feelingcrappy Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 I need help with some problems I am having. I am married and I have been having an emotional relationship with someone who is also married. This has been going on for 2 years. Nothing physical has happened, but we have talked ALOT about our feelings. We both have children and agree that this is not something we want to do. We have tried to just be friends and not talk about anything "between us" but it never works. Any advice on how to deal with this? Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 If you have already found that you cannot stop talking about the two of you, then wouldn't the next logical step be that you stop all communication? Why are you unhappy in your own marriage? Have you tried to fix that first? Obviously you aren't getting what you need from your wife so either fix it or leave. "Staying for the kids" is a common excuse for people to stay in an unhappy marriage. It's better off that your kids have happy parents. You'll be doing them a favor by separating. They pick up on negative energy and they'll think the way you and your wife behave with one another is normal and they'll be doomed to unhappy relationships when they get older too. Think about what you're doing... Link to post Share on other sites
Author feelingcrappy Posted September 22, 2003 Author Share Posted September 22, 2003 I would be all for stopping all communication - but - he is my boss. I have tried to fix my marriage, but I have not had any luck. I guess it doesn't help matters much that my husband goes to lunch with his secretary every day. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 I guess it doesn't help matters much that my husband goes to lunch with his secretary every day. So you are worried that your husband may be having an emotional affair as well? If so, your marriage may be in crisis and "fixing it" may be beyond your means without some real help. You haven't actually done anything yet, so now may be the time to lay everything out on the table before it's too late and you've reached the point of no return. Once your emotional affair turns into a physical one, communication will shut down because then you'll be working too hard to keep what you've done a secret. Tell your husband how spending so much time with his secretary makes you feel (if you haven't already). Tell him that you have also found a friend you enjoy spending time with...and although nothing has happened, you're worried if things continue the way that they have been, your afraid that both of you might eventually give in to temptation. You don’t need to give him names or details. Since you say nothing has happened yet, then those facts are irrelevant and will do nothing except make him angry and defensive. Tell him that you think your marriage is worth saving, but if the two of you can't come to some agreement/compromise on your own, then perhaps it might be in your best interest to seek relationship counseling. Tell him you’re willing to do whatever it takes to save your relationship, but that he must be willing to meet you half way. If ever there was a time to make a move and yank this marriage back on track...That time is NOW! Remember, there’s nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. You haven’t actually DONE anything yet! Please, please don't wait until it’s too late. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeRealistic Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 Plan a vacation and get a way for a while together. And the question is, do you love your husband, and do you think he loves you? Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 This post was from 2003, I highly doubt that person is here anymore or still viewing this post. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
LifeRealistic Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 lol I guess they went away then for real lol- I have done this more than once on this site! Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
teressa0397 Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 I need help with some problems I am having. I am married and I have been having an emotional relationship with someone who is also married. This has been going on for 2 years. Nothing physical has happened, but we have talked ALOT about our feelings. We both have children and agree that this is not something we want to do. We have tried to just be friends and not talk about anything "between us" but it never works. Any advice on how to deal with this? I will tell you this. Get out of it. It is not worth it. The pain emotional feelings the guilt. the crying holding on to him you will fine your self depressed . Dont put your Children and Family threw this??. wondering why he hasnt call you or E-mail YOu will be wondering all the time. I no i went threw this. Please dont put yourself threw that, IF he loves his Wife he wont leave her anyway. DOnt hurt her OK. DOnt hurt yourself...Let him go. NOW let me tell you about ME.,, I'am also married been haveing affair for 11 years. with same man. i'am hook on him like some one is hook on cracked its that bad. I have went threw all up above . OUt side the bed room he treats me like ****. PLease please stop. ITs too emotional on Heart soul body and mind. STOP Link to post Share on other sites
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