How do I turn my bestfriend into girlfriend

[DigitalManDan]

So I feel like this needs a lot of background story so I can get more accurate help. Basically ive been trying to turn my best friend into my girlfriend.

 

Im 25 and live at home while saving $ working on animation for small films. She is 27 lives by herself in an apt in the complex that she works for. We live about 8 minutes from each other.

 

We became friends almost 4 years ago now and have been best friends for the majority of it. She had been dating one of my friends (now obvious ex-friend) from high school for about 2 years...up until recently.

 

Anyways I graduated from college and moved back home about a year and a half ago and thats when i started getting even closer to her and started liking her the more we hung out and talked. This is also probably due to the fact that her bf moved an hour away to grad school even tho they were still seeing each other on weekends. On a normal basis if we werent hanging out every day doing things we would be talking online or texting constantly. Shes pretty much aquired all of my friends as her friends.

 

So in October it finally got to the point where i had to confess all my feelings for her. I thought that was going to cause her to back away but it didnt. Although i started backing off because i couldnt handle the suffering. She hated the distance and confessed she knows that we;ve been more than friends and that it felt like we were breaking because it felt like we were in a relationship. She told me she has gotten jealous a couple times when ive hung out with other female friends. She told me about a time she wanted to kiss me but didnt. She also told me many time when i was away for a weekend or a trip that she missed me. She also said that she started figuring out that i liked her around the beginning of the summer.

 

Her bf and i were basically the only guys in her life and a huge part of it obviously meaning a lot to her and she wanted us both. But the way it was. So i started not being able to handle it even more and told her that I couldnt be friends with her or talk to her until things changed. We went for a week without talking which was absolutely miserable for the both of us considering how we had been used to constant everything. She ended up telling her bf everything and constantly crying to him causing him to give her the ultimatium of never talkting to me or seeing me again if she wanted to stay with him. She wasnt about to agree to that so they broke up the next week officially when he found out she was hanging out with me again.

 

On that night we were watching a movie and i ended up cuddling up with her. I attempted to kiss her but she turned away. Keep in mind we had never even held hands or anything up until this night. We then layed down cuddling and i snuck in a kiss and she kissed back a for a few seconds but said it felt weird and was too soon.

 

So for about a month i gave her plenty of space and time. She said she was so indecisive about the whole thing and was constantly going back and forth about how she felt about her and him and me and her. Also during the week we didnt talk she had told friends of mine during that time she relealized problems between her and her bf and how much she needed me in her life and how i was the one who made her happy and was most important to her. About a month ago she deicded to back off from me for about a week although we still talked every other day almost like once or twice but then realized the same things again.

 

Throughout this month she still has been back and forth about everything and still argueing with the ex. There have been a few more times where weve been close like a night out to the bars and a club with friends we seemed to cling physically pretty close the whole time but no kiss. Just last week we started talking about very personal things online like masturbating and such a few times. Then over the weekend we did date like things movies and dinner and hungg out watching tv on her couch while cuddling up. We fell asleep for a bit and then for some reason she woke up feeling weird and uncomfortable with it for some reason still. Then this whole last week i hung out with her almost every night in hopes to cuddle up or see some sorta sign from her again...but nothing.

 

So yesterday we argued about it and she goes into saying how everything is so weird for her cuz she was so comfortable with me as a best friend. She realizes that we have been more than friends at some sort of inbetween thing but feels weird about it being more than that. She said everything is there between us and has feelings but feels like something is missing, and that something missing has to be there for her or she wouldnt be into it. It seems like the only thing missing the physicalness which she is weirded out by since weve never had a phyiscall relationship of any kind. Then she says having a romantic relationship with me would be weird to her. I also know that she likes tall skinny dark haired guys and she is usually set in her ways about things. Im the same height as her maybe a sliver taller and have light colored hair blonde-red. I told her i cant keep going back and forth with how one minute she seems to give one feeling towards me and say stuff and then the next minute she says and does the complete opposite. She replied saying she was just testing things out last week and it felt weird. So now for the 3rd time we arent talking again which im sure wont last long but it still sucks. Everytime this happens i make plans and go out and do things to keep my miind of her but then we both just end up missing each other.

 

I am completely in love with this girl and have no idea what to do, i cant just be best friends with her because i get too depressed. But Id also hate to not have her in my life. Theres got to be something i can do to make her see that giving things a shot, even just a kiss...wouldnt be so bad. This is the hardest thing ever.Any help would be great.

[OtherSide]

Sorry to say man, you got to let this one go as a friend. You had your chance when you just met. Now it's to late. Unless she feels the same way about you, you've got to suck it up and keep on marching. Sorry.

[thegoodlife]

You've gotta move on.

 

Sometimes the reality is that how we *think* it's going to be doesn't turn out to be the case. Either she feels the attraction towards you or she doesn't, it's not something to be acquired. I can understand at first how it might have been weird for her to be physical with you having just broken up with a long term boyfriend but that's your sign right there that she's not ready to move on yet.

 

For your sake and for her to have time to get her head on straight and decide what she wants you've gotta let it go. It's not at all fair what she is doing to you and I don't think she would be as patient and kind if the roles were reversed and you were the indecisive one. Look out for yourself man, because she's clearly not.