Husband thinks he will have Alzheimer's in 10 years from now...

[AlisonBWesthoughton]

I'm 24, and my new husband's 25. We've been married for 3 months now.

 

My husband said to me today that he expects he will have a commode and a colostomy bag in 10 years time, and probably Alzheimer's as well. He said he doesn't want to be this way, but he thinks it's just the way the future will be.

 

I asked him why he thought this, and he said that, although no-one in his family has suffered from the disease, he just thinks that's what his fate will be in a decade from now.

 

I said to him it was all right, and not to worry, but he's started to change a lot - and it's got me wondering what's up.

He used to be fairly active - going to the local swimming centre, cycling - but has now given those up fearing they'll give him Alzheimer's disease and that they'll make him end up on a commode anyway. In fact the only things he hasn't given up are going to work, helping around the house, and watching television. He doesn't appear depressed, but how do I know he isn't?

 

I've tried everything to help him, but I'm starting to get on edge and stressed - not the same thing as fed up (I love him a lot) but don't know where to turn or who to go to.

 

I would appreciate all your advice - it would be very helpful.

[AlisonBWesthoughton]

He's started looking up info about colostomy bags and commodes on the Internet today; and looking at materials on Alzheimer's.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Does he know something he's not sharing with you?

[AlisonBWesthoughton]

Does he know something he's not sharing with you?

 

Not that I'm aware of. He has told me there's no history of Alzheimer's or mental illness in his family.

 

But this new behaviour's started worrying me - he's even taken 3 weeks off work for "compassionate leave" when there's nothing wrong in his family, or my family.

[JamesM]

What events preceded this sudden change? Sometimes traumatic events such as death or accidents or even divorce can trigger such fears. Even marriage can because it is an indicator to us that we are getting older.

 

Anxiety can also be hereditary. Does anyone in his family have a history of depression, anxiety or panic attacks?

 

Depression takes many forms...including anxiety.

 

It could also be a chemical imbalance.

 

Personally, I would suggest that he get a full medical evaluation, and then perhaps a psychological evaluation.

 

Would he agree to this?

 

Does he not wonder from where these irrational fears came? Fear of death is not irrational, but an obsession with it or with particular diseases is usually a sign of something else going on.

 

Tell him to research when these diseases begin and at what age. I think he will discover that it is incredibly rare that they strike someone in their thirties. And when he says that he will be the rare case, ask him if he usually is a rare case in other areas. Most people do fit the statistical majority...obviously.