bentnotbroken Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I don't' ever remember saying you were responsible for the problems in their relationship, for hims cheating on his wife or for him being a waste of human flesh. What I said, is....you are responsible for allowing him to continue a 7+ year relationship with YOU and having a child with YOU. Your actions, you are responsible for. And I am beginning to see that he is a product of his family if they encourage and support this type of behavior. You are the mother of this child. This innocent child. How do you go about explaining things to this child, because you know, as sure as the sun is hot, that somebody in that wonderful family is going to give your child a not so cleaned up version of the relationship between you, his father, his siblings and his father's wife. And as far as daggers go, that would imply that I wish to cause you harm. I don't, you have done that on your own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loulou101 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 I don't' ever remember saying you were responsible for the problems in their relationship, for hims cheating on his wife or for him being a waste of human flesh. What I said, is....you are responsible for allowing him to continue a 7+ year relationship with YOU and having a child with YOU. Your actions, you are responsible for. And I am beginning to see that he is a product of his family if they encourage and support this type of behavior. You are the mother of this child. This innocent child. How do you go about explaining things to this child, because you know, as sure as the sun is hot, that somebody in that wonderful family is going to give your child a not so cleaned up version of the relationship between you, his father, his siblings and his father's wife. And as far as daggers go, that would imply that I wish to cause you harm. I don't, you have done that on your own. I am certainly an adult and responsible for my decisions and my part of the affair. I did not cause their problems and did not make him cheat. If it werent me he would be with someone else because he is not happy in the marriage. I guess he stays for the financial comfort and family comfort and those things. His family realizes that he has been unhappy for a long period of time and know that he genuinely loves me and has not been willing to let everyone else suffer for his happiness. That was prior to our child and I was comfortable with status quo for the sake of his children. Now that my child is here it is no longer what I am comfortable with.... I realize that this is not an ideal situation for any party involved but it is what it is... I am not asking him to leave his wife for me... I am telling him that I will not live like this and will not raise my child like this... He is begging me to stay and saying I am crazy for leaving him because he doesnt want to turn his childrens lives upside down. The older ones still rely on parents for vehicles insurance apartments utilities groceries clothes etc at their respective schools. If he leaves and takes on this household, that is going to put financial pressures on his children who are still getting an education. I realize this is not a reasonable excuse to carry on with two women and families with children... That is why I am here... I have begun to rationalize the situation for him like it is ok because it is all about his kids that he has at home. I want out and am well on my way to getting out. I am not trying to make the relationship ok or right in the eyes of others. I just wanted to hear the opinions of others on the outside looking in. I want to believe that he is telling me the truth and that he is just a wonderful caring father who doesnt want to upset the onset of the kids college educations... however, I am smart enough to realize that he has a ten year old at home that may be entering college by time the others leave and the prospect of grandchildren is not far away.... Thank you for taking the time to give me your perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loulou101 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Humm... let's see.. When I fell out of love/lust with my first SO, he was like a 'brother' I loved him like a best friend not a SO anymore.. I even told him, at one point, that he could have a mistress.... so I would be left alone in bed... (he refused.. anyway)... Let's see he would have agreed... then he would have put the OW pregnant.. and let's say I didn't want out of the relationship, because of our kids, financial comfort, etc... then I would have agreed to pay child support..but keep my husband... that's probably what she intends to do.. and he is too 'wimp' to take his own decisions... He will not leave her, because he probably doesn't want to leave his 'financial comfortable' life with her and his kids, family and friends... it's that simple. Sometimes, people just agree to live a comfortable 'boring' life with their best friend, kids, family ... and if he/she has someone on the side and the partner knows it.. well why would he/she leave?... Thank you so much for your insight. I think alot of the reasons he has stayed married is for the comfort... but it still doesnt change my needs and wants so he can either leave and be with me or be comfortably un happy there.. its his choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 He wanted us to have a child together and I agreed under the assumption that he was leaving. I'm confused as to where this line of reasoning was supposed to lead. He was going to leave his current intact family unit of wife and children so that you and you child could have an intact family? Even you have to realize the contradiction of building your home by tearing someone else's down. If your goal and focus is (hopefully) to provide the best future for your child, do that by leaving this toxic mess and providing a stable and loving environment. All this drama is the opposite of what you should be seeking... