in search of...

[Sw3etdev1L]

I was in search of something really great. I had this dreams like four years ago...

tall man, green eyes...good person. Who would love me.

well, I've gonna out with so many boys now, I am starting to become tired of it. I feel lonely.

I do like someone in the gym, I am kind of going out with someone too...

I used to like a boy who just rejected me, and I really felt there was a spark so, I am stopping to believe in that special spark.

I think I am so disappointed..

sometimes I want a date, a man, I want someone cool, and easy going , handsome..just to have a nice period of peace in my life, and maybe lots of sex with someone who will care about me but we will both know, it's just a fling...

and sometimes I just want to feel appreciated, and have someone serious, and stop my worrying.

My mom is now going through chemotherapy, I am studying in college, though I'm 24 just turned out 24 in december.

I don't even know what I want.

so, what should I search for!

I was the most spiritual girl ever!. I mean, I really did think the connection was everything, and afterwards...going out through a while, then, having sex would be the best. I got sick I had a nervous breakdown which I cannot believe I had because I always felt I was this very happy person...

I just had these expectations, and illusions and dreams...

I got into med school just because I was sick..and I wanted to help someone too!..

I blocked so much about my life during some time, and the way I was..i stopped liking to feel I was strong because I am not, I am sensitive.

I met this guy who I really don't like, who is great in bed and who I have a blast with, but I don't want to go out with him just because I feel needy.

I want the real deal.

but somehow sometimes, I just believe..love doesn't exist that way.. the illusory type.

now I am depressed, I am so sorry but....I am starting to feel a little, tired, fatigued of searching and a little numb too.

Stopped believing in destiny.

I just, somehow lost my inspiration.

I don't know what to do...

I want a spark with someone you know, who truly loves you and cares for you and is there for you but it just seems that...being 24 is the worst age too look after something like that.

I just hate it. I feel most boys are players, they are very selfish, and I have a very strong character, even if I have sex with someone..I mean, If I don't like him or whatever, and I just felt it was for the sex...I am a woman, and if they call me back I usually think "oh, it's the sex part, he doesn't want to get to know me...so"....I just feel like rejecting them..I don't want people to hurt me anymore.

I am a little afraid, of that because I've been quite hurt before.

[Geishawhelk]

I'm not really sure what it is you're asking us......

[Reggie]

I'd stay away from having sex with people that you are not connected with, emotionally. The chemicals released are confusing and it will devalue it when you meet someone that you connect with.

As for finding love, as an old guy that has been burned a lot, I would tell you to simply stop actively searching and live your life. Do the things you enjoy and that have meaning for you. And, keep your eyes and ears open to the guys you meet. Don't rely strictly on the physical attraction, nice butt etc, although that has to play a part, at some point. Be open to being friends first. See if a guy is someone with good values and who shows empathy and kindness, as well as integrity. Be patient.