I know I am crazy, but does this support my theory that I am a sex addict?

[Sapphire]

Hello. I feel a little timid about writing this, but I believe that there is some anonymity in cyberspace. I'm 22 years young and I have bipolar depression along with a few other illnesses (PTSD, general anxiety). It has come to my attention through psychotherapy that I am a little bit of a sex addict. Most bipolars are druggies or boozers, but not I, no....I prefer sex and everything about it.

 

I am recently engaged to a gentleman who is seven years my senior and I love him dearly. Sexually, I am overly aggressive, dominating, and much more sexually motivated than he is. The problem is I get really upset at him when he doesn't wanna "put out" and I feel very rejected by this. I am a big girl, aka overweight, but I am working feverishly to lose weight so I feel more attractive and healthy. Granted, I realize that I will never be Jenna Jameson or any supermodel, but I feel that I am just not good enough. He assures me that I am the best thing that has ever happened to him, but I feel so sh*tty and unsure about myself. It is almost like if I don't have sex like everyday, my mood worsens and my depression kicks in. I have mentioned this to my therapist and she recommends talking to my guy about it. In which I talk to him about this all the time, but I still feel empty. It is obvious that I have emotional issues and self-esteem concerns...no crap!

 

Lately, I have been dreaming about past men in my life and a couple of his friends. One of his friends had asked to "borrow" me for a night because he never gets sex from his wife. I happen to find this gentleman attractive and I saw him yesterday when I was running an errand for my fiance. Mentally, I wanted to do the deal right there at his house, but I couldn't because of my morals. This is so annoying. Am I totally outta my mind? Please help me.

[2SidestoStories]

I feel inclined to comment especially in regard to your bipolar disorder. I can say for sure that I know that addiction is absolutely an aspect of this disorder. Not from personal experience, mind you, but from knowing a few folks with bipolar disorder. You're the second one I've known of who was a self-professed sex addict.

 

I am not a therapist. Frankly, I'm nothing near it! However, I want to point out with all honesty that I am absolutely thrilled with you for having morals. The pain you would cause your fiance is NOT worth feeding your 'addiction.' In fact, if anything, curbing that addiction will likely help it!

 

I support you in your choice to remain true to your fiance! Of course, I'm just a disembodied 'voice' online, so...

[moimeme]

I would find a therapist who is skilled in dealing with sex addiction, if I were you. Your therapist's answer was unhelpful if you actually are a sex addict. It was like telling a depressed person to 'cheer up'. No help at all.

[Sapphire]

I feel horrible for having the thoughts and feelings that I do. My finance knows and has known from the very start that I am a highly sexual person. I, thank god, have been able to control those thoughts and fantasy and keep them in my head. I talk about them to my therapist and my finance. I feel so dirty, but I can't hide the fact that is how I am. I was raped and molested as a child and I have turned those experiences in me enjoying sex way too much. I thank you for your advice and I will see what I can do about seeing a sexual addiction therapist.