Searching49 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 To be honest, it is just a vendetta....oh...that will cost me a lot of money. Childish? Yes. But, I'm sick of her making herself out to be the victim in this to her family, friends, etc. Who cares? You're not going to be seeing them all soon anyway. Take the easy route, save yourself the money and buy a large flat screen and an XBOX 360(after the separation agreement because you don't want that puppy being marriage property!). When you do, let me know and we'll team up on Call of Duty 5. ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author GAU77 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Who cares? You're not going to be seeing them all soon anyway. Take the easy route, save yourself the money and buy a large flat screen and an XBOX 360(after the separation agreement because you don't want that puppy being marriage property!). When you do, let me know and we'll team up on Call of Duty 5. ;-) Ha...absolutely. Either and XBOX or PS3. I was thinking the other day, "Wow...when this is over, I'm going to have even more money." Plus, when this is over, I'll be able to focus more on my business....which has been hard to do over the last several months. Link to post Share on other sites
Iamagreatdad Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Don't do anything financially stupid. If you haven't been forced by the court or by a stipulation to refinance the house, don't just take a horrible interest rate or bad deal. Let her rent. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GAU77 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Don't do anything financially stupid. If you haven't been forced by the court or by a stipulation to refinance the house, don't just take a horrible interest rate or bad deal. Let her rent. I agree 100%. When we met to go over things a couple of weeks ago, I told her that I would want 12 months to refinance....she said no way, and I said, very calmly, "Well, I guess I'll see you in court then." At a minimum, I'm going to want 9 months. Link to post Share on other sites
Searching49 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I agree 100%. When we met to go over things a couple of weeks ago, I told her that I would want 12 months to refinance....she said no way, and I said, very calmly, "Well, I guess I'll see you in court then." At a minimum, I'm going to want 9 months. GAU, I'd really recommend making a page long list of questions for your various options and going to talk to a lawyer if you haven't already done so. If you were willing to cry V for vendetta with thousands to burn, then you can afford an hour or two. Do you research ahead of time of the divorce laws for your state and have your questions ready. Be logical and informed, not rash and stupid! You'll thank me when you have the $5,000 still in your bank account. I was in the angry stage a few weeks ago. It passes. Who cares how much she and her family stomp their feet on the ground? Don't let their confusion and her lies cloud your judgement. While some on here have very great advice (legally and otherwise), we can't possibly know all of the details. A candid one hour discussion with a lawyer can do that for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GAU77 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 GAU, I'd really recommend making a page long list of questions for your various options and going to talk to a lawyer if you haven't already done so. If you were willing to cry V for vendetta with thousands to burn, then you can afford an hour or two. Do you research ahead of time of the divorce laws for your state and have your questions ready. Be logical and informed, not rash and stupid! You'll thank me when you have the $5,000 still in your bank account. I was in the angry stage a few weeks ago. It passes. Who cares how much she and her family stomp their feet on the ground? Don't let their confusion and her lies cloud your judgement. While some on here have very great advice (legally and otherwise), we can't possibly know all of the details. A candid one hour discussion with a lawyer can do that for you. Thanks.....guess I should let the cat out of the bag. I sound completely ignorant on family law because I am. I practice other areas of law. Today, I spoke with a good friend of mine who is a divorce lawyer, for free, which is one of the perks of being an attorney....one of the only perks, though...lol. He basically told me that he wouldn't bother with surveillance, etc...because it won't matter and it will only make me angrier and more upset. He did say that, if we had kids and custody was a major issue, then by all means he would recommend a more aggressive approach. To be honest, I'm pretty embarrassed that I sound like a mopey and weak person on this forum, because I'm not usually like this........but, this situation is so emotionally charged for me and I was so caught off guard that I've sort of lost myself. As silly as this sounds, I'm also dreading having to tell girls in the future that I'm a "divorcee." I sometimes wonder if they'll will be turned off by this....because they look at it as a stigma. But, it is what it is, I guess. Another friend of mine told me today that I should suspend my practice for one or two months after this is all over with....just to take a breather and get away from it all. Might not be a bad idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Mountains10 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Thanks.....guess I should let the cat out of the bag. I sound completely ignorant on family law because I am. I practice other areas of law. Today, I spoke with a good friend of mine who is a divorce lawyer, for free, which is one of the perks of being an attorney....one of the only perks, though...lol. He basically told me that he wouldn't bother with surveillance, etc...because it won't matter and it will only make me angrier and more upset. He did say that, if we had kids and custody was a major issue, then by all means he would recommend a more aggressive approach. To be honest, I'm pretty embarrassed that I sound like a mopey and weak person on this forum, because I'm not usually like this........but, this situation is so emotionally charged for me and I was so caught off guard that I've sort of lost myself. As silly as this sounds, I'm also dreading having to tell girls in the future that I'm a "divorcee." I sometimes wonder if they'll will be turned off by this....because they look at it as a stigma. But, it is what it is, I guess. Another friend of mine told me today that I should suspend my practice for one or two months after this is all over with....just to take a breather and get away from it all. Might not be a bad idea. I wouldn't look at yourself as weak. A lot of us get blindsided by this and we don't even see it coming. The person we've spent most of our lives with, walks out and leaves us hanging, and we want to fix it and can't, it's very frustrating. You have to give yourself time to grieve and perhaps even attend counseling. It's not something to be taken lightly. So, the last thing I would worry about is looking 'weak'. Link to post Share on other sites
Searching49 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 To be honest, I'm pretty embarrassed that I sound like a mopey and weak person on this forum, because I'm not usually like this........but, this situation is so emotionally charged for me and I was so caught off guard that I've sort of lost myself. As silly as this sounds, I'm also dreading having to tell girls in the future that I'm a "divorcee." I sometimes wonder if they'll will be turned off by this....because they look at it as a stigma. But, it is what it is, I guess. Don't be embarrassed. I feel exactly the same way. I was a very happy and confident person with everything going my way. I still have everything going my way except for her. This situation has brought me to my knees. We all feel like we've lost ourselves and we all wonder if the next person will be able to get past it. You never know the background of the "next person" so who knows they could be in the same boat. Like I said in another post, I don't plan on dropping the D bomb until I decide this person is important enough to know the story. I don't consider it deception because it isn't who I am and it isn't something I'm ashamed of. If anything, I'm quite proud of myself through all of this. Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I'd suggest that you purchase a sperm detection kit and test her soiled underwear if you still have access. If you get a positive result then, with the email and other evidence you have, you should be able to file on grounds of adultery. Even though it won't make any difference regarding settlement in a no-fault state you still have the opportunity of making all facts regarding her infidelity visible on public record forever! Then you can rub her father's nose in it to let him know that the daughter he raised is without morals or scruples and now the entire world knows it too! Also, I'd avoid letting her place of employment know about any of this until the divorce is final so alimony can never be an issue once you're ready to expose the tawdry details to her boss! (Scorch and Burn Dude...Scorch and Burn) Link to post Share on other sites
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