JaydaLeah Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Well im sure many out there have met up with their SO over last xmas and new yr.... I thank God, i had a fabulous 2 weeks with mine and it is a heartbreaker to say bye once again and have to wait for 3 more months till the next meet. During this 2 weeks, i realise that being in a LDR and a R encompass different things altogether. During these 2 weeks, we were like couples together and there was friction such as i nagged him at his sloppiness, him nagging at me coz' i am lazy and such. Halfway through, i felt scared of marraige and being together coz in a LDR, u are compromisng and you tolarate. But when you see each other everyday, its a whole lot of game altogether. You pick at one another's nitty shortcomings, you quarral about the toothpaste, and like any marraiges, it can come to a dry spell where you feel like you have no feelings for the other anymore... Half of me wish that we can lead a normal R so that we can go through the reality of seeign each other everyday and journey through these senseless rubbish to be sure that we can be with each other for life. We are so in love now, so determined to be with each other and marry each other after 2 yrs when his moving back. But that is because we want to beat the distance. After 2 yrs, after we finally marry, will the spark and love just... die off? Just like most marraiges? He loves me so much now that im sure he wont cheat on me (not all that sure, but there's a level of trust) But people change, so does feelings. The love between us is so strong, the thought of it ever dying makes me cringe. Anyone there been through it all and able to share experiences? Or any thoughts? Ie been thinking alot about it... Link to post Share on other sites
Gaikokujin360 Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Okay well this is just me being a normal teen and all that but I have had a taste of a long distance relationship. If its really strong it will last, the thought of you feeling anything for his death means that there is something there. Love is about meeting the person half way, it seems that you two are able to accomplish that. If you trust him then keep that trust, a relationship without trust is truly never anything at all, Love is a breathing, feeling, human thing... it needs to be cared for and given attention to, remember that. The one thing I seem to notice a lot is that once people get married they don't really care to keep that "flame" going. After all they are married right? Link to post Share on other sites
celebray69 Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I think that is so awesome that you guys got to spend xmas together!! I don't think anyone ever knows if the one they chose to be with is the right one. Relationships are a lot of work and require tons of communcation, understanding and compromise. Make that relationship long distance and it requires a lot more work. You can never know if you will lose the spark once you are together longterm/short distance. That depends on both of you. People definitely can change, feelings can change but you don't have control over that so there's no point in being worried (I should really take my own advice sometimes!) If you believe in your love then I think it's worth it to give it a shot. Three months is not that long and before you know it you will be together again. I haven't seen my SO in almost 6 months and we still don't know when we will see each other again. But we are still very much in love. Where there's a will, there's a way Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Half of me wish that we can lead a normal R so that we can go through the reality of seeign each other everyday and journey through these senseless rubbish to be sure that we can be with each other for life. We are so in love now, so determined to be with each other and marry each other after 2 yrs when his moving back. But that is because we want to beat the distance. After 2 yrs, after we finally marry, will the spark and love just... die off? Just like most marraiges? Well, we started off together. The normal dating story and living together. Then we went LD. And now we are starting year 7 of being apart. We did get married 2 1/2 years ago and immigration is supposed to have his interview (FINALLY) this month. He should be here soon after. And that is the question everyone has. What happens when he is back here? What happens if it doesn't work out? I think there is a big difference in our commitment to each other. We both have been through hell - refusing to let go or allow mistakes to be made. We both understand each other much more than most of the couples we know who have always had the traditional relationship. Those couples have not had to work as hard at communication. We have had to get extremely honest and real without any fluff because of the time and expense it takes to talk. And we both KNOW - I mean know without a shadow of doubt - that there is no such thing as splitting up. Ever. If a problem arises we have to work it out. We have years of practice and we would not have proceeded with marriage if there was any question on either side as to the meaning of that level of commitment. With everything we have been through we know unquestionably we have been through the worst that can happen as far as anything breaking us apart. I know when he comes here there will be times when I will wish he was back across the ocean and I could just hang up and not have to see him for hours and hours. But I look forward to that. Strangely enough I look forward to the disagreements and the bickering as much as I look forward to being able to touch him and kiss him whenever I want. I just look forward to LIFE with him. All of it - the bad and the good. I look forward to the storms along with the sunshine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JaydaLeah Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 Thank you guys, you have all been really encouraging. I am reminded of how much we both really want this. He just told me about plans to get a house together when he is back. (!!!!!) I was pleasantly surprised because i feel that this is a big move in our relationship. Getting a house together connotes marriage and is an action of commitment which i really appreciate. Even though i do feel its too soon because we have only been dating for 9 mths, but im touched. Well, in my country, it takes sometime to get a flat esp for young couples because of some procedures. So this is probably the time to start thinking about it.. to prepare his grand arrival two yrs later. I feel my heart pounding at the thought of it. Its also like registering for marriage! hehe.. Link to post Share on other sites
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