MichiganMan222 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Something petty happening here with the ex, but it could spiral out of control and I'm trying to keep a clear head about it. In Sept 08, my ex and I finally ended a 2 year relationship after a lot of hostility going on since summer. I suspected she was cheating with a person she claimed to the end was just friends. Days after we officially ended, she and her were together as a romantic couple. Two and a half months later (couple weeks ago), she is engaged to be married. OK, I go complete NC successfully since the break up. I'm feeling pretty good. I have no brokenhearted feelings, but rather anger over being cheated on. I am completely removing an remnants of her out of my life. Last night, I see she is friend-requesting Facebook my real-life friends that I introduced her to while we were together. They all liked her. One has accepted her already. I emailed that friend and asked her to remove her out of respect for the situation. She said she didn't want to be caught in the middle. Now...I can see where this is going. My other friends will likely accept as well her probably to be nice and stay neutral. Too be honest, I don't want to make a big deal about this. It seems petty but now her name will be flashing all over my page. It seems to do that with 'friends of friends'. Its more about continued NC. Plus, its FACEBOOK, not real life. I'm NOT going to boycott my friends for something like this. So should I not make a big deal about this? Would you? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Much as we might hurt, we can't dictate - or even request - people behave or act in a specific and particular way, simply because it hurts our feelings. If personal emotional injury is done to others, then they react accordingly. But a break-up is a break-up to them. Sad, but true. It happens. So your friend was quite right to say she doesn't want to get caught in the middle. My partner was arrested on false charges laid on him by his ex-wife. he was charged with domestic violence and use of excessive force. Charges that were both completely dropped and erased off official records, becaus she admitted they'd been total fabrication, and whilst he was being held in a cell, she cleared out the house, with the help of the man she'd been having an affair with for a year. He was also charged with sexually assaulting his then step-daughter (his ex's by a different husband!) again, a charge that was subsequently dropped and erased, for lack of any evidence. In the pub a few days later, the daughter sat next to him, and drunkenly raised her t-shirt and exposed her breasts, claiming that my partner would never do anything like that, anyway. It was all her mum's doing.... He is now on excellent terms with the both of them, and speaks to them regularly. (his son lives with her, hence the contact.) But as he's studying Law, she has also taken his advice on a couple of legal matters, he's happily helped her out with. You can get over this, you know. But you have to do it on your own. And let people live as they wish to. Link to post Share on other sites
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