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author loulou101 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 I'm confused as to where this line of reasoning was supposed to lead. He was going to leave his current intact family unit of wife and children so that you and you child could have an intact family? Even you have to realize the contradiction of building your home by tearing someone else's down. If your goal and focus is (hopefully) to provide the best future for your child, do that by leaving this toxic mess and providing a stable and loving environment. All this drama is the opposite of what you should be seeking... Mr. Lucky Thank you for your words of encouragement. But I have to say that I honestly believe that I tore nothing down. I am a poduct of the unhappiness in the marriage not the cause of it or he would not have sought out the relationship (IMO). I agree that this is not a good situation for me or my child and I am in the process of convincing him that I am serious after this amount of time that it is over... he is having a hard time accepting or believing that I am truly done and that he has a decision to make... either leave her or lose me... Thank you again for your insight... Link to post Share on other sites
desertmoon Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Hi loulou! The daggers were out...totally unnecessary, but the scorned have to have a target, sadly, right now it is YOU. Funny, they talk about this as if OW's do not know how society thinks about these affairs. I think, it might be worrisome to some of them because society, albeit, do not approved of it outwardly, still in the very core rarely vilifies the "perpetrators" ( I agree, with you OWOMAN, this verbiage is absolutely use to inflame--it is becoming a signature i think) and society has a huge capacity to ignore it, accept it, embrace it. It is a scary and threatening notion to those of us who cannot hang on to our spouses. Such acts (cheating, or being in an affair) really rarely counts....check out Bill Clinton, Jolie-Pitts---one just has to rise above the affair...be a good human being..infallible but not evil... With the birth of your child, you are, of course, forever linked to this man. BUT he has made his choice and his choice is to stay with his wife (it really should not matter to you, why he is staying--just that , he is!). If you choose to stay with him...then you cannot make demands of him(except perhaps for child support)---his first and foremost obligation is to his wife and children and then there is you and your baby. If you can see your life like that---go for it! I wouldn't worry about your child growing up knowing you weren't married to his/her father. Many great men and women were born in "questionable circumstances". Scorned men and women here bring that up to make you feel guilty-most of them are here to break you down...do not doubt it-they do not say those things to lift you up or because they care about the kids....no, you represent everything they hate and while some of them claim they are "over it"--they are not, clearly-or they won't be spewing out hatred and disgust. so, what are the things that are important to you the most? Link to post Share on other sites
Author loulou101 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Hi loulou! The daggers were out...totally unnecessary, but the scorned have to have a target, sadly, right now it is YOU. Funny, they talk about this as if OW's do not know how society thinks about these affairs. I think, it might be worrisome to some of them because society, albeit, do not approved of it outwardly, still in the very core rarely vilifies the "perpetrators" ( I agree, with you OWOMAN, this verbiage is absolutely use to inflame--it is becoming a signature i think) and society has a huge capacity to ignore it, accept it, embrace it. It is a scary and threatening notion to those of us who cannot hang on to our spouses. Such acts (cheating, or being in an affair) really rarely counts....check out Bill Clinton, Jolie-Pitts---one just has to rise above the affair...be a good human being..infallible but not evil... With the birth of your child, you are, of course, forever linked to this man. BUT he has made his choice and his choice is to stay with his wife (it really should not matter to you, why he is staying--just that , he is!). If you choose to stay with him...then you cannot make demands of him(except perhaps for child support)---his first and foremost obligation is to his wife and children and then there is you and your baby. If you can see your life like that---go for it! I wouldn't worry about your child growing up knowing you weren't married to his/her father. Many great men and women were born in "questionable circumstances". Scorned men and women here bring that up to make you feel guilty-most of them are here to break you down...do not doubt it-they do not say those things to lift you up or because they care about the kids....no, you represent everything they hate and while some of them claim they are "over it"--they are not, clearly-or they won't be spewing out hatred and disgust. so, what are the things that are important to you the most? If he said look I am going to stay and make my marriage work, I would walk away. In the beginning, I was in college getting my degree and trying to do things I needed to do for me. He supported me through that and we both understood for the first 4 yrs that it was next to impossible for him to leave with me in college and not working. Then for a year and a half or so we were dedicated to figuring out the best way to go about the transition for his children and family in total. Then I decided I wanted to move on because things were not progessing. I told him that I did not want to see him anymore and that I was moving on. He begged me to give him a little more time that he wanted to marry me and for us to have a family... Then I got pregnant and things spun out