because that'll just make her a churlish b*tch by complaining about you. And keep a diary of incidents, be factual, not emotional; that way if push comes to shove, you can whip that puppy out as back-up.

 

quank

[jenny]

seconding quankanne! amen about both - you can only control the dignity of your behaviour. but seriously, document the hell out of everything - you should note every problematic conversation or problem, and keep all memos. here's another trick as well - as soon as you have documented them, (rationally and empirically, keep your emotions in a separate file)

 

send them by secure email, or by postal mail, to someone else. tell the someone else not to open the files, just keep them, or mail them to yourself. this can help you prove later that you did not manufacture evidence.

 

this sounds very paranoid, i know, but few workplaces run ethical ships. if nothing else, it is stress-relieving to objectively document the problems and can help you see a clearer solution. plus the discipline of it helps you feel a sense of control.

 

(one day i'm going to take all my job diaries and market them: the tedious adventures of a chocolate girl, research assistant, and rhetoric teacher. guaranteed to bore and annoy! i think i would buy them. and maybe my bf would too. maybe.)

[Tony T]

I personally wouldn't hesitate for a second hiring an attorney...to at least write a letter demanding she back off. Life is way too short to put up with people like this anyway. I won't do it under any circumstances. Every breath could be your last, ask John Ritter.

[moimeme]

I personally wouldn't hesitate for a second hiring an attorney...to at least write a letter demanding she back off

 

Tony, that gets expensive and only raises the stakes. It is notoriously difficult to prove harrassment at work and just that someone orders one about isn't even harrassment. I think Quank's solution is best. People will see the one employee bossing the other who doesn't respond in kind. The bigmouth/jerk/bossy person always ends up looking bad in these instances.

[HokeyReligions]

I agree with keeping a journal of the "incidents" note the day and time and try to write down exactly what was said. If you have any memo's or anything to support your stance - keep it with your journal or make a copy of it to keep.

 

Threats seldom work in routine work. Be nice and keep your cool. Talking to another manager was a good idea. You need to journal that too - who you talked to, when (date & time) and even where you were. If you stopped in a hall, or went into an office.

 

Is there a Human Resources department where you work? You should check out the HR policies -- there may be a written procedure for handling problems like this in the workplace, or they can give you some tips on how to handle the situation yourself before you make a formal complaint.

 

Have you asked this person what the problem is? Just tell her that apparently there is a problem between you two and you don't know what it is and would like to work it out with her. See what kind of response you get from her and if she says there is no problem and runs off to her manager friend - run the other way and document all of that too! Give her the opportunity to tell you what is wrong and if she comes up with something, ask her what she thinks is the best solution. If she just tells you that doing what she says is the solution, and you are, then you have some ammunition/support for action.

[Jamie31]

Well, just wanted to update those of you that helped me on this situation. I found out some stuff that might have something to do with why this co-worker is acting so bossy. I found out tonight that she has been seeing our General Manager on the side...which is TOTALLY against company policy. He has already been warned about seeing her before and is on probation right now for it. But they were caught together last night by his girlfriend. So I guess since she is sleeping with our gen. manager, she thinks she can get away with pushing others around. So I doubt me talking to the other manager will do any good. I will probably have to go to a higher level company manager if this continues.