What Now???

[Michael]

SO, I called yesterday, first time in two weeks, and left a message (she NEVER picks up the phone for anyone), very upbeat, saying i was thinking about her, I'd been nuts with work, and that I'd love to hear how she's doing...no neediness, no pressure, just a friendly ceck in call. (Thanks to all of you for you advice and kind words yesterday).

 

The response...NOTHING. I guess that is what i should have expected, and i really didn't call to get a response, though I'm a little annoyed since the last thing we said to each other at dinner almost three weeks ago now was that we would treat each other with kindness and respect, and she said to me in response to my asking what she wanted between us, "this, communication. That she wanted us to be talking, etc.

 

I'm actually ok, and trying not to overreact, but still, i feel as though at every opportunity she is forcing me to think of her in ways that I really do not want to. I don't know, maybe she will still call back, but waiting a day or two to call me back feels disrespectful. And she's the one who insists that she thinks we'll be "fine".

[James]

Michael, sorry but all is gone... take a walk when your not working... rent movies... go out of town and walk, visit a libary... any thing to get your mind off of her for a few weeks... you do not have to be in control but ackowledgment or lack of should tell you some thing...sorry

SO, I called yesterday, first time in two weeks, and left a message (she NEVER picks up the phone for anyone), very upbeat, saying i was thinking about her, I'd been nuts with work, and that I'd love to hear how she's doing...no neediness, no pressure, just a friendly ceck in call. (Thanks to all of you for you advice and kind words yesterday).

 

The response...NOTHING. I guess that is what i should have expected, and i really didn't call to get a response, though I'm a little annoyed since the last thing we said to each other at dinner almost three weeks ago now was that we would treat each other with kindness and respect, and she said to me in response to my asking what she wanted between us, "this, communication. That she wanted us to be talking, etc. I'm actually ok, and trying not to overreact, but still, i feel as though at every opportunity she is forcing me to think of her in ways that I really do not want to. I don't know, maybe she will still call back, but waiting a day or two to call me back feels disrespectful. And she's the one who insists that she thinks we'll be "fine".

[Nicky]

Michael, sorry but all is gone... take a walk when your not working... rent movies... go out of town and walk, visit a libary... any thing to get your mind off of her for a few weeks... you do not have to be in control but ackowledgment or lack of should tell you some thing...sorry

I'm sorry to hear about this. Talk about saying one thing and doing another!

 

I agree with James. It's time to try and switch off, and distract yourself. Try and get on with your life. Leave the ball in her court. If she does call, i think it is important to ask her how she would feel in your position. You REALLY don't need this. But leave her be now. There's not really anything you can do.

 

I hope she comes to her senses- otherwise I think it'll be her loss.

 

Good luck

[Jesaco]

SO, I called yesterday, first time in two weeks, and left a message (she NEVER picks up the phone for anyone), very upbeat, saying i was thinking about her, I'd been nuts with work, and that I'd love to hear how she's doing...no neediness, no pressure, just a friendly ceck in call. (Thanks to all of you for you advice and kind words yesterday).

 

The response...NOTHING. I guess that is what i should have expected, and i really didn't call to get a response, though I'm a little annoyed since the last thing we said to each other at dinner almost three weeks ago now was that we would treat each other with kindness and respect, and she said to me in response to my asking what she wanted between us, "this, communication. That she wanted us to be talking, etc. I'm actually ok, and trying not to overreact, but still, i feel as though at every opportunity she is forcing me to think of her in ways that I really do not want to. I don't know, maybe she will still call back, but waiting a day or two to call me back feels disrespectful. And she's the one who insists that she thinks we'll be "fine".

Hi!

 

You've done all you can do. Your calls are showing her that you care about her, and want to know that she's okay. If she ignores you, it's because of her own confusions. Also think about this. If she is ignoring you, she's being pretty rude. And how many people ignore someone if they care about them? So keep calling her when you want to know how she's doing, but also get on with your life. You need to have positive interactions with people in order to start feeling better about yourself.

 

She also may have the idea that you are being pushy simply by asking how she's doing. But that thought has to do with her own insecurities, and wanting to "blame" her own feelings on you.

 

Best of luck,

 

Jesaco