Worried that the problem is me???

[whichwayisup]

I received a BJ from a female in training... Then when we went to Arizona, I did what MAJORITY of men do and f****d a female...

 

And you expect your wife just to up and forgive/forget about this? WHAT have you done to show her you're trustworthy again? What have you done to regain her respect, trust and faith in you?

 

If you're still married to your wife in 10 or 15 years from now, I hope you see how immature and selfish you sound. Let alone THROWING your wife out of the house because she didn't have sex with you - You were HORNED UP by another woman, come home and demand sex? That's just so wrong.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Husband,

 

You're right, the problem IS you. Can't believe you're just figuring that out.

 

At what point do you take responsibility for the consequences of your actions. At what point do y ou stop expecting other people to take the consequences for your actions.

 

While infidelity might be forgivable, it is never forgotten. Sex was the betrayal, yet YOU expect your wife to give to you in the way that you took (more than you will ever know) from her. You expect her to RESPECT you in any way?????? You've lost her love (wifely love) her trust (that you will always love and protect her) and her respect for you as a REAL man/husband.

 

She KNOWS you don't want her for anything more than a BJ so that you can fantasize about your latest conquest.

 

How do you think she feels when you come onto her or even hug her? Have you really thought about that or do you care as long as she "plays along"?

 

Did you expect to have a wonderful sex life while your wife was popping out babies? Or did you just expect her to suck it up so that you don't have to deal with your own consequences.

 

Babies = less/no sex

Affairs = no sex

Lack of trust = no sex

Lack of respect = no sex

Allowing your parents to interfere = no sex

Kicking your wife out because some tramp came onto you = no sex

 

These were all your choices. You have CHOSEN no sex.

 

Your wife has two babies to tend to while she deals with your infidelities (while you hound her for sex) and you consider yourself a good father and husband????? In what pretend world???

 

Husband's wife,

 

Get some counseling, you can't deal with this on your own. In the future, stay away from mama's boys... they seem to be somewhat narcissistic.

I'm sorry that you gave up a scholarship for this loser. I wish you and your babies the best.

[Enema]

I received a BJ from a female in training. I confessed to that and we had it settled...or so I thought. Then when we went to Arizona, I did what MAJORITY of men do and f****d a female.

 

You didn't mention that you are a cheater in your original post. I think you just wanted people to take your side, rather than get real opinions.

 

And now, when your wife brings it up - you make up excuses and avoid taking responsibility. You're trying to sweep it under the carpet as if you did nothing wrong.

 

You're a terrible husband, person, and yes - the problem is 100% you.

[annieo]

You're a terrible husband, person, and yes - the problem is 100% you.

 

Agreed! I can't believe that OP's original post consisted largely of him complaining that he wasn't getting any from his wife. This surprised him? What a selfish, mindless, heartless jerk! You are the kind of person who gives men a bad name.

 

Even minus the cheating, the fact that you kicked your wife out after turning you down would be enough for most women to close down sexually. In fact, I would hazard a guess that most women wouldn't bother coming back home after that, unless there was dire financial need.

 

Do your wife a favour and get out of her life, but make sure that you help to care for the kids, financially and otherwise. That might redeem you a little, prove that you aren't a complete waste of space. That you have something resembling a conscience.

[porter218]

..., because this is a problem that needed to nipped in the bud before I become a "cheating bastard"!!! .

 

Oh yea, sorry... too late. You already have more then earned that same title. Except you have a double dose of the later part of that.

[Geishawhelk]

Husband, I think you should go away.

 

By "Go away" I mean, consider a different country.

[Hu5baNd]

Well I think I have subjected myself to enough of the comments, I do believe that my wife knows I have changed. Since her logging in and reading and everything- WE came to the decision I am going to see someone about ME!!! I DO take responsibilty for my f**k ups and acknowledge the fact that my wife can and does deserve better. So with that being said I WILL work my ass off to regain her respect, trust, love, and faith in me. Honestly with all the input from you guys and gals, thats about the only thing to do. Just take my time and see what she wants to do, I know she still loves me because aside from all of you that think I need to leave or she needs to leave me, she does not want to take that path, and no financially she IS stable enough to be on her 2 feet.

