Author loulou101 Posted January 26, 2009 Author Share Posted January 26, 2009 I think a lot of people believe that this is a way to force a decision to be made. But for me its not anyway. I am done. He has had long enough to make decisions and if I have to go NC to get him to decide why would I want him... Thank you for such a quick reply I needed that reassurance that I am still in the right frame of mind... Link to post Share on other sites
desertmoon Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Here's what desertmoon wrote about her husband's cheating and it's effect on her: And yet part of her coping mechanism for the pain of that betrayal has been to collaborate with her MM to betray his spouse in the same way. How does that make sense? Mr. Lucky HI Loulou! True, something died inside of me. But you knew that already because you read my story (by the way, thank you for your comment and kind words:)). But we know why I am being quoted here..so whatever..<shrug>. We also know that your MM's wife's reaction to your affair with her H was to "close ranks"--and she basically, became your MM's warden. That must be very satisfying for her--that in order to keep her man, she must monitor all his movements, pretend to be nice to you, etc...does your OM wear an ankle monitoring bracelet by any chance? Anyhow, I have also told my OM that his wife could very well experience the same effect or react the same way as I did if/when she finds out about us. It is a huge risk that people need to think about. Sometimes, it does only take one act of cheating to kill something profound in a marriage. With us, it did not kill our marriage but there was collateral damage, well, cest la vie! Lou, I am not making any excuses or rationalizations to my actions. It would be so easy to say, I am having an affair because my H is having an affair..but it is not that...my reasons are self-serving...and nothing to do with my H. Good luck to your future plans! Stay strong, and hold your head up....never succumbed to self-doubt and self-pity.... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 But we know why I am being quoted here..so whatever..<shrug>. You were quoted because of the obvious contradiction between the protestation of the hurt and pain from your H's cheating and the indifference to your part in potentially inflicting that same pain on your MM's spouse. Has life numbed you to the point that you feel no empathy for other people? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
desertmoon Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 I don't want to hijack Loulou's thread, so my response to Mr. Lucky is on my thread... Link to post Share on other sites
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