Does she like me? What all should I do to try to talk to her, get to know her better?

[alaman19]

Here is my problem, this girl I know where I volunteer at is very pretty and I like her alot, and I'm not sure if she feels the same way towards me, whenever I see her she smiles at me and is fairly quiet, whenever I talk to her she seems to be smiling at me and she's looking right at me, every now and again she'll stand near me and everytime I say something to be funny she laughs at it, I've talked to her on the phone everynow and again but the conversation is usually about the volunteer work or school-related stuff, she's 20 and I'm 19 so there's no big age difference and we are both in college though we don't go to the same school, I only see her once a week maybe more but it's rare.

 

My basic question here is does she like me and what all should I do to try to talk to her and get to know her better before I take it any further, I want to take this slowly because I'm shy and not good at talking to girls at all.

 

I'd appreciate a response from anyone who feels they can help me.

[Rebecca4257]

Why don't you just ask her to dinner?

[VASH THE STAMPEDE]

I used to be the same way.shy and would finally get the guts when it was too late.so its probably best if you didnt wait.ask her if shes got a man,so u wont get into compiclations.then you should ask her if she wants to go to the movies or something .the moral is ,if you wait it might become to late.

[alaman19]

thanks for the advice, the basic problem is really this, I've only known her a few months and she's very nice but the main problem is I just have trouble communicating with her in person cause I'm shy...like for example the other day she called me on the phone and asked me what I was doing, I talked with her for about 20 minutes, she was talking about how she quit her job and everything and what her new one was and stuff about the volunteer group we're both involved with, all the while I can make jokes or witty comments and make her laugh, just yestarday I saw her and I was able to talk to her, I look at her in the eyes when I talk to her and alot of times when she talks to me or asks me a question she's smiling, and then after the meeting I was gonna talk to her more but her phone rang so I was only able to talk to her for maybe 2 minutes.

 

What if anything should I do to be able to carry on a better conversation with her, I guess she likes me because I was not expecting her to call at all that day and how she started the conversation by asking me what I was doing, I would ask her out but the problem is how!!, it sounds very simple but I'm just too damn shy I guess, half of me says go for it while the other half says I'm just wasting my time move on.

[subtitled]

have some confidence She obviously likes you so there's nothing for you to lose, is there?

 

Tell the evil side of your brain to shut up, and go for it! that's all you can do. there is no special solution to this problem, you just need someone to say DO IT!

[Rebecca4257]

Sounds like she is interested in you - she called you. Hey, take a risk!! If you don't ask - you'll never know and you may regret it later. JUST DO IT!!!

[alaman19]

thanks for all the responses, I'm eventually gonna make my move I'm just fishing to see if she shows interest in me, like tonight for example I was at my volunteer group meeting and we were all just standing around but, she was standing close to me but not touching me though and I stood there and talked to her and I look her in the eyes to show that I actually do have an interest in what she is saying and she looks right back at me in the eyes which I thought was interesting I figured she wouldn't look me straight in the eye but she did every time I talked to her tonight, I'm always able to make her laugh but I just don't know if she's really interested in me, when she had called me the other day it was just to talk about some of the volunteer stuff, I normally call her every week to remind her we have a meeting like I do everyone else, but with everyone else I'm on the phone with them for 4 or 5 mins. with her its usually 10 or 15 mins and we just end up talking about school and whatever and another example I'll give you: we wear gear belts similar to what the cops wear, well she just got her belt and uniform not too long ago, the stuff on mine is different like the holder I use for a flashlight is different than what she's got so out of the blue I'm just standing there and she came up and starts pulling open the holder of my flashlight and gets my light out trying to figure out how to use it..I think she knew how to turn it on but I had to show her, when I did she just laughed at her mistake as if she didn't know the switch was right there, but I thought it was interesting she was asking about the light like where I got it and how much it cost, but each time she looked me straight in the eye and I did too. I know this is probably nothing and I'm often finding myself thinking I'm just saying I'm gonna make a move but I'm probably just gonna chicken out in the end, anyone think they can help, fell free to respond to this.

[Curt]

You'll never know unless you ask her straight up!

 

Hey...be careful though...she may see you as a good "friend" only.

