This is rediculious

[EmperorR]

I PURPOSELY date girls that live 45min-1hour away just so if we break up I don't have to see any of the stuff again or anything. (Usually).

 

.

 

Agree, but again I get cursed with bad luck my ex lives 1.5 hours away right across the street from my sister:(. Let's just say I'm scared as hell to visit my own sister, incase I see my ex with her new bf.

[not_a_happy_camper]

how long is everyone here broken up?

[sinkerswim]

i can't listen to valerie anymore.................well i can, but not without remembering him singing it to me. we had a long distance relationship, but we saw each other every weekend. i have red hair (NOT ginger!!!).....................but it was the attached sentiments that got me! "i miss your ginger hair and the way you like to dress, won't you come on over, stop making a fool out of meeeeeeeeeeeee". he said that was how he felt during the week because he just wanted to see me so much.

 

i hope he thinks of me now everytime he hears that song. same way i think of him. only that's a silly hope because i know he's moved on.

 

two months down the road..................i have no job, but i'm looking now. i've had way too much time to think. so much so that the bad things he did don't seem relevant anymore, even though i know they still happened obviously and how crap they made me feel. all i can think about is how good we were together before it went wrong. when i need to be thinking of how crap it was in the end.................or not thinking about it at all!

 

OMG Camper..

My boyfriend used to sing to me all the time.

We had a LDR for 2 years...and he would always sing "Babe" by Styx...

"Babe Im leaving..I must be on my way...

You know its You Babe...giving me the courage and the strength I need..."

 

*sigh*

We had our wedding songs picked out...he used to download love songs for me on my MP3 player that he bought me.

How am I ever gonna get through this??

[not_a_happy_camper]

guess what song just came on the radio..................

 

it used to make me feel so good. he's not crying over me.

[emotionalydistraugt]

My ex was a nurse. I dont know when I'll be able to see the doctor again. Whenever I see someone in scrubs I break down. Thats not even the worst of it. I was at the supermarket today and they had valentine's day stuff up and I realized she'll probably spend it with her new guy and I'll be alone but then I went to another isle to get away from all that **** and there was gum. For no reason other than she used to chew gum tears swelled in my eyes. Bad Bad Bad week this is for me. I'm at home she knows it and she doesnt want to see or talk to me. It's killing me

[Knight_Ctrl]

how long is everyone here broken up?

 

****......been like 2 1/2 months for me.....damn....

[Knight_Ctrl]

My ex was a nurse. I dont know when I'll be able to see the doctor again. Whenever I see someone in scrubs I break down. Thats not even the worst of it. I was at the supermarket today and they had valentine's day stuff up and I realized she'll probably spend it with her new guy and I'll be alone but then I went to another isle to get away from all that **** and there was gum. For no reason other than she used to chew gum tears swelled in my eyes. Bad Bad Bad week this is for me. I'm at home she knows it and she doesnt want to see or talk to me. It's killing me

 

dude, you just reminded me of valentines day..........I don't even know what I'm going to do then. If i see a single heart im probably going to flip out.

[not_a_happy_camper]

****......been like 2 1/2 months for me.....damn....

 

 

2 months for me knight. this was my first relationship. i know what u mean about trying to rush yourself to feel better. i don't know how long this is going to take. i just wish the bad feelings were gone. i know i wallow in it though which certainly doesn't help. it kills me that my ex is probably out having a great time without me, being jack the lad again. i wish i had the advantage of having made that decision if things weren't going to work out.

[blackrider27]

Well i used to sing to my girlfriend all the time, and i can't listen to those songs, so now my music taste is so vast now, and it's great.

 

 

Seriously, when you turn to music to make you feel better, don't listen to sad songs. LISTEN TO FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS AND STEPHEN LYNCH, it puts me in a good mood EVERY time

[amaysngrace]

Okay so the title says it all. You fellows...all of you fellows....are acting like a bunch of whiny emos.

 

You will all remain alone unless you can leave the pity party, individually and collectively.

