hoopsy32 Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Long story short, my mom got pregnant in highschool, her family couldn't afford it because my grandpa had had a heart-attack earlier that year. So they sent her away to have the baby and give it up for adoption. I didn't find out until I was 15, it sort of killed me because I've wanted a brother all my life (I have two older half-sisters) and one day, poof, I had one out there somewhere. I'm too scared to ask my mom anything about where, when, etc. because it was hard for her to even tell me in the first place. All I know about him is that he was born in 1973, making him 29-30. I don't even know who is adoptive parents are, or where he was born. I just want some info on how to go about finding someone because before I turned 18, there wasn't really much I could do, and now I'm 19, and I still feel like I'll never find him. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 don't give up hope, kiddo. There are a bunch of tools on line to search for people and there are always people you can talk to. Some of these services are free, some you pay for. Any kind of identification number is good (social security, driver's license); names of people who had contact with your mom at the time she was pregnant with him, and where they might be; if she went through an agency or if it was a private adoption ... there are lots of places to look, you just need to go about it in an organized manner and prepare to look long and hard, and get as much information as you can before you start the search. good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Fancy Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 I don't really have any ideas or tips on finding your brother, but I did want to add a comment. You may have in your mind a vision of a joyful meeting and you two being very close and making up for all those lost years, but it's not always that way. I met some siblings, aunts and an uncle when I was 23 years old and none of the relationships worked out. One stuck around long enough to borrow money from me, but the others barely gave me the time of day. They were a bit curious about me (what I looked like, my personality, etc.) but once that was satisfied, they went back to their life and today when I see them, they barely even speak (if at all). I'm not trying to rain on your parade or crash your hopes, but you need to be aware and prepared for the fact that your brother may not want to have a relationship with you. I'm not suggesting you forget the whole idea because I totally understand your desire to find him, but don't put your heart out there too much, okay? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 http://vsn.org/ http://www.birthquest.org/ http://www.adopteerights.org/regday/ Here are a few links that may help you. One thing you may want to consider is this - your mother did not give you up for adoption and if/when you find your brother he may be resentful of you even though it is not your fault. Link to post Share on other sites
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