Would you fk someone for money?

[boxing123]

Yikes! That's a handful

 

See, I could never date a farmer either

I don't need a wealthy guy but I just wouldn't get serious with, or marry a guy that made 40k a year or something. I would feel like it was a burden on me, we could never have kids etc.

 

 

 

 

So, the man has to make what amount for you to be serious with him? How big must his paycheck be, to be worthy of you? And what if he loses his job? I suppose he loses you too. What a catch.

 

Seriously, I have never heard a man say in my life "Well I wouldn't marry a woman who makes 40k or something". You do not see the double standard?

 

And this coming from an "independent" woman who makes her own money.

 

Do you realize that only the about the top 10% of American households make more than 100k ? And you are one of the "non gold diggers?"

 

 

So women, why don't you just name your price? Stop playing games, and tell us all how much a man must make to have your precious company?

[Ruby Slippers]

I have been pursued by rich guys I felt no connection with, and I turned them down. The most important thing to me is a real connection -- love. Except in cases in which the guy is too poor to support himself and have a little bit of fun besides, money has never been a factor in my decisions about whom to be in a relationship with.

[boxing123]

Yeah, I think every woman on Earth has the rich guy story. They all sound the same..

 

When you listen to women talking about a man's money, it would be similar to me saying:

 

 

"Well, my future wife does not have to be a supermodel, just around 5 ft 8, 120lbs, 36dd with long legs, perfect hair and skin" "Oh, and she must love to cook, love sex, be intelligent, caring, kind, and have an excellent sense of humor. But I don't care about looks! I just want a connection and love"

[BareGoddess]

No, I'm not the dude who says he's rich. And fine, it happens sometimes. It happens. Whatever. Not all women are gold-diggers by any means, but there are gold-diggers, yes? And there are rich men who wouldn't have a partner without their $$$.

 

Absolutely. The only thing I was debating about was that it was common. Does it happen, oh yes. No doubt about it. Is it common? I don't think it is that common.

[BareGoddess]

Yeah, I think every woman on Earth has the rich guy story. They all sound the same..

 

When you listen to women talking about a man's money, it would be similar to me saying:

 

 

"Well, my future wife does not have to be a supermodel, just around 5 ft 8, 120lbs, 36dd with long legs, perfect hair and skin" "Oh, and she must love to cook, love sex, be intelligent, caring, kind, and have an excellent sense of humor. But I don't care about looks! I just want a connection and love"

 

I don't understand your point. In my particular case, I swear on my son's head I made nothing up.

 

I mean speaking for myself, I never said looks don't matter to me. Yep, they do. I could never, ever in a zillion years sleep with a man I wasn't attracted to. No way, Jose!

 

And by the way, what the heck is so wrong with wanting the "whole package" if you can get it? I wanted it and I got it.

[movingonandon]

How in the world was that a double standard? Why are you assuming all this about me? (I know you said the you was a general you but you're clearly applying these things to me as well). I have NEVER said that I expect my husband to take care of me, and I don't. I have a job I love and though I'm 25 and only a couple years out of college I do make more than 40K. I'm ambitious, smart and driven, I want the same in a mate. There are no double standards here, no unrealistic expectations. I bring to the table everything I require.

 

But I'll give you this in terms of "being taken care of." If my SO and I decide to have a child I WILL stay home for a year, I suppose you can consider this wanting to be taken care of, though I don't. I think most men would want their new baby and wife to have this luxury.

 

 

Well, most men would not turn down a woman who "only" makes 40k a year, so that's how it's a double standard (and decent women who happen to make less than that would be offended if this was the case, and rightly so), that's all I meant .

 

As for staying at home with a kid for a year, that's great as long as BOTH partners make the planning AND the financial contributions to make that possible.

 

(Just for the record, I'm not on a mission to make myself feel better - i don't make much money, but thankfeuly it's considerably more than 40k)

[Ruby Slippers]

Yeah, I think every woman on Earth has the rich guy story. They all sound the same..