of control. SHe found out about the relationship and the pregnancy and called me. I confirmed everything and he felt like I turned my back on him and put his childrens lifestyles at risk... A month and a half went by and we didnt talk then we were back together with her knowing everything. He says he is not sure of the exact reason why he has been unable to make the final leap other than he does not want to hurt his children for his benefit (who does)... I am not making excuses for him... I empathize if that is what he feels but I can no longer put my life and the life of my child on hold while he tries to figure it out....I hope that things work out however they are supposed to... whatever that may be... The baby is in a very loving and stable home and he sees his daddy more than alot of kids do. I will only be able to explain to the baby that we were very in love and that he was created out of love in a not so great situation... Link to post Share on other sites
desertmoon Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 .. I empathize if that is what he feels but I can no longer put my life and the life of my child on hold while he tries to figure it out....I hope that things work out however they are supposed to... whatever that may be... There's your answer.."you can no longer put your life and the life of your child on hold."..so move on...it's a tough road--as you know...but it IS a workable and feasible alternative to your life right now... Tell your MM if he wants time with your baby, he can but not with you around---no use pretending the three of you are a family when you make the decision to move on...does he even see your baby now that every move is monitored by his wife? ( god, what a life...and why would anyone stoop to that level of "guarding" one's spouse????? that is humiliating!)... Many things to consider, a lot of strength needed and definitely faith in yourself that you can do this!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author loulou101 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 There's your answer.."you can no longer put your life and the life of your child on hold."..so move on...it's a tough road--as you know...but it IS a workable and feasible alternative to your life right now... Tell your MM if he wants time with your baby, he can but not with you around---no use pretending the three of you are a family when you make the decision to move on...does he even see your baby now that every move is monitored by his wife? ( god, what a life...and why would anyone stoop to that level of "guarding" one's spouse????? that is humiliating!)... Many things to consider, a lot of strength needed and definitely faith in yourself that you can do this!!!!!!! We are still together. She knows everything up to the point of the birth of the child. from there she thinks that we have had no contact. We see each other 3-5 times a week still and he is very involved with the baby. He knows that is his da da and he plays with him and everything is like a normal family when he is here (more daggers for that comment). She isnt guarding at all that I can tell.... I think she has resolved to living a life with a man that will never be faithful to her because he is unhappy in his marriage and does not love her... You can not carry on a single affair for almost 8 years and love your wife.. If it was for sex he could get that... and not have to have the emotional turmoil I have given him... So it who knows. I feel like the time has come to put up or shut up. I was content for a period of time but am not anymore... I posted a comment on your thread because it almost allowed me to peak into his life at home... A lot of things you said are things he has told me previously... I obviously dont want to be without him. I love him. But love only...only gets you so far... Link to post Share on other sites
Author loulou101 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Tell your MM if he wants time with your baby, he can but not with you around I have given him many options. I have told him that he can come see the baby at my house like normal and I would leave or whatever to allow him to continue to see the baby without his W knowing about it. I have given him the option of taking the child for the day to the park to eat play or visit grandparents but he is still too young to go overnight. I have given him the option of taking the baby to his house for the day whatever he wants to do I will not use the child as a weapon or tactic to make him miserable... nor to hang on to him Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I think, it might be worrisome to some of them because society, albeit, do not approved of it outwardly, still in the very core rarely vilifies the "perpetrators" ( I agree, with you OWOMAN, this verbiage is absolutely use to inflame--it is becoming a signature i think) and society has a huge capacity to ignore it, accept it, embrace it. Huh? One in a series of nonsensical posts. Since "ignore it" and "embrace it" imply the opposite of each other, you point is... ? Such acts (cheating, or being in an affair) really rarely counts.... Rarely counts to whom? The wife or husband demoted to understudy (except they don't know, so that makes it OK somehow) while you audition someone else for the part? The kids left behind while Mom or Dad moves on and starts a new family? Who exactly doesn't count? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author loulou101 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Huh? One in a series of nonsensical posts. Since "ignore it" and "embrace it" imply the opposite of each other, you point is... ? Rarely counts to whom? The wife or husband demoted to understudy (except they don't know, so that makes it OK somehow) while you audition someone else for the part? The kids left behind while Mom or Dad moves on and starts a new family? Who exactly doesn't count? Mr. Lucky I believe you misunderstood the post. What she was saying is that the OW is not the villain but is usually made out to be the villain instead of the MM. Some in society ignore it some embrace it... The point is pretty clear. But my question for you is do you think it is better for the parents to be miserable for the sake of the children? Is it not better for the parents to be happy and actually inject that happiness in the lives of their children. Kids are not dumb they know when things are not kosher at home. