Sw3etdev1L Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Well, I am 24.. I ain't a virgin. I've had sex with three people in my life. I've gone out with more than 20 guys in my life. And everytime I go to the gym and I look at him, I just feel nervous, uneasy, overwhelmed, anxious, and my heart starts beating really fast. I do not consider myself as shy. Whenever I look at him, I can almost drool all over him really!. I mean, well...of course he doesn't notice because I make as if I don't really mind. and it is very lame on my part but, yesterday... we crossed glances and I really felt like wow. You know?..as if I were 17 again. I think he is like 21 yrs old..I don't know how old he is, I know nothing of him, his name or whatever.. and I don't have a clue of what to do to make him get near me and talk to me.. because everytime I look at him, I am so prejudicial like.. "he is too cute, he must be a womanizer...or, he mustn't want a girlfriend right now because he seems a lot of women put their eyes on him, he is very cute he is not gonna lay eyes on me"...and I believe that, makes me insecure eventhough I know every time I get into a room, I feel like men are attentive to me and they do like me and some might feel intimidated by my presence... it's just lame because, I know that!, I know I shouldn't have a problem, but I seriously do..I don't see myself as THAT, so I cannot know how he looks at me, and if he doesn't like me and I flirt a little with him...I might look absolutely ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 If you don't flirt, you'll never know.... Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 because everytime I look at him, I am so prejudicial like.. "he is too cute, he must be a womanizer...or, he mustn't want a girlfriend right now because he seems a lot of women put their eyes on him, he is very cute he is not gonna lay eyes on me ...and I believe that, makes me insecure " You're protecting yourself from the risk you perceive, and that's what's making you insecure. You're talking yourself out of any confidence you might have. This is your own brain, cutting you down, out of fear of how you will look. ...I know every time I get into a room, I feel like men are attentive to me and they do like me and some might feel intimidated by my presence... it's just lame because, I know that!, I know I shouldn't have a problem, but I seriously do..I don't see myself as THAT, so I cannot know how he looks at me, and if he doesn't like me and I flirt a little with him...I might look absolutely ridiculous. All I can say is, rewards usually come with risk, and if you aren't willing to accept the risk, you give up on the potential reward. The whole idea of flirting is that it is a somewhat graceful way for men and women to send out "feelers" without risking too much. You can get out early, if the other person doesn't show interest. Start gently - you need to start with eye contact, and if you catch his eye, make it a point to smile, and nod or give a simple "hi" or "hello" - somehow acknowledge that you made the connection. If you get to this point and you turn away immediately or give off the vibe that you're ignoring him, you are sending a message that you're closed off, and if he's a gentleman, he'll back off too. A smile and nod is a small, gentle, but clear way to offer a positive, oepn connection without risking too much. If he's at all interested, this should get some kind of reactin, and you can build from there. If, in fact, he's not interested, you should get that from whatever his reaction is, but it won't be like you're looking like a fool in front of everyone. C'mon - I would love an opportunity like this - try it out! (Incidentally: are you worried about looking "absolutely ridiculous" to him or in front of other people in the gym?) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sw3etdev1L Posted January 9, 2009 Author Share Posted January 9, 2009 hehehe maybe I am just fearing looking ridiculous in general. just, I might be afraid of rejection, it sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Watchdog895 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Just go for it! Ask him out. Flirt. Get to know eachother. Believe me, I'm a guy, and I'll tell you, it's hard for us to say 'No' and totally reject you. Besides, what have you got to lose? It's not like you have a reputation or anything. If he does say No, just see that as trying even harder at the next guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Jada Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm with the other guys, you've got to go out and have a go at it to see any results. Just figure out a way to make sure your around him and can have a conversation. Start by figuring out what machines he uses then then see if you are able to use the ones around him. My ex took a shot at meeting me by waiting for me after I finished work and striking up a conversation, I worked in a supermarket and didn't finish until 10 pm he purposely came in and waitied at the end of the checkouts so I would have had to have passed him and it paid off. Link to post Share on other sites
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