 

Jeesh...don't let that happen

 

Curt

[alaman19]

Thanks for all your advice you guys have given I appreciate but I still need help, First off No I haven't asked her out yet, I don't know why I haven't just either the rejection fear or the awkwardness that could happen after I ask if she turns me down..don't get me wrong I'm prepared to be turned down if it happens it happens but my main problem is this: Lately she's always been near me when we are doing are volunteer work stuff, like today both of us were at an event and I was assigned one area and her's wasn't to far from mine but I couldn't get the guts to go over and talk to her..I'm still kicking myself in the head for that one, but later she did stand near me when I switched to a differnent area she came over and stood near me for a while and we talked, she's been sick lately apparently she had to have surgery, I had called her last week to remind her we weren't meeting and she had mentioned it, well I told her I hope she felt better and she said "thank you" in this sort of girly type voice when normally she doesn't talk like that at all, but today when we were talking there were these moments of just silence and it's like there's a voice in my head saying ASK HER!! Damnit!! and she sort of seemed like she wanted to say something but she didn't, I just keep blowing it every chance I get, I really can't tell if she likes me more than just as a friend, I'll see her again this tuesday and possibly another day this week, is there anything I should do when I talk to her, do you guys think that she may already know that I like her which is why she's sort of silent, she always laughs when I say something funny and smiles alot and she stands real close to me maybe less than 12 inches, which is fairly close I guess. any replies to this I'll greatly accept along with a few kicks to my head for not approaching her yet are welcome if you feel they're warranted, I'm just too damn shy and I know if I don't act soon I can forget it.

[subtitled]

Originally posted by alaman19

I'm just too damn shy and I know if I don't act soon I can forget it.

 

so ask honestly, what is there to lose? if you just ask her if she wants to see a movie or something equally as innocuous, then there's no issue about it appearing like you're going way too fast... just ask her to do something really minor, that, if going well, could become something more - like the movies, or to the beach or something. If you don't sense it going well, you can just be her friend, otherwise ... wink wink... hehe

[VASH THE STAMPEDE]

Originally posted by subtitled

so ask honestly, what is there to lose? if

 

 

You should let the dice roll before someone else does.

[amerikajin]

There are no guarantees, but it sounds like she may be interested in you. After all, she did call you. In addition to that, though, a few other clues may help you out:

 

Does she smile? Apparently, yes. (good sign)

 

Does she ask about you and your life (i.e. what you do away from work)? If yes, another good sign.

 

Does she say maybe we should do something together sometime? If yes, a very, very good sign.

 

Does she ever touch you? Does she ever "accidentally" bump into you? Does she ever tap you on the arm or the shoulder or any body part for that matter? If yes, that may be the ultimate sign - especially if she does it more than once!!! A woman who feels comfortable enough to touch you without you actually initiating the contact is basically like a cat that just jumps in your lap.

 

But there are a couple of things you should be aware of here. One, don't let the opportunity pass. Two, don't spend a lot of time chatting idly with her if you're serious about her. I'm not saying avoid her, and if she talks to you of course you should at least oblige her a little bit. But the one thing you don't want to do is to let her know so much about you that she no longer shows any curiosity toward you. Don't get into 20 or 30 minute phone conversations with her where all you do is shoot the breeze. You're losing your appeal if you do that. Don't destroy the intrigue before you get started.

 

Your approach varies depending on how well you know her. Obviously if you already know her you don't say "I'd like to get to know you." But if you don't know her that well yet it might seem a little unnatural to just come out of the blue and say "Can I have your phone number?" After you have another banter session with her, you might want to just pop the question "Hey, let's have a cup of coffee sometime."

 

When you get the number, wait a week to call her. If she brings it up before the week passes, tell her "I'm sorry, I've just been busy, but trust me, I haven't forgotten." Wait a week, then call and set it up. Whatever you do, call, set it up, and get off the phone. No idle chit chat. Just a minute or two on the phone and say "Sorry, I've got to run but I'll see you next (whenever)." Don't call to remind her either. Just show up. If she forgets, she's not worth another one.

 

When you meet her out, keep the conversation light and throw in some wit if you can (it's great that she's already into your humor). Be positive. Don't talk about serious stuff or things that are mopey. Keep her entertained, basically. Give her the impression that you're fun to be with on a real date. If there's any touching, let her initiate it. Don't just hold hands with her or hug her or go for a kiss (at least not on the coffee date). No implying anything about a sexual relationship with her. Just keep it comfortable. Then, at the end of that coffee date, set up the real thing.

 

Same rules apply on the real date, except you can maybe get just ever so slightly deeper with her. And, at the END of the date, when you think you've shown her a good time, go for the kiss. You'll know right then what's up. If she rejects you, it's time to move on - period. If she's had a good time and enjoys your company, though, she won't reject you.

 

As for paying...ask the women on this forum. Should he pick up the coffee date AND the first date - if he's the one who's asking? Personally I'm inclined to offer for both, but if she says "No, I'll pay for my half" then I let her pay her half - don't want to look desperate or controlling. If you've paid for both the coffee date and the real date, I'd subtly tell her you two can go dutch next time. Don't want her getting comfortable with you being the sugar daddy.