an officer and a gentleman

[mandakay109]

My story goes something like this:

 

I met the man of my dreams almost 2 1/2 years ago. We clicked just like a lot of beginning relationships. This one was different, we saw eye to eye, we finished each others sentences, there wasnt anything i didnt eventually know or find out about my boyfriend.

 

he was the first to tell me he loved me, almost on the verge of being slightly obsessed with me which is ok, he worshiped the ground i walked on. He then asked my father for my hand in marriage..

 

shortly after, our family and friends starting getting too much involved and before we knew it, the fighting started, i would pick fights and arguments, the things he did all of a sudden didnt make sense to me, i felt i ever got my way, he would be mad at me for not ''being supportive''..

 

we knew we still loved each other very much but he was holding off the proposal until we could better things in our relationship..the stress started, finishing up college, moving, looking for a job..it was all so hard on our relationship..

 

he was a soon to be officer in the usaf which he would be going out of state for training for 6 whole weeks.. Luckily, he already knew where he would be stationed at for two yrs after training and even better, i found an amazing career in the same city where he would be stationed..

 

things would get amazing for a while and thenwe would have our little fights again.

 

well for 6 weeks, i decided, we both decided, that this relationship was working out and we both loved each other more than anything, i told him i wanted to marry him but not at the time just because i still wanted to wait just a bit longer even though he wanted to..

 

the last day of his training, he was coming back to texas from alabama and kept calling me but i didnt have my phone, finally when i got to talk to him, he said his comander out of nowhere decided that he had to be stationed in new mexico for two yrs instead of texas and that he had to report in that monday.

 

i was devestated..however, i knew i wanted to be with him and i would support him and take it day by day, i helped him move everything into his truck and trailer that saturday and cried my eyes out because i already missed him..one week later, he drove back to texas to see me, he broke things off and cried like a baby while doing it..he said he felt it was the right thing..

 

we have talked very little and its been 3 weeks already, i still feel more horrible now then i did yesterday, he said he still misses me and is going to really have to think about things and whatever decision he makes i will have to be ok with it..

 

what do you guys out there think about this whole deal??

please let me know

[Geishawhelk]

...."Whatever decisions he makes you will have to be ok with it".....?

 

What, you don't have a say?

 

What about any decidion you might want to make?

 

Should it not be a decision you come to, through discussion, together?

 

Hmmmm....it looks to me as if soldier boy is a bit controlling....

[BobrigoSanchez]

First of all, there are too many details we are not getting, nor we need. Because, this seems like your run-of-the-mill break-up. What you have on your hands isn't really something we can help you with, that's for sure. So you need to realize that when someone breaks up with you, there is nothing that you can say to change their minds. However, your actions will change theirs. By moving on and not contacting them or rationalizing with them, you will definitely see them make contact with you. But, by the time they do this, you would've analyzed all the things that were wrong in the relationship.

 

You sound like you weren't 100% sure about where you stood in that relationship either. He probably felt this. The fighting + moving on to another state and big career will definitely cause him to reevaluate his situation. Joining the AF as an officer is a BIG personal growth move. When we feel like we're going places, we don't want hinderances tying us down. Like I said, not enough details to eveluate how bad things got between you two, but he's in the perfect position to say goodbye to the relationship, while you wallow in the memories of you two, in your old town. Look up info on how you can best move on from this, and learn from this.