 

When you listen to women talking about a man's money, it would be similar to me saying:

 

 

"Well, my future wife does not have to be a supermodel, just around 5 ft 8, 120lbs, 36dd with long legs, perfect hair and skin" "Oh, and she must love to cook, love sex, be intelligent, caring, kind, and have an excellent sense of humor. But I don't care about looks! I just want a connection and love"

Whatever, dude. You sound really cynical.

 

One of my boyfriends was only making $18K a year as a student/research scientist working on his PhD. I was in my first job out of college making twice as much. He drove a dependable used car, spent his money wisely, and never had a problem taking me on dates and even little weekend trips. He offered to pay all the rent and bills when we moved into a modest house together, but I insisted we split them 50/50.

[boxing123]

Yeah another common story..

 

"The med student/intern/doctor I was trying to land did not make much money that moment and I dated him!"

 

Maybe you deserve a medal? You dated a man who temporarily did not make tons of money during his first job as he was achieving his doctorate.

[movingonandon]

Whatever, dude. You sound really cynical.

 

One of my boyfriends was only making $18K a year as a student/research scientist working on his PhD. I was in my first job out of college making twice as much. He drove a dependable used car, spent his money wisely, and never had a problem taking me on dates and even little weekend trips. He offered to pay all the rent and bills when we moved into a modest house together, but I insisted we split them 50/50.

 

Don't mean to add to the cynicism, but (having been in your ex's shoe myself), the only reason people put up with making 18k per year while graduate students is the fact that their salary is guaranteed to be at least 3, more likely 4X this amount immediately afte graduation. Similarly, many girlfriends will be willing to put up with the initial inconvenience of making very little money

[Ruby Slippers]

^ Well, I do mean to dispel your stereotypes. Maybe most women are after maximum monetary gain, but not all of us are.

 

When I met him, I told him I was saving up my money to move to Europe and live for a few years. We eventually reached the compromise that he would finish his PhD and I would wait the two years for him to accompany me. He got a job abroad making about the equivalent of $30K USD. I easily could have stayed with him in the US while he looked for a job making $60K+. In fact, he offered to support me entirely once this happened. I declined because money was far from #1 on my priority list and my own goals meant a lot more to me than being supported by a man.

[boxing123]

And these stories ALWAYS end with the woman turning down the doctor, or rich guy, as "They did not want to be supported by a man"

 

I have come to realize 2 things about the world when talking to women.

 

1. The tiny % of wealthy men must have dated 99% of all women, or proposed marriage to them.

 

2. Every single rich/wealthy guy gets dumped, and is NEVER EVER the dumper.

[BareGoddess]

Moving and boxing, really!

 

Look the fact of the matter for me is that I would never have gotten involved with a man who wasn't exceptionally intelligent. That was a biggie for me. But he also had to be good looking and of good character. And yep, he had to make a decent living. No, he didn't have to be rich either.

 

But you're hypocrites...you sure wouldn't settle for a sweet girl, intelligent girl who was a dog and didn't have the body type you prefer. Would you?

 

So why berate some of us for expressing our preferences?

 

Again, I dated many men who had no money. They were ok temporarily. But they didn't possess the drive, ambition, excitement (that normally goes with guys who possess the former qualities) or intelligence I was looking for.

 

So what is so wrong for waiting for the guy with the "whole package" if you can get it? And yeah, in my book making a good living was part of that equation.

 

Had I not found it? I guess I would have been fine anyway. I certainly never had a problem supporting myself, that's for sure. I just wasn't willing to settle, that's all.

 

So again, I put it to you, what's so wrong with that?

[Ruby Slippers]

A big part of personal growth is letting your ideas be open to challenge, and actually giving consideration to differing opinions.

 

There's no talking to you, boxing. Your mind is completely shut. So, I give up.

