The ultimate "cockblock"?

[Gaz]

Here's the background: two weeks ago, I was hanging out with my ex. She's very cute, very intelligent, super sweet, and all my friends think I'm mad to let her go, but we're friends now.

 

So there we are, hanging out at a club in town. I'd called my buddy "Mike" to come in and join us, try to get a bit of a party going, and he informed me he's on his way, bringing his friends "Dave" and "Mary".

 

Those guys showed up, and when I laid eyes on Mary, my jaw hit the floor. She was absolutely gorgeous. "Well done Dave" I thought, assuming that she was his date. Anyways, all five of us grabbed a table, and started enjoying the evening. As time wore on, I found myself engrossed in conversation with Mary. We spoke about everything, and even found ourselves flirting with each other. We REALLY seemed to hit it off, and I found myself wishing she was here alone. During the conversation, the subject of buying a place came up, to which she said "Yeah, this guy that I just started dating is buying a place too, he keeps asking me about it, and it's annoying me." I made some comment about not knowing Dave was in the market, and she was apalled, apparantly the concept of dating Dave was was just... well, seemingly nasty (This doesn't surprise me, there's something about him that just rubs some people the wrong way, myself included). After she got up to go to the bathroom, my ex sat down and said that she thought Mary really liked me.

 

But even though I now knew that she wasn't seeing anyone I know, and that the guy she WAS seeing was in the beginning stage (therefore making it non-exclusive, and acceptable for me to ask her out!) I thought it would be tasteless to do so in front of my ex. So at the end of the night (and it was a LATE night!) we all went home.

 

The next day, I met up with Mike for brunch, and I mentioned Mary. Mike smiled, and pointed out that he "didn't want to say anything in front of your ex, but I think she really liked you!" This was exactly what I wanted to hear, so I asked Mike to arrange another night out, where I could see her again, and ask her out.

 

Now the problem begins. Mike only met her once or twice, but she's a good friend of Dave, and he's the only one with her phone number. I mentioned to Dave that I'd like to see her again, and he curtly responded to me "She's busy." This has happened several times, I've asked Dave to try and get her to come out, and each time he claims that he tried calling earlier, but she was again busy, or he got her voicemail, etc. Finally, I asked him for her number, or if he could ask her if she could call me, and he flatly refused.

 

So with no way to proceed, it seemed I was down and out, but this weekend, Mike came through and managed to get her number from Dave. So how do you guys think I should proceed? Have Mike call her and try to get that group night out? Or ask Mike to call her and say "Gaz asked me to call you, he wondered if it would be ok if he got your number?" (The way I would normally do it, but that's back home in Ireland, and I've realized that this place has insanely different rules!) Maybe even go the playground route, and have Mike "accidentally let slip to her" that I'm interested? (For the love of God, I'm 29 years old!!) Or just realize that after 2 and a half weeks now, whatever interest she had in me is likely faded now?

 

Damn Dave...

[cindy0039]

Just get the girl's number and call her! Stop worrying so much about "rules" (whatever that means) and just be yourself. You'll do fine.

[moimeme]

Or ask Mike to call her and say "Gaz asked me to call you, he wondered if it would be ok if he got your number?"

 

I'd go this route. You might also suggest that he could give her your number. It's the gentlemanly way to go.

[songwriter]

nah, man. don't call her. have mike call and arrange a group night out. allow him to mention your crush and then you know if she shows up whether or not it's worth the persuit. there's no akward moment between you and she if ya just ain't her type. easy for you. easy for her.

[Gaz]

Cindy/moime, that's what I would normally do, but after a reasonable amount of time has passed, I fear that the question "Hey Mary, Gaz wants you to have his number, he'd like to see you again" would be responded with "Gaz? Who he?!"

 

Like it or not, the rules are there. I've avoided playing them for my entire dating life in this country (all of 12 months!!) and it always bites me in the arse. Like it or not, I need to play by at least a couple of them.

 

Song, I think you're on the money with your suggestion - I was leaning towards the group night out, but having Mike mentioning the crush (haha, I love that word, it's so playground!) is a good extra move. That said, Mike isn't the most subtle or tactful guy regarding women. Ah well, I'll just have him do it, and if he screws up I'll beat the bejaysus out of him!