Difficult Co-worker

[redfathom]

Sorry in advance for the long post!

 

I was friends with a woman at work, we used get along great. We took daily walks together, laughed, shared jokes, etc.

 

Then we were paired on a project to find a new alarm company for our office. The one we currently have was always messing up. We would get false alarm calls all the time, which meant my boss had to drive 30 minutes to the office (one-way) usually at the early hours of the morning (like 2 AM) to come make sure their was not a break in. They would call the wrong numbers when an incident happened, some of their equipment was faulty (which was why we got so many calls). I even tried getting our account executive to meet with us and he would make an appointment and not show up. I was having to triple check their work and they would still manage to mess up even when they would confirm 2-3 times that they had the write processes.

 

One morning my boss said I want you and X to work on finding some new alarm companies, we called three of the biggest nationwide companies, but my boss didn't like their terms. So he asked us to keep looking.

 

When I told X this, she asked me to come to her office so we could talk about it. She proceeded to say this: "I wanted to talk with you so you didn't feel like I was throwing you under the bus, but I want to tell our bosses that I think this alarm company is doing a great job." I said, "Oh, I won't feel that way, because none of this is my fault." To which she told me that she felt that I was mismanaging them and if I did a better job we wouldn't have all these mistakes. When I told her she could go to the bosses and tell them this she called me emotional. Her example of me being emotional was a one page complaint to the alarm companies HQ.

 

After that our relationship soured. She did go to my boss who told her that he could not disagree with her more and told her that if she wanted she could start to monitor them, so I gave the project of working with them to her. My boss told her to give them a test to see how they do, which they failed. Of course, she won't admit that they are wrong so now anytime they screw up (which has happened twice in the last three weeks), she says is all her fault. And both times it was .

 

I also manage our AC systems and maintenance. Yesterday she was sitting near me with her back to me asking this other guy at work a bunch of questions about the AC system, all of which he couldn't answer. I would interject into the conversation answering things for her. She was talking about getting a maintenance agreement with this new company, I have never worked with. Asking about locations of our AC's, which I have all the info on, to include serial numbers, dates installed, etc.

 

After they were done talking I asked them both to please keep me in the loop on what they are doing because I am the one that will have to manage it later. Later she comes by my desk and we start to talk about it again, I again asked her to keep me in the loop especially when making descisions. She responded by saying that she has to work on the project (to make the purchase), which I agreed, but I said overall there should only be one person managing the project, not multiple people.

 

To which she started to freak and called me "difficult", while I was at the front desk. Then a customer walked in and I had to help them so the conversation ended, which make her stomp off.

 

A few weeks ago she had my assistant over in a new suite we just got trying to fix a breaker that blew, I told them we had an electrician coming in that day to look at something else and to let him fix this too. She then with out saying a word stormed out of the office went and got one of our PC tech guys and brought him over to fix it.

 

About two months ago she got on this trip of coming to me and telling me that she would no longer do X, Y, and Z and that I needed to start doing it, all related to purchasing. She told me she felt it was my job and she has only being doing these tasks for the last year to "help me out". I found an e-mail from her old boss when she started outlining what her job was and sent it to her, which clarified my position on the subject. The whole time I told her I didn't mind helping but that I would not take over her job/tasks with out my boss delegating them to me. For weeks she kept doing this and then would complain to her boss until it escalated to a meeting between all of us and my boss basically getting mad because he felt we were being childish.

 

I am not sure how to handle her tiraid's. Next time she flips out I am tempted to call her bi-polar and suggest she get's some professional help. I do a great job at work and my bosses really like me. I don't want any drama and have to work closely with her, which is very difficult.

 

Any suggestions?!

 

P.S. I am not the only one who has problems with her, I talked to HR about this all a few months ago and they told me other people were complaining too.

[LovingLady]

I wouldn't deal with her directly under these circumstances. I'd listen to her and then tell her to please take it up with your boss. I don't think she's in a position of authority over you to tell you what you should and should not be doing. Your boss gets to do that. You could also tell her that you will address whatever she tells you with your supervisor and get back to her.

[Neutrino]

I have to agree with Lovinglady here. What an annoying colleague, next time she starts you can simply hold out a tampon and ask her if by any chance she needs it.... LOL (this is just a joke !)

 

Just ignore her - silent treatment, whatever you have to say - go over her head directly to her manager, with the reason X is too emotional to deal with this issue practically...