 

Man up. Women like men. It's no wonder you got broke up with.

 

I'm not saying be an insensitive hard guy. Just balance the PMS a bit.

[DSM-IV Tom]

That's somewhat good advice Amaysngrace. Girls do like people who are strong.

 

But you're an idiot, straight up, to think that they don't have a right to be this way right now. Do you expect them to be heartless people with psychological disorders who can just move on with no obvious pain when they just lost someone they love? Don't make me try to diagnose you. My diagnoses are 90% of the time accurate.

 

Come on, wake up. Where's your IQ at?

 

They shouldn't be whining forever, no. But for right now, yes.

[amaysngrace]

Girls do like people who are strong.

 

But you're an idiot, straight up, to think that they don't have a right to be this way right now. Do you expect them to be heartless people with psychological disorders who can just move on with no obvious pain?

 

Come on, wake up. Where's your IQ at?

 

They shouldn't be whining forever, no. But for right now, yes.

 

You must be on the VIP list at the door of this pity party then. Sorry I hadn't realized.

 

Strong people like people who are strong. 'Nuff said.

[DSM-IV Tom]

Clearly you are disillusioned. There's a big difference between strength and disordered.

 

These people SHOULD be this way right now. Real men can admit their feelings when they're hurt. You're giving these people a misconception of what girls look for. You don't want to be with a girl who is so callous and lacks empathy, by expecting people to be emotionless in a time of loss and separation of love.

 

Google "Lack of Empathy Psychological Disorder".

 

Have fun. Do my work for me.

 

These people have every right to be sad right now.

[amaysngrace]

Clearly you are disillusioned. There's a big difference between strength and disordered.

 

These people SHOULD be this way right now. Real men can admit their feelings when they're hurt. You're giving these people a misconception of what girls look for. You don't want to be with a girl who is so callous and lacks empathy, by expecting people to be emotionless in a time of loss and separation of love.

 

Google "Lack of Empathy Psychological Disorder".

 

Have fun. Do my work for me.

 

These people have every right to be sad right now.

 

Excuse me?

 

You need this place for validation to be confident in yourself in your profession if that even is your profession. I think it is not. And you are a poser. But that's my opinion.

 

Because if you are not a poser than you are stupid for giving out your diagnoses for free when you could get paid for your service to pay off the med school bills. So I give you the benefit of the doubt to call you a poser rather than stupid.

 

I'm empathetic like that.

[DSM-IV Tom]

Do yourself a favor and ask these individuals if I've helped them or not.

 

You're the one seeking validation (Or personal justification) by putting down people who are genuinely hurt; you want to make people feel bad so you feel good. Cruelty.

 

Were you this vindictive, hypocritical, negative and disillusioned before or after you were broken up with, Amaysn? You have no grace about you, I don't understand why that is in your name. Have you ever been told negativity follows you? Or drama?

 

I'm guessing yes.

[amaysngrace]

I'm guessing.

 

Well that's your first mistake.

 

I think you do more harm than good with your phony cyber diagnoses of others and you'd do yourself some good if you'd first help yourself.

 

Like your dear Dr. Phil says "you can't give away what you don't have".

 

And if you don't have a clue you can't give a clue. What's worse is you lack the experience you profess to have and that can be downright irresponsible and dangerous.

[DSM-IV Tom]

Actually that's far from the case, to be honest. It seems to be you who is guessing at this point. How ironic.

 

 

 

But we can go back and forth like this all day. You can put me down all you want, but I’m only analyzing you in return. You will not win this argument because you’re not fighting against me, you’re fighting against yourself.

 

Rest assured, you have no frame of reference for this type of confrontation. You are only being studied. I can help you though if you wish to change for the better. I hold no malice towards you. The things I’ve said were said for only 2 reasons:

 

1). To defend these people who you call "emo" and other hurtful things. (Seriously, do you think that's graceful?)

 

2). And To study your reactions, based on the perception of what type of person I assume you to be based upon your method of talking and acting. My words were chosen carefully. (They were true, though).

