nicki Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I know it's been done here before, but now that I'm single again, I'm wondering about it all anew. When I asked the last guy I dated what kind of sexual fantasy I could help fulfill, he said "A threesome." Um, no. We stayed together for a while, but I really never got over the feeling that I was enough for him....it was quite devastating. So, if you found out the guy you were dating had a three-some fantasy, would it be enough to end things? And guys, what is your take on the three-some fantasy. Is it something that stays in your head, or is it something you are really hoping to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Adamagnet Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 So, if you found out the guy you were dating had a three-some fantasy, would it be enough to end things? Was your main reason for ending things with him because he told you about his fantasy? And guys, what is your take on the three-some fantasy. Is it something that stays in your head, or is it something you are really hoping to do? Do you really even have to ask this question? Only men who are repressed by cultural or religious norms would say no to the idea if he wasn't planning on anything long term, given that both other people are attractive women. Link to post Share on other sites
portcitykitty Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 My guy has hinted to me a couple of times that he'd like to have a 3some with me, said he's never had one before and would like to experience one with me sometime. I'm not keen on the idea at all. He knows how I feel about it, and luckily he's not constantly pressuring me about it. It does kill what little self esteem I have because it makes me feel I'm not enough for him, that I don't satisfy him, but I also try to think that it's a very common fantasy for most men. I'm fine with it being a fantasy, I wouldn't end things because of it, just as long as he keeps it to himself and doesn't pressure me about it, otherwise I might have to cut him off! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 nicki, let's look at this another way. How many men can honestly satisfy two women at the same time? Link to post Share on other sites
Dumbledore Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Two guys and one girl seems to work better. The ratio of plugs to sockets is a bit more even. Then again, oral is a different matter. There needs to be at least three mouths to get adequate coverage over a standard set of male genitals (one head, one shaft, and two juicy balls). Link to post Share on other sites
AAlike Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I know it's been done here before, but now that I'm single again, I'm wondering about it all anew. When I asked the last guy I dated what kind of sexual fantasy I could help fulfill, he said "A threesome." Um, no. We stayed together for a while, but I really never got over the feeling that I was enough for him....it was quite devastating. So, if you found out the guy you were dating had a three-some fantasy, would it be enough to end things? And guys, what is your take on the three-some fantasy. Is it something that stays in your head, or is it something you are really hoping to do? Hopefully you learned never to ask such a question again, especially since you're probably going to get that answer from plenty of guys. Had he suggested this to you out of the blue, or tried to pressure you into it, I'd say that your feelings were totally justified. but if you really posed this question as if it were a fantasy, then I think that you're overreacting. Link to post Share on other sites
AlektraClementine Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I'd say you're over thinking it. Without going into any detail.....The fantasies that I've been "working with" lately are things I NEVER want to act out in real life. They help me to get off but I in no way want to do these things in real life. Now, that's not to say that a man's 3some fantasy is something he NEVER wants to act out. I just mean that fantasies aren't necessarily things that when not experienced, create voids in people sexually. Link to post Share on other sites
annieo Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 My h and I had some late night, slightly drunk conversations about this. But I think we both realized that it would open up a can of wormy jealousy. Plus, I would only potentially agree to a 3some with another woman if we were also going to have a 3 some with another man. H didn't dig that idea Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 It wouldn't bother me if he had such a fantasy. Lots of guys do, and it's really not my business to judge his fantasies, nor do I feel they are any reflection on me. If he wanted me to fulfill this fantasy, as the OP said her bf did, it would bother me a great deal. If he were serious about wanting me to act this out, and not just bringing it up as a general fantasies discussion, then no, I couldn't stay with him. We clearly would not see our relationship or what is acceptable in a monogamous relationship in the same way, so are fundamentally incompatible. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 So, if you found out the guy you were dating had a three-some fantasy, would it be enough to end things? Well if you took that approach, you would just have to stop dating Stop stressing - it is a perfectly standard male fantasy. Does not mean that they would actually do it. And definitely does not mean that you are not enough for them. A real woman is far better than two fantasised women. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 And guys, what is your take on the three-some fantasy. Is it something that stays in your head, or is it something you are really hoping to do? Nope, don't want to do it and if a gf of mine lets a fantasy like that known to me, she is history. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 When I asked the last guy I dated what kind of sexual fantasy I could help fulfill, he said "A threesome." Um, no. I missed these key words the first time around. Deal-breaker! Link to post Share on other sites
