Wtf?

[Providence]

Well my situation is simple. Today I got in an argument with my mom. This argument though had been boiling up for a while. You see I'm 19 and I'm about to start my second semester in college I don't work, but if I were to work it would be pretty much the death of me because I basically do all the work that needs to be done in the house. Due to work responsibilities my dad is only home about 20 hours a week or less but I really don't mind that or doing stuff at home because I feel that I am earning my keep.

 

This is tied in to the fight because my mom always does sny remarks about my supposed "laziness". In this case it was about me not reading a letter for my parents. The problem there though was that I did read that letter, I remember it as clear as day. She kept insisting though that I did not. An argument though cannot start about a simple letter, I know this because I am not stupid and have known my parents for 19 years. The problem arose when I admittedly did a sly remark by saying that new payments we would be paying would eliminate our ability to help my brother out - My brother is going through a very bad divorce, he left his wife and kids and impregnated someone else and now we have to help him out financially, take into consideration that this is the person who once told me that it was about time that I got a job- (and don't get me wrong I did for a while but after a day I noticed that if I stayed there I would have to quit college, and well if my parents are always saying that I have to help them retire then they might as well let me stay here while I finish school). I feel this resentment towards my brother because he is always doing stupid crap and my mom tries to compare me to him. He never went to college but he did do something with his life that anyone would be proud of, he spent 7k on an accessory even though my parents have to help him with the rent and so on.... Idk what do you guys think? Did my mom get mad at me because of the stress she's going through or is she just defending my brother?

 

I am trying to improve myself and well one thing that I always try not to do is scream at my mother, but I couldnt help it. I mean while we were arguing she was plain childish by closing the door on my when I went to throw away the trash, admitedly I closed the door on her too (stupid reaction my part and unbelievable childish by dropping to her level). Furthermore she just insilts me when we argue and tries to make me look as the bad guy, I mean at some points I even convince myself that I am. One step I took today was to apply at a job somewhere, Idk if I can handle the load but idc anymore anything is better than being insulted.

 

In all truthfulness I think i have a self-absorbed mother. I mean my parents buy me a lot of crap and I mean a lot. One thing about all this crap though is that it feels rented. For one if I am doing a 20 page paper and I'm on the computer for more than an hour she accuses me of playing video games lol. Just the other day I got a new processor and when she saw I was happy the entire day she was being plain rude to me by making sly remarks. I'm grateful for all this crap I have but it's just plain confusing. One day my dad tells me why I dont buy something and two years later he's asking why I bought something so expensive. It's just plain weird. One more thing is that I'm always home i really dont go out, right now I'm on winter break and I've only been out of the house for one day. The two reasons are plain simple= I dont want to spend their money going out because it will come back to bite me in the a$$ and I also havent really tried to because my cars are dirty lol. In the end idk, I dont think she really had the right to use a dirty excuse to make me look lazy when i am trying everyday to build my future.

 

One more thing I'd like to add: it feels like I'm the only person that is worried about my parents financial future. I mean just yesterday in the morning before I got up I was worried for about an hour about how the hell we get by. Idk I may not have a job but having to do a lot of crap at home ( that I cannot say because it's personal) is rather stressing on top of having a college work load.

 

I apologize for the spelling and grammatical errors but I am still pretty shocked about everything, I knew it was coming but I never thought I was right. This is all kinda scary even for a ** year old.

[Whillo]

I would say you're pretty lucky to have parents that support you while you're going to college. My daughter is taking 14 units, has a part-time job and a full dance schedule. She saves all but 25% of her income for college. We feed her and sometimes help out with gas. She's appreciative and understands that many of her fellow students are struggling to pay for classes as well as rent and food. She respects us and we respect and appreciate anything she does around the house to help out, but would rather see her pulling in a 4.0 than do the dishes.

 

Maybe you could get a part-time job just to get yourself out of the house for a bit and feel more independent. Wash your car for pities sake if that's what is keeping you there. Even the best relationships get strained a bit when there isn't anything else to occupy your free time. It sounds like you've worked up a number of things to resent your parents for, but it sounds like they are there for you.

[Xion]

i would definitly leave. they obviously dont respect you enough and if u have your own apartment or dorm its ten times better. you parents seem alot more easygoing than my parents so if you do this life will be better.