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Which hurts more - Being ignored or treated with polite indifference?


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LucreziaBorgia

Polite indifference. It is one thing to be ignored - you can tell yourself that perhaps he/she misses me a little, and maybe thinks about me. But when they look you right in the face and you look into their eyes and see well, nothing - then it can be devastating. No room for false hope or wishful thinking there.

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True! when being ignored, you can think, well they're still mad at me. but if they are polite and indifferent, you think, holy cow, they really are over me. hmmmmmmmmm

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lilmrcheerful

Hmm, when you say "being ignored" did you mean it in the same context as "No Contact" because I think No Contact (if executed properly) also means you're over them and you would like nothing more to do with them, friends or otherwise..

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I'm just thinking of the people on this board who are trying to get their ex's to talk to them, but their ex's ignore their pleas to talk to them. They dont' understand why their ex's won't talk to them. So I'm wondering. Are their ex's not talking to them because they are angry (because that's what some people on this board feel) or are they not talking to them becasue they are trying to send the clear msg that they are over them and do not want any communication with them?

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I'm just thinking of the people on this board who are trying to get their ex's to talk to them, but their ex's ignore their pleas to talk to them. They dont' understand why their ex's won't talk to them. So I'm wondering. Are their ex's not talking to them because they are angry (because that's what some people on this board feel) or are they not talking to them becasue they are trying to send the clear msg that they are over them and do not want any communication with them?

 

That can go either way. Just because someone doesn't talk with someone doesn't mean they don't want to. It doesn't necessarily mean they're over them either.

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Polite indifference can also stem from anger though, too. A passive-aggressive type of anger. Kind of like a "sure, I'll respond but I really don't give a flying sh*% about you" attitude.

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Polite indifference can also stem from anger though, too. A passive-aggressive type of anger. Kind of like a "sure, I'll respond but I really don't give a flying sh*% about you" attitude.

 

Very true.

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confused_2008

Another vote for polite indifference. I also agree with bubblegum that it can be passive aggressive anger. I've experienced all of the above :p

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I'm just thinking of the people on this board who are trying to get their ex's to talk to them, but their ex's ignore their pleas to talk to them. They dont' understand why their ex's won't talk to them. So I'm wondering. Are their ex's not talking to them because they are angry (because that's what some people on this board feel) or are they not talking to them becasue they are trying to send the clear msg that they are over them and do not want any communication with them?

 

I like to combine the two. My recent ex had issues with commitment, so I broke up with him and stopped talking to him. I'd go NC for a certain number of days, and it would drive him nuts. Every once and a while I respond with something polite yet aloof, then go silent for a while.

 

The combination of the two seems to be making him reach out even more.

 

When it is me and someone won't talk to me- drives me nuts.

Way worse than limited, polite indifference.

 

I think you have to know and understand the person you are dealing with.

If anyone knows me well- they'd know I hate being ignored. I know my ex hates being ignored... but I also know he hates the thought of not being adored even more. If I ignore him and throw him an aloof response every once and a while- he grasps it like a fat kid on a smartie.

 

I'm telling you- I can ignore 5 texts over a period of 3 days... then throw him an aloof text- and he responds immediately with 5 more unanswered texts.

 

Ignore me and I'll go nuts! I won't reach out first though. I am very patient.

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both hurt like hell...

 

being polite & showing indifference is like saying "f**k off" in a polite way and i hate it...my ex always did that when i would text him, he would respond back like he was obligated...it hurt alot.

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