ella23 Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Yes, it would a dealbreaker. Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I'd tend to view it in the light of how he dealt with my refusal. If he thinks my, "Nope," is not a big deal and drops it, then I'm fine with it. I have unusual interests that I will share if prompted (as the OP did), but I don't demand my partner to oblige me in them. Even in a long term relationship, I find other men attractive and think about them sexually, but it's absolutely disconnected from my feelings for my SO. They're sexual props for my mind, nothing more. If an SO made it clear that this was something he regularly expected in relationships, or that participating would be 'proof' of my feelings for him, then it would be a dealbreaker. Link to post Share on other sites
Jo78 Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 nicki, let's look at this another way. How many men can honestly satisfy two women at the same time? So true! I had a 3some twice, not with a BF though, but when I was going through my wild single time. I don't mean to ruin your fantasy, guys, but both of us girls were incredibly bored during the deed. The only fun we had was afterwards when we made fun of the guys' failure to even excite us. Thinking of the poor fellas still cracks us both up, even years later. So be careful what you're wishing for, as it might come true... It was a good bonding experience for us girls, but I don't recommend it if you are in a serious relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Dumbledore Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 , but both of us girls were incredibly bored during the deed. Wow, that sounds hawt. By "incredibly bored," I assume you mean that he thrust his stiff, ample manhood down all four holes. And then went back for another round. Link to post Share on other sites
georgejungle Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 dude here. i've fantisized about it once or twice, but I would NEVER make it a reality and I would never ask my wife to do it. I'm not a religious man either. Young, wild and unattached people, be my guest. But if you're in a relationship with someone, you don't bring someone else in. Lame. i've fantasized about it sure, but I've also fantasized about getting with Scarlett Johannsen, but that ain't gonna happen either. Link to post Share on other sites
AAlike Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Just to make this clear...some of you are saying that you would dump your SO if they had a FANTASY about a threesome? or is it if they wanted to actually do it? Link to post Share on other sites
djdiablo Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I don't like the idea of anyone else pleasuring my woman. Man or woman. I make her orgasm enough by myself, I hope... Plus there are plenty of other ways to make sex exciting. Plenty of other fantasies to fulfill. Costumes, blindfolds, role-playing, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
ella23 Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Just to make this clear...some of you are saying that you would dump your SO if they had a FANTASY about a threesome? or is it if they wanted to actually do it? if he actually wanted to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I know it's been done here before, but now that I'm single again, I'm wondering about it all anew. When I asked the last guy I dated what kind of sexual fantasy I could help fulfill, he said "A threesome." Um, no. We stayed together for a while, but I really never got over the feeling that I was enough for him....it was quite devastating. So, if you found out the guy you were dating had a three-some fantasy, would it be enough to end things? And guys, what is your take on the three-some fantasy. Is it something that stays in your head, or is it something you are really hoping to do? I've had a few threesomes with 2 other women, and while it was great in the moment...It's not something that you reflect on and are proud of, and it's NOT a healthy thing for a relationship. Guys and women for that matter would generally be smart to leave well enough alone when it comes to this. Just my two cents. Link to post Share on other sites
LovieDove24 Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Hmm, I am a woman and am open to the idea of a threesome. Maybe I can offer up another opinion on the matter. If the guy brought it up I would absolutely not be surprised. Its a standard male fantasy as far as I'm concerned, pretty sure 75% of guys have it. If I were to say no and he got pushy about it, DEAL BREAKER. If I said maybe and he pestered me non stop about it, DEAL BREAKER. If he let me mull it over and played 100% by MY rules it would not be a deal breaker. To be honest, the guy I have been seeing for a couple months actually recently mentioned it (mostly jokingly) and I said "no comment." But it got me curious and quite frankly it made me happy he's so open sexually. I think it is one of those "bucket list" items that needs to be crossed off the list. And I'd way rather do it in a loving relationship than after some skeezy drunken night out with strangers. But thats just me. Link to post Share on other sites
iceis44 Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 You should have said " I have the perfect guy in mind we can call" bet he would have stuttered all over the place. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Two guys and one girl seems to work better. The ratio of plugs to sockets is a bit more even. Then again, oral is a different matter. There needs to be at least three mouths to get adequate coverage over a standard set of male genitals (one head, one shaft, and two juicy balls). I've done a few 2f1m 3 somes and one 3f1m 4 some. It's more fun in theory than reality. Link to post Share on other sites
julkat Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I asked my partner if he would help me fulfil some of my fantasies (one of which was a threesome) and we ended up with a foursome. So much fun for everyone we participate about every six or eight weeks together. The only way threesomes, etc. work is if absolutely everyone is game and no one is being pressured or coerced. And anyone can say NO any time. If any one of the people is hesitating, then the group isn't ready and it should be a no-go. Or you will destroy relationships. Just my four cents. Link to post Share on other sites
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