Sostressed Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Hello everyone Im currently in a LDR. We have been together for almost 6 months now. Everything has been going good until the last month now. We use to text eachother throughout the day and the last couple of weeks I hardly hear from her. For example today, I sent her a text around noon and its 7pm and I havent heard anything. Im so stressed out ive had a headache for days now. I ask her if everything is alright and she says shes good and all that. It just seems different and I dont know what to do. Do i just need to relax? When we do talk its real brief and doesnt seem like im in a relationship. I hate asking her all the time if everything is alright, what should I do please help. If any woman are reading this, what do you think? Thanks so much. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Let her know that you're thinking about her, then set her free. If she comes back, it was meant to be. Watch out for yo-yo though... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sostressed Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 I thought about that, but I really love this girl. I dont want to set her free but seems i might have to. I bought her a promise ring for xmas and we use to talk about marriage alot now it never comes up. What do you mean yo-yo? Link to post Share on other sites
LovingLady Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I agree with the poster above. Tell her how you feel. Is it possible she's just getting back into the swing of things, now that the holidays are officially over? The holidays are a time of great stress and general "busy"ness. Link to post Share on other sites
thegoodlife Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Just let her know that you've been a little concerned and that if she needs to talk about anything you're always there and open to listen. And leave it at that. Otherwise just believe when she says everything is okay, I know it can be hard but I'm sure this will soon pass and all will be back to normal, and if there is anything wrong she knows she can come to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sostressed Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 thanks for your replys. I hope you guys are right, I guess Ill just wait it out and see what happens...it hurts alot though not hearing from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 She could have gotten a bit freaked out when you gave her the promise ring. Talking about marriage -- as if dreaming about it -- is one thing. Having reality right there in front of you is a different story sometimes. You have been together for 6 months. Slow down and if I were you I would absolutely stop asking if everything is alright. That can get bothersome. Needy and desperate are never attractive qualities. If you find conversations are short, you may try having topics ready so you can engage her more into a conversation. Try to get other things going in your life so you can stay busy. You should do that regardless of what happens in the relationship. It just creates a healthier you. It seems as if you are a bit lost. This relationship, at least in the state that it is in right now, is causing you to forget who you are. I am sure you aren't acting the way you did when you first met her and THAT is who she was drawn to. Figure out how you can bring that confident charming guy back and it will really help. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 She could have gotten a bit freaked out when you gave her the promise ring. Talking about marriage -- as if dreaming about it -- is one thing. Having reality right there in front of you is a different story sometimes. You have been together for 6 months. Slow down and if I were you I would absolutely stop asking if everything is alright. That can get bothersome. Needy and desperate are never attractive qualities. If you find conversations are short, you may try having topics ready so you can engage her more into a conversation. Try to get other things going in your life so you can stay busy. You should do that regardless of what happens in the relationship. It just creates a healthier you. It seems as if you are a bit lost. This relationship, at least in the state that it is in right now, is causing you to forget who you are. I am sure you aren't acting the way you did when you first met her and THAT is who she was drawn to. Figure out how you can bring that confident charming guy back and it will really help. I agree with the Island girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Frankasy Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Just tell her how you exactly feel, believe me even if she's the most cold hearted person in the world, you will realize from her voice(If you decide to tell her by phone) or by her face expression(If you tell her in person) that she can't say anything to object you. But in the meanwhile just chill, tell her this as soon as possible on the phone if you aren't meeting her anytime soon, if you're seeing her in a month/couple of weeks, save your strength for than. If you smoke I suggest you do it even more, if you don't start now, I know it's a bad habit but it helps you relax, I know it did with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sostressed Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 Thanks again guys, you really know what your talking about. Im new to the long distance relationship and I never knew it would be like this, thought it would be ez haha. But anyway, I talked to her a little while ago on the phone all is good. I NEED TO RELAX. At he end of the month we will be living together, and my nerves are on edge. But island girl, your right. I drifted off to be another person, I will be ok. I just cant wait for the distance to be over with. I didnt hear from her yesterday b/c she was at the hospital all day her grandmother got admitted and a ambulance took her in. I NEED TO RELAX AND CHILL. smoking is not my thing though haha. maybe i should start... Link to post Share on other sites
Mag-Lone-Freak Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 yes relax and be cool...sometimes freaking out can make you act wrong and say the wrong thing ruining it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sostressed Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Ok everything has changed, it got so much worse. After my last post on here like 3-4 days went by where everynight i asked her to call me and she said she would but she didnt call. Then she was suppose to call me the other night and I knew it was just gonna be another night where i wont hear anything and i lost my head. I sent her a text saying I couldnt do this anymore and I was done. Now let me explain when i texted this to her. I was very frustrated and upset my emotions were going like crazy. I couldnt get a chance to talk to her about what I was going through. A few days went by and we hardly have texted eachother but it gave me a chance to think about everything. I definetly shouldnt have reacted like this. No matter what, I should have at least said I was upset and talked about it even if it was through texting. We were in a relationship and that was not the way to handle this. But I was so upset I cant even explain it now. Just felt empty and unwanted. Now a few more days have gone by and we have been just texting now. She told me how shes feels and exactly what I said about not talking about that before. She said if you needed a break we could of done that. I have apologized about this to her and explained what happened when I did that. I didnt mean to do this, but it did happen. She says she still doesnt know what to think and will need some time. She said if I did this to her I would be handling it the same way, and shes right. I know I just really messed up and we can work through this. She told me she feels like a terrible person bc she didnt call but she has to understand the a LDR is all communication and where I was coming from right? I told her I want another chance but shes thinking about everything. I just dont understand why she wouldnt call me though especially saying she would. Are we on different levels of this relationship? Then the other day she said her friend, not giving any names and i know her friends, drove her to work bc of the weather he has a truck. So obviously she was texting me at work and he was also giving her a ride from work. I didnt hear anything from her the rest of the night. Next day she says Hey I didnt make it home last night and i didnt have my charger because the weather was so bad. So she stayed at whoever the friend is house. So I had to ask about this and she said she would tell me if something was going on and she respects me more than that and wouldnt lie. also in the msg she ask would i rather her get into a accident? making me feel guilty that i asked, but damn that is rough to read from the girl you love and care about. I dont know what to think about that whole situation but if something was going on she wouldnt tell me that she didnt make it home. all this makes me wonder is this why she wasnt calling? just trying to do this to me to drive me away to start something new? so many questions about everything. So thats where im at, a disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
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