[ruggy]

Let me just wrap this thread up. No woman is going to say yes.

 

There is the reality and what women dream of. It seems, a lot of women have this picture perfect man and will not settle for less. That does not mean doing something for money. It just means a certain type of guy. I have seen this in many women who are in their twenties and early thirties. Shame.

 

There can be a reverse for the men too. Seen that plenty of times.

[Trialbyfire]

I'm not certain I understand the cynicism being expressed by some of the men. Women are going to date who they're going to date, just like men are going to date who they're going to date.

 

All this caterwauling about politically correct dating skills isn't going to change attraction. And yes, some women are attracted to money, just like some women want a man with a big dick. This is no different than the man who wants a woman with a double-D chest or an heiress.

[allina]

So, the man has to make what amount for you to be serious with him? How big must his paycheck be, to be worthy of you? And what if he loses his job? I suppose he loses you too. What a catch.

 

Seriously, I have never heard a man say in my life "Well I wouldn't marry a woman who makes 40k or something". You do not see the double standard?

 

And this coming from an "independent" woman who makes her own money.

 

Do you realize that only the about the top 10% of American households make more than 100k ? And you are one of the "non gold diggers?"

 

 

So women, why don't you just name your price? Stop playing games, and tell us all how much a man must make to have your precious company?

 

Well, most men would not turn down a woman who "only" makes 40k a year, so that's how it's a double standard (and decent women who happen to make less than that would be offended if this was the case, and rightly so), that's all I meant .

 

As for staying at home with a kid for a year, that's great as long as BOTH partners make the planning AND the financial contributions to make that possible.

 

(Just for the record, I'm not on a mission to make myself feel better - i don't make much money, but thankfeuly it's considerably more than 40k)

 

I don't care if most men would date a broke woman. I have standards for myself, my future and any possible children I bring in to this world. This has nothing to do with gold digging or having a price What's so difficult to understand about me wanting an equal as a life partner? And yes, being equal to me in income, success and drive are important factors. I would not leave my SO if he lost his job, things happen and I'm with him from the long run. However, I wouldn't date a guy who couldn't/wouldn't keep a job. Again, I'm not saying he has to be wealthy, just not broke I doubt that most families in my area make less than 100k, was that true no one would own a home!

 

And Moving, the staying at home if we ever have a child IS a decision made by my SO and myself.

[boxing123]

This reminds me of why my ex girlfriend could not understand American women.

 

The first questions her home country girlfriends would ask about a new boyfriend of hers would be "Does he treat you well?, Is he good in bed? Is he romantic?"

 

All of her American girlfriends would ask "What does he do for work, what does he drive, is he rich"

 

But I understand now. A guy does not have to be "rich" or "wealthy" he just has to make a "good living" or have a "status job". Thanks for clearing all of this up.

 

Allina, so what is your price?

[The Collector]

And these stories ALWAYS end with the woman turning down the doctor, or rich guy, as "They did not want to be supported by a man"

 

I have come to realize 2 things about the world when talking to women.

 

1. The tiny % of wealthy men must have dated 99% of all women, or proposed marriage to them.

 

2. Every single rich/wealthy guy gets dumped, and is NEVER EVER the dumper.

 

It's funny because it's true.

 

Another thing is women will rarely say they want a rich guy, but they will say they want someone who is ambitious, driven, etc. But if the guy's drive and ambition is to be the best darn *insert low-paying career* or his ambition and drive don't pay off because of whatever reason, then maybe not so much.

 

Yeah it's a generalization and doesn't apply to anyone here, got it.

[The Collector]

All this caterwauling about politically correct dating skills isn't going to change attraction. And yes, some women are attracted to money, just like some women want a man with a big dick. This is no different than the man who wants a woman with a double-D chest or an heiress.

 

That's quite true and fair, but I think men tend to be a bit more upfront and honest about their preferences.

[allina]

This reminds me of why my ex girlfriend could not understand American women.