 

Whenever you want help, just ask.

[amaysngrace]

Whenever you want help, just ask.

 

Here's an idea.

 

Why don't you PM me your private office number and I'll make an appointment with your receptionist.

[DSM-IV Tom]

You can call me directly.

 

I don't think you're insane or anything, don't get me wrong. I like you for the most part, I think you're a good poster and you have helped. I hold no anger or malice against you, and would've rather this discussion never occurred.

 

I only got into this because you called people genuinely in pain, emo. Don't get me wrong, there ARE people who deserve to be called that... but people who have only been single for 2 months or so after being in a loving relationship, don't deserve to be called emo for expressing their pain, do you agree?

 

Forgive me if I've offended you. I said what I said for very specific reasons.

[amaysngrace]

You can call me directly.

 

I don't think you're insane or anything, don't get me wrong. I like you for the most part, I think you're a good poster and you have helped. I hold no anger or malice against you, and would've rather this discussion never occurred.

 

I only got into this because you called people genuinely in pain, emo. Don't get me wrong, there ARE people who deserve to be called that... but people who have only been single for 2 months or so after being in a loving relationship, don't deserve to be called emo for expressing their pain, do you agree?

 

Forgive me if I've offended you. I said what I said for very specific reasons.

 

That's okay. I'm not apologizing for anything I've said though. Because I have every reason to say what I've said.

 

Yes it's okay to feel badly about a broken relationship but this isn't helping them. A simple "I understand what you're feeling" and then help on how to get through it is a lot more beneficial to those in need of help IMO.

 

It takes more than merely justifying the feelings they are experiencing. If you sincerely want to help it can't stop there. It should go beyond that into finding a path to healing.

 

I don't harbour any ill feelings towards you either, it's just that sometimes when you throw out your labels onto people it does leave me somewhat ill, to be honest. Because I do find it to be irresponsible and even dangerous.

[DSM-IV Tom]

That's fine. I accept your point of view, and have no right to say you're necessarily wrong. My methods of helping are not for everyone, but they are precise and accurate for the majority of the time I do them.

 

We can only agree to disagree, and continue helping people at this point.

[nick70]

The Untouchables was on TV last night - my ex's favourite film and we only spoke about it on Sunday. I share your pain..

[amaysngrace]

We can only agree to disagree

 

Agreed.

[Geishawhelk]

Isn't this cosy?

I should be jealous, but I don't do "issues".....!

 

Pain triggers are everywhere we look. We can see them sometimes, even in the places which previously held no relevance, simply because for some reason it twangs our heart-strings.

 

Occasionally, we voluntarily inflict pain upon ourselves - almost deliberately (it's known as self-sabotage) because it keeps us close to the source of our pain - which although uncomfortable, is at least, the perpetuation of the connection.

 

This block, or hinders our progress.

 

The thing to do, at that moment, is to say to yourself:

 

"So what - ?! Big deal! Bring it on!"

 

If you challenge and stand up to a bully, it loses power.

 

The Bully in question is - wait for it - your Ego.

Your Ego finds it impossible to believe that someone could have taken such a perfect thing as your presence and love, and shat all over it.

 

It hurts.

It hurts, big time.

in fact, it mega-hurts, big time.

But your pride is dented.

 

Now, I don't mean to under-value anybody's Ego, but whilst we think that it's supposed to be our friend, it sometimes dominates our psyche to the extent that actually, with friends like this - who beeds enemies.....?

 

But really, ask why it hurts.

Why does this hurt?

 

(Answer the Question.)

 

Then see the question, and probe again.

Yes, but why.....?

 

And look at the next answer.

And again, ask....Yes, but why?

 

Finally, you get to the point where you can go no further.

And the 'final' answer is usually so removed from the initial question, you'll surprise yourself.

 

Try it.

I dare you.

Your Ego won't want you to.

Your Pride can't handle more denting, surely?

Oh yes, trust me it can.

because Pride that is brought to task, an Ego that is poked in the chest - will give you back who you really are.