super_sillygirl Posted September 21, 2003 Share Posted September 21, 2003 I am in love with a married man, and he is my first man. So, emotionally I could not leave him now. We've been together for one year. I tried not to contact him few weeks ago, but he sent me email, and said he missed me, and if i did not want to see him anymore, then let him know. But before that, he told me many times he would not leave his wife for me although he did not have any children with his wife now. Should I take the chance to say goodbye to him. It is really difficult to say goodbye while I still miss him very much. Or should I keep him and see other men at the same time? I don't think he would mind about that at all. Finally, I would like to know if a person can love someone who he/she does not trust? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 21, 2003 Share Posted September 21, 2003 You have nothing to gain by remaining with this man. Bid him farewell. There shouldn't be all that much pain since you knew he was married and you had to know it wasn't going anywhere. Since this is your first time being in love, you must learn that you have to be tough in these matters because just because you fall for somebody doesn't mean it's going to work out...doesn't even mean they're going to fall for you. You also have to understand that falling in love is only a very preliminary step to what may or may not be a successful relationship. It takes a hell of a lot more than love to make a relationship with two people. If you don't have a whole lot in common, mutual respect, similar goals, expectations....and if BOTH of you aren't single and available to each other...it can go down the shoot real quick. Why would you want to remain seeing a guy and invest even more emotion in a situation that is never even going to get out of the starting gate? Any why would you want to see a man you ALREADY KNOW has the inclination to be disloyal??? As for your second question, sure you can love somebody you don't trust. You do now! This guy is no more trustworthy than a terrorist posing as a pilot in a 747. Do yourself a major favor...be strong. Frankly, I don't even think you could possibly love this guy if you're even of average intelligence. You're probably addicted to the feelings you get when you are around him. You're addicted to the chemicals that flow through your brain....not in love with him. There are just so so so so so so so so so so so so many other men you can fall for. For cripes sake, get away from this guy before you cause more problems for yourself than you knew ever existed and get over it. Then fine REAL love with a REAL decent person who is loyal and true. Good luck and I'm terribly sorry you made the decision to fall in love with a married man on your very first go-round. But, luckily you've got time to cut your losses shot. And, by the way, if he's a real jerk he may tell you many many lies to keep you in his life...like he's going to leave his wife for you and all that BS. Don't fall for it. It's just standard operating procedure for married men who want to get strange on the side. You are being used, babe! Link to post Share on other sites
timdale Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 Tried walking away? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 I hope someone posts a link to a long discussion thread about dating a married man. Or look under the Other Man category here and read some old posts about this. It doesn't matter if he has kids. Have you given ANY consideration to what his wife might feel or how she will be affected? If he doesn't care if you date other men, does that mean you also don't care if he has multiple affairs? If he isn't now, he will. Yes, it is not only possible to love someone and not trust them, but it happens all the time. Cheating is wrong. There is no justification or excuse to do it or to continue it. End the relationship and find a single guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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