[Athena]

Worried that the problem is me?

But it was like pulling teeth to get her to even touch me. Im a young dude, and I dont have much of a problem in the female dept, but I am seriously thinking that we are heading down that oh so common path...Someone please help me!!!!

 

You know, going back to your first post, after the truth about your serial cheating became known, is enlightening.... so it's a bother to you "like pulling teeth" to get your wife to blow you...? What do you expect?!

 

...A little clarification...I received a BJ from a female in training. I confessed to that and we had it settled...or so I thought. Then when we went to Arizona, I did what MAJORITY of men do and f****d a female. I did so using my little head and not the bigger one.

So you say it's the usual manly thing to do, to F...K some woman?! BUT you are MARRIED!!!!! You have NO right having sex with anyone outside the marriage. Frankly it seems to me that for a young woman like your W, who was bright enough to receive a scholarship, she wasted her intelligence on a guy who is way too full of himself. Yes, the problem IS YOU. And I highly doubt you will change your ways. I am married to a serial cheater like you -- he was previously married to his first wife at age 19, two years later had a child with her, and within that 6 and a half year marriage, he managed to rack up 5 affairs.... fast forward to our 22 year marriage, he has added another 7 or 8 (I lose track) more... I don't believe serial cheaters like you ever change.

 

Have a look in the Infidelity section of Loveshack, and see how other spouses are not as forgiving as your W... even when their men are truly remorseful and genuinely trying to make things right. All you care about it seems, is what you can get away with.

 

You don't deserve your W.

[Mr. Lucky]

and not financially she IS stable enough to be on her 2 feet.

I hate to break it to you my friend, but supporting her and your two kids would continue to be your responsibility even if she did leave you. You've done several things - get married, have kids, get caught cheating, etc. - without understanding or regards to the long term consequences. You got to stop thinking about your satisfaction in the next five minutes and start thinking about the next five years...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Touche]

I agree that the OP has been a dog and I'm glad I never married a cheater or had kids with one. And I'm sorry to say that this is more than likely a lost cause...though I really, really hope I'm wrong since kids are involved here.

 

But maybe other people can still learn from this thread.

 

Let's look at this:

 

he was previously married to his first wife at age 19, two years later had a child with her, and within that 6 and a half year marriage, he managed to rack up 5 affairs.

 

Yet, you still for some reason, Athena, married him anyway! WTF? WHY? Were you totally blind? Did you really believe that a guy who had 5 affairs in 6 years of marriage was a good catch?

 

Sorry, but I think you're just as much to blame as the dogs who can't stay faithful.

 

As for the OP, you seem genuinely remorseful. Let's hope for your sake and your kids' sake that your wife forgives you. You married at a ridiculously young age and had no idea what it takes to make it work.

 

I pray that you can make this right and keep your family together.

[Athena]

 

 

Yet, you still for some reason, Athena, married him anyway! WTF? WHY? Were you totally blind? Did you really believe that a guy who had 5 affairs in 6 years of marriage was a good catch?

 

Sorry, but I think you're just as much to blame as the dogs who can't stay faithful.

 

Ah, Touche, you have a very good question, "Why did I marry him?"... well, to begin with, he had gone to his first wife and confessed of his own accord (he was not caught) and told her of all his affairs, apologized, showed remorse, swore he would never cheat on her again. Asked her for forgiveness... she said she'd think about it, got him to send her overseas to her Dad's home for a month... a few days after she had left, the divorce papers were served to him.

 

So -- I was looking at a man who had wronged his wife, but had married young, and realized his wrongdoings and asked her for forgiveness. I truly thought he had learned his lesson, and he assured me he would never have cheated on her, nor on anyone ever again.

 

Yes, now that I am 43 years old, I sure know better about people's track record, but I was a pretty naive 21 year old when I got married to him, and I believed him.

Now I know better about 'patterns' in people's behavior, which is why I told the original poster above, that I believe HE won't change... he and his W may not know this because they are 21 years of age, but I know this -- I have the benefit of age, and experience.