627 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 19 year old male here, never been in a relationship before:eek: some background: basicly my school years from 12 to 18 can be summed up as follows: nerd with big eyebrows and glasses and messed up teeth so you know at school it is hard to get by if you don't look good. before I moved to the university at 18 I fixed all that, I wore barces from 14 till 18, I fixed my eyebrows lost the glasses and I was glad that at universities, there are no blue uniforms anyway I entered the university and I'm practicly a noob, I live in constant fear of rejection. I don't exactly panic when I meet a girl, but I tend to take stuff slow so far that only got me loads of "just friends" type of girls. so I want to know what exactly should I fix, I dress up well, I look confident and I am confident, I listen well, I take interest in what is being said, I always help out when I can even if not directly asked, I try to ask the girl I like out whenever it is possible(I don't have a car, and usualy neither do they, so options here are a bit restricted) I just don't make any physical move until I feel that it is safe(maybe by the way she looks at me or smiles or something) so far I never get any of these. and I can see the difference between a girl looks at me and the way she looks at possibly another guy she likes, I can see it in her face way before she speaks it"we're just good friends" sorry I talked too much my latest story is this, I met a girl in september that I really really liked( we met in a group, we both happened to have mutual internet friends and we decided all to meet, I had not spoken to her before then) anyway the first time we met, I was a bit shy, I was sitting on a table with like 15 people I never met before in my life, and it would have been awkward to single her out and try to talk to her, and it seemed I was not the only one who liked her. first meeting it was really hard to say if she liked me or not, she took interest in whatever the hell I said and kept sitting close to me, but then again I was the new guy in the group. second meeting it was obvious that to her I was nothing too special, and I saw it again the "friendship gazes" when she just looks at me and her eyes say nothing too special. yesterday we were talking and I asked her if I could put a pic of me and her in my display pic on MSN and she was like"sure but don't go falling in love with me" so that was like crossing out any chance of anything more than friendship, but as I said, it seemed obvious. and I think she suspected that I liked her so I have like 4 or 5 girls like that so far, they initiate conversations with me most of the times on the net or in person(I tend to give people space, what if I am boring them? so I don't always take friends for granted) they even walk up to me to shake hands and kiss in person, and they know they can tell me anything, and I do get alot of boyfriend problems from them which is weird, I want to be her boyfriend and she asks me for advice in nailing some guy and why am I never looked at as a potential boyfriend? help Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 You need to start FLIRTING. In order for women to see you as more than a friend, you have to behave like a MAN around them, rather than a friend. FLIRT. Lots of eye contact, teasing, a few compliments. And then you must ASK women out on DATES. Don't just try to become a friend and hope for more. When you meet an girl who interests you, ASK her out on a date. If you don't, they'll assume you're not interested, especially if you don't flirt with her and treat her like a pretty girl. Google 'how to flirt' and you'll find some good tips about body language and behaviors. With all these friend-girls, ask them to introduce you to one of their friends that you'd like to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 627 Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 k but like I said, dating options are limited no car anyway thanks for the tips Link to post Share on other sites
Frankasy Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Dude, you're still at the start line, how are you gonna get to the finish line if you don't start? Big deal if you get rejected, it's not the end of the world, there are plenty of more girls out there waiting for you. Look the good thing is that you don't get nervous. Just go and talk to a girl that you like, practice your skills even if she's out of your league. Just be yourself. Believe me you'll win more points if you're yourself, honest and calm instead of being someone else. Just go there, have a nice chat with any girl, you'll realize if she wants to hang out with you by looking at different details but anyways that's something else. Like I was saying, go and have a friendly chat with any girl, tell her you had a good time and you'd want to do that again sometime, if she agrees it means that she wants to see you again. Afterwords one thing will lead to another... Big deal if you don't have a car, it's not like that's a major factor in getting chicks. By the way just don't mention to the girl you'll talk to that you were a nerd, had braces, never been in a relationship etc cause you'll look like you're totally inexperienced and you don't have a clue in dating but in fact you do. So at first be reserved, let them do most of the talking, just approve most of their words, act like you have a lot in common. Once you get to know her better, what type of person she is and if you can trust her and go on dates with her, tell her your past but slowly, not all at once. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 627 Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 yes but it will be awkward if I get rejected, since most of these girls I meet are usualy university friends. and it will be annoying seing her everyday and saying hi to her after I "tried and failed" anyway what the heck, we only get one life, I'm not spending my retirement years feeling sorry for never doing anything Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Watch the movie Big Fat Greek Wedding... Link to post Share on other sites
Frankasy Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 yes but it will be awkward if I get rejected, since most of these girls I meet are usualy university friends. and it will be annoying seing her everyday and saying hi to her after I "tried and failed" anyway what the heck, we only get one life, I'm not spending my retirement years feeling sorry for never doing anything Lol, if you get rejected, in comes the No Contact rule. Big deal if you see them every day, just ignore them and they'll ignore you like nothing's happened. It's really not that hard. Link to post Share on other sites
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