sandrawg Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I am not a bigot by any means, nor would I ever discriminate against gay or bi people. I am actually bi, myself. I prefer men, though-I don't see myself ever getting into a serious relationship with a woman. That said, my ex and I broke up 2 months ago, and while we were apart, he hooked up with a gay man. I had no idea he was even into men-we discussed it once or twice, I think, and he said he wasn't interested. During those 2 months, he kept wanting me back. He would text me at odd hours of the night about everything he lost, and how he was upset about what he did (he had lied to me about hanging out with his ex-gf, who was after him. Long story-I've posted about it before.) Well, I ended up missing him, and we went out for a drink with his friends one night. He told me right off the bat about this guy and what happened. I felt kind of weird about it. The next night, I had a date with another guy, and my ex ended up going to a gay bar with this guy and a couple of friends. I thought that was a bad idea that might lead the guy on. As it turned out, the guy was constantly texting my ex about how much he liked him....my ex kept telling me "I'm not gay", but I had my doubts. For 3 weeks, me and the ex saw each other, attempting to see if there was anything there to build a new relationship on. That whole time, the guy was calling my ex, and my ex kept having to "talk" to him because he was "hurt." This is where I had no trust for my ex. My ex said he told the guy right off the bat that he wasn't gay and that he still loved me. So why would this guy persist in trying to win over my ex-bf? The last straw was that my ex invited me to a bar with his co-workers. He told me as soon as I got there, that he had to take the gay guy out to DINNER, to have yet another TALK about things...this was not cool with me. I couldn't see why he'd have to take him to dinner, or why this whole thing was being drawn out. We ended up fighting and I walked out. I just gave up. I've since spoken to gay friends who've said, this all sounds like my ex is gay and in the closet. My hetero friends say, my ex has probably been with men before. My ex swore it was the first time. I'm not sure why I'm writing. Maybe I feel like I need validation-I feel kind of bad that all of this made me uncomfortable. Maybe if me and my ex hadn't had so much baggage, I could have handled all of this better. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Someone else on this forum has an issue with an ex she is convinced is gay, but he seems to be fighting to stay in the closet. It's causing her a lot of grief and heartache, but to be honest, it's the same-sex thing that is the issue. It really doesn't matter. Having an ex betray you with a same sex/opposite sex affair/hook-up is hurtful, regardless. Forget his issues. They are sooo his problems. It's not your concern. These things happen, and we need to go through the pain, tsake it on the chin, accept and move on. Take a deep breath, and take a step forward. Look after you. Enjoy you. Love you. The rest can go to hell. Link to post Share on other sites
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