She said she needs time, but I don't want her to grow close to someone else.

[MyLossForever]

I posted a thread the other day about my girlfriend leaving for college. I went down yesterday to see her and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. She said she wanted me to come down as a friend and not to get my hopes up because she didn't want to see me get hurt. She goes to college 2 hours away. I cried the whole car ride down there. I got there and she couldn't look me in the face. She told me that she had grown close to someone else. I had a relationship with this girl for 3 years. I told her before she went to college that we should be friends for awhile and rethink our feelings for each other. I knew how much I cared for her and loved her. I wanted her to show me the same.

When I got down there, we talked for maybe 45 minutes. It was a very short and emotional visit. I guess the person she met down there is amazing. She said he plays the piano and was an all-star football player. His parents own a 5-star hotel in our area. I can't compete with that. The whole conversation she couldn't look me in the face. I know she still loves me. You don't spend 3 years with someon and not love them. I'm writing this because I don't want to be holding onto something that isn't there. I think she still has strong feelings for me but is hurt becuase of me saying let's start over and be friends for awhile. These past 3 1/2 weeks without her have been unbearable. I cry uncontrolably all the time. I can't eat or sleep. I lost 15 pounds. I need her. She said she needs time. I feel that if I give her time then I will lose her to someone else. I can't live with myself knowing that I pushed her into the arms of someone else. Help me.

[sonofhud]

When girls, as well as many guys, they want to have fun. Which usually means meeting new guys and girls. If you guys dated for 3 years, there's no way you can remain friends. She has all ready moved on if she is with someone else. You should do the same or you will continue to be hurt.

[sonofhud]

i screwed that up....

 

i meant when girls move away to college they want to have fun

[wiseluv34]

why do guys say they need "time" from a relationship? i know why, b/c they think the lady is going to die from being lonely for them, they think the lady will beggg him to come back, and hang around to wait for him to change his mind! not even, i don't blame your ex-g/f! see, i'm in the exact same predicament as she was, the guy say's let's take some time apart. well, your ex-g/f did what all of us as women have to do, MOVE ON!! she probably do still love you, but she's afraid that you'll need more "time apart", if and when she get back involved with you. she had to move on from you, to help ease her pain. see, men don't realize how selfish they can be, yall only think of yourselves, when you request for time apart. but just remember that, we as women have to think of ourselves..also. so, if you REALLY love your ex g/f, then just leave her alone and let her have her fun sowing her oats! b/c you're the reason she's having to do it.

p.s., i respect the fact that everyone makes mistakes, just give her some "time", and if you 2 are meant to be together, then time will tell. but just wish her well for now, and move on.

[lonelygirl2003]

If you really are sorry for saying what that you said and you really do love her, then just let her know that you are still there and let her find out for herself what it is that she wants, 'cause if she thinks that you aren't there anymore, then she will never come back, but if you smother her than you will drive her away.

The pain doesn't ever completely go away, but with everyday it becomes more bearable and if it was meant to be then it will be.

[MyLossForever]

Well guys, I appreciate your opinions. I told her how I felt these past few weeks. She knows. Last night she called me saying she was coming home this weekend and that she wanted to see me. I asked her why. She said that she keeps comparing the person she is with to me. He has all the faults that I don't and lacks all the good qualities that I have. She started crying on the phone. She said that it made her feel good knowing that I was here wondering about her and knowing how much I care for her. She also said that she told this guy that her heart lies with me and there is nothing she can do.

[wiseluv34]

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU! you did good by letting her 'sow her oats' and find out what it was she really wanted..AND TURNS OUT IT'S YOU THAT SHE WANTS!!!! well, i wish you both a blessed future. just remember to treat her well, and don't let her go again....b/c next time you may lose. i'm glad 4 u!

[lonelygirl2003]

Congragulations!!!!

I am very glad to hear that you two are back together. I only hope that the time period that you were away from each other makes your bond a stronger one and you both remember this when you go through the trials that life has for each of us. You can make it through anything with the Lords help and enough work. Again, congragulations, I wish the best for you both.