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Don't know how to approach a friend(?)


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Okay well I became friends with this girl and we hung out in our Phys. Ed. class last year. We didn't have any classes together other than gym and we never went beyond the small friendship we had. We talked but had no subject. Our conversations would consist of me asking her questions about her weekend, and that was it. Due to some other things that i couldn't avoid, i became distant to her by the end of last year.

 

Since the beginning of this school year, shes been in my 1st period class and sits one seat behind me, and over one row of seats.

 

I still haven't said a word to her other than when i had to (my teacher had put us in groups to do a constructive project and she was in my group). I guess what I'm really asking is i really want to start talking to her again, but i don't know how i would go about it. Any ideas?

Thanks.

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I'm assuming you are in high school? Also can I ask what it was that made you avoid her at the end of last year?

 

Anyway, I know sometimes in a classroom setting depending on how strict the teacher is it can be hard to spark up a conversation. But even just a "hey how've you been? how were your holidays?" at the beginning or end of class. It doesn't have to be any kind of big gesture, just something small to just the ball rolling again.

 

I don't know if you see her at lunch or other times in the hallways throughout the day, but if so a smile or wave, stopping to say what's up are good ways to work up building a friendship (or more) this year.

 

Keep posting and good luck!

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Yes the both of us are in High School. I began avoiding her because I didn't want to became really attached to her. Because i knew i wouldn't see her in the Summer and I didn't want to have to deal with being sad, so i kept my distance.

 

I have taken what you said into mind, but trying to get myself to do this is a completely different battle haha.

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just talk man, be confident. after you feel comfortable enough around her

 

find her in the hall, library any were were its just 1 on 1. kinda pull her aside, give her the direct attiention, then see whats shes doing tomarrow or the next coming weekend, ask her to chill. could be a movie, party, chillin with friends, minigolf, frisbee, picnic, swimming at the lake, whatever you like to do. but if you want more to go on between you and her you gotta start hangin out outside of school, otherwise nothing will progress. what grade btw?

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We're both Sophmores, now.

 

It's kinda hard with this situation 'cause we never had any form of a friendship outside of school. We only hung out during school and even then it was awkward.

 

I put up with not saying anything since before this Summer, and my guess is that she is fine with the both of us being people making our way through High School.. I'm sure I'll break this NC eventually. Hell, I've done it every time i went NC with someone.

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It's kinda hard .

 

yeah man aint nothin gunna be easy, but stick with it if you really want her friendship try for it. maybe she seems to be content with things because of your vibe, even if oneday you feel all talkative thats all it would take. show her how fun it would be to be your friend. if that never happens be sure to learn from it. the next time keep intouch, even if its on facebook. thats even a thought, try friending her on that and just chat her up, that will make things a little easier when your in school. live life with no regrets, brotha.

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yeah man aint nothin gunna be easy, but stick with it if you really want her friendship try for it. maybe she seems to be content with things because of your vibe, even if oneday you feel all talkative thats all it would take. show her how fun it would be to be your friend. if that never happens be sure to learn from it. the next time keep intouch, even if its on facebook. thats even a thought, try friending her on that and just chat her up, that will make things a little easier when your in school. live life with no regrets, brotha.

Yeah i was thinkin' that it would be convient for me to get a myspace since she has one and we can talk through that and try to catch up with everything. Thanks for the help. I'll post again on this every so often :)

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Kind of an update..

 

Due to our school having exams all this week, it's been hard to find time to talk to her. Still not 100% sure of a decision I'm going to be making but, like i mentioned earlier, i don't want to start to become too attached and i kinda winced after school today when i saw her with another guy. I guess I'll just give her one of those signs that people tend to do that say something like, "I know you still exist but i don't plan on doing much about it".

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Coincidentally, i was just getting on and i saw that you just posted.

 

I guess what I keep on leaving out is how i asked her out twice. Rejected, twice. We never could back to being the friends we were. It was simply too awkward.

 

On top of that, due to me avoiding her for the entire school year up to this point, it would be weird for me to just, suddenly, start talking to her. Should i make up an excuse to try to get things back?

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Okay now I can understand how being turned down can turn things on the awkward side.

 

At this point you've just really gotta decide if you really do want to pursue a friendship with her again, because all the while you've seemed very unsure if that's what you want to do. But if it is, then like you said try to talk to her on myspace sometime. Don't make up an excuse, you don't want to start off the friendship with lies, you could just say something like 'hey long time no talk' you don't even have to mention what the reasons are you stopped talking. Unless she asks, then tell her. But until that point just focus on initiating conversation- that's your first step.

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Okay. i was pretty deep in thought with everything going on. I decided that doing something is better than not doing anything at all. It wouldn't hurt too much as it is.

 

Monday is when everyone's schedule reverts back to what it was. So this weekend gives me a good time to plan everything out. (like answers to questions she may have or questions i would ask her).

 

I'll make sure to post later on Monday. Thanks again for the help.

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Good luck man! You can do it

 

So are you planning on contacting her through myspace or in person on Monday? Either way, it's good you're making the first step now :)

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Definetly in person.

 

Me and her have to take the same hallway between our first and second period classes. I've been getting out of 1st period a little faster than anyone so that we don't end up walking right next to each other. But, i'll make it so that we do walk next to each other and it'll all go from there.

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I wasn't able to for the entire week. She had some sort of Flu. Hopefully, if shes in on Monday, I'll do it then. Until then, I'm kind of uneasy.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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Well, we talked a little. Nothing major. But it felt okay. She changed her status on Facebook from "single" to "It's complicated". I know its not b/c of me or anything. Ugh. I just hate everything.

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