 

The first questions her home country girlfriends would ask about a new boyfriend of hers would be "Does he treat you well?, Is he good in bed? Is he romantic?"

 

All of her American girlfriends would ask "What does he do for work, what does he drive, is he rich"

 

But I understand now. A guy does not have to be "rich" or "wealthy" he just has to make a "good living" or have a "status job". Thanks for clearing all of this up.

 

Allina, so what is your price?

 

Oh, you're just bitter, I see

I don't have a "price" I'm not for sale The 40K was just a number I threw out there because it's not a wage you can really live off of around here.

 

The way a man treats me is crucial. The men I have dated in my past have all been great guys who treated me well, I like and respect them despite things not working out. Since this thread is about money that is the factor I addressed. Had this thread been about personality I would have obviously talked about that side of a relationship.

 

And FYI I'm not American born. And my amazing BF, who is sitting here with me, finishing off the delicious dinner I made for us, is listening to me read this thread out loud, laughing.

[Trialbyfire]

It's funny because it's true.

 

Another thing is women will rarely say they want a rich guy, but they will say they want someone who is ambitious, driven, etc. But if the guy's drive and ambition is to be the best darn *insert low-paying career* or his ambition and drive don't pay off because of whatever reason, then maybe not so much.

 

Yeah it's a generalization and doesn't apply to anyone here, got it.

I expect that a man will be able to bring to the table, what I can, within reason. He doesn't have to make an equal or greater salary, he just has to make a reasonable salary so that it has no impact on my lifestyle. I won't support a man. If a man wants to support a woman, that's his problem.

[boxing123]

I expect that a man will be able to bring to the table, what I can, within reason. He doesn't have to make an equal or greater salary, he just has to make a reasonable salary so that it has no impact on my lifestyle. I won't support a man. If a man wants to support a woman, that's his problem.

 

Well how old are you? How many kids? Are you married? How has it been working out?

[Trialbyfire]

Well how old are you? How many kids? Are you married? How has it been working out?

34, not married, currently dating my dream man. Any other details?

[BareGoddess]

So women, why don't you just name your price? Stop playing games, and tell us all how much a man must make to have your precious company?

Do you know how insulting you are? Wow. Not that it bothers me, you just make yourself look bad. But let me see if I can clue you in, k?

 

I have no price. My "precious company" could be had for free (well when i was single anyway) if the guy had some couth and class and yep, intelligence oh and looks. That's pretty much all. If he wanted more, he'd need more than that even...like a sense of humor, honesty, good morals and values and yep, the ability to hold a job and make a decent living in addition to being fiscally responsible. Imagine that?

 

uhm, Collector most of the men I've dated (including the two I married) were/are ambitious and driven as you mentioned. But neither of the men I married were/are rich. Not at all. Like I said, yep they both make more than the average income...so? Am I to be labeled a golddigger now just because I didn't settle and expected a lot in ALL areas?

 

A golddigger settles don't they? They give up one thing for another, right? I din't have to. I love my man, with or without the good income he provides. (And FYI, for the first few years of our marriage our income was pretty bad...I helped pay his debts off from his first marriage as well as his college loan. I even paid for our honeymoon. )

 

Allina!!!! Yep, Mr. T is laughing at this too. I won't say what he just said for fear of offending the men-folk here.

 

And Allina, I hear you. If my H lost his income or got sick or something like that, God forbid, I would stand by him and keep us afloat. We've even discussed that. (We're weird that way...we talk about all kinds of doom and gloom scenarios and what we'd do.) No way in HELL would I ever leave him.

 

My H with zero income still would blow away any other average man with a huge income.

[Trialbyfire]

Or in other words, 34, no family and single..

 

I think we need a section on this forum of people whom are successful in relationships to give advice.

Hmmm...so your barometer for success is being married with children? Not mine. I have a lot of barometers of which happiness is my definition of success and right now, I'm pretty darn happy!