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 What an ass ha ha ... this is the my kids father not some married man I am screwing with my kids from so other relationship in the house.. I am here for support not a lesson on morals. Obviously the relationship is wrong but I am looking to resolve the situation and every time I try to leave he tells me I am crazy.... I was looking for support in that it would do more good than harm to the child by leaving his father. It is not as black and white as it is being made out to be. It is a complicated situation that has been ongoing for a long period of time. But if it makes you feel better to try to make me feel worse go right ahead. I am sure you are a perfect person that has never done anything you werent proud of.... never needed support or guidance... I truly hope you feel better........ you are obviously scorned Don't know about scorned. Cheated on, yes. In any case, regardless of my lack of perfection, you are lying to his wife and setting a terrible example for your child. The best support and guidance I can give you is to grow a conscience and act with integrity. It is not a complicated situation at all, although you probably like to think so. You made a decision to have a dishonest relationship with someone's husband. Then, you decided to have a child with someone who is married and has kids. Now, despite the fact that this has gone on for over 7 years, you expect him to leave his kids and wife for you, someone he knows has as little integrity as he does. What type of support do you want other than folks pointing out that you have been dishonest and you've chosen to be with a liar and cheater? Link to post Share on other sites
desertmoon Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Don't know about scorned. Cheated on, yes. In any case, regardless of my lack of perfection, you are lying to his wife and setting a terrible example for your child. The best support and guidance I can give you is to grow a conscience and act with integrity. It is not a complicated situation at all, although you probably like to think so. You made a decision to have a dishonest relationship with someone's husband. Then, you decided to have a child with someone who is married and has kids. Now, despite the fact that this has gone on for over 7 years, you expect him to leave his kids and wife for you, someone he knows has as little integrity as he does. What type of support do you want other than folks pointing out that you have been dishonest and you've chosen to be with a liar and cheater? LOL..best "support and guidance"...after he slams you and makes a total richard of himself....he could have done that before but his cheated (not scorned )little brain couldn't help it but to stick it to you first. Why wouldnt she expect him to make good of HIS promise to her? DID you not expect your wife to make good of her "vows" to you? A promise is a promise, right? Folks pointing? jesus, Where do YOU live? Amazing, some of these people talk about OWs like this, YET, take back and continue to love their cheating spouses....talk about self-respect! Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 If he said look I am going to stay and make my marriage work, I would walk away. In the beginning, I was in college getting my degree and trying to do things I needed to do for me. He supported me through that and we both understood for the first 4 yrs that it was next to impossible for him to leave with me in college and not working. Then for a year and a half or so we were dedicated to figuring out the best way to go about the transition for his children and family in total. Then I decided I wanted to move on because things were not progessing. I told him that I did not want to see him anymore and that I was moving on. He begged me to give him a little more time that he wanted to marry me and for us to have a family... Then I got pregnant and things spun out of control. SHe found out about the relationship and the pregnancy and called me. I confirmed everything and he felt like I turned my back on him and put his childrens lifestyles at risk... A month and a half went by and we didnt talk then we were back together with her knowing everything. He says he is not sure of the exact reason why he has been unable to make the final leap other than he does not want to hurt his children for his benefit (who does)... I am not making excuses for him... I empathize if that is what he feels but I can no longer put my life and the life of my child on hold while he tries to figure it out....I hope that things work out however they are supposed to... whatever that may be... The baby is in a very loving and stable home and he sees his daddy more than alot of kids do. I will only be able to explain to the baby that we were very in love and that he was created out of love in a not so great situation... :mad:This makes me so incredibly angry. This man deserves to be arrested. He stole from you. He stole the best years of your life. Four years of college fun wasted on his man basically committing fraud. He had no intention of leaving his wife. His wife has no clue he is so involved with you. He didn't stop talking to you WhEN YOU WERE PREGNANT because You told his wife. He did it because his wife wouldn't let him talk to you. Then when it's all clear and his wife thinks you're out of the picture except for that pesky check she has to write he's back. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I believe you misunderstood the post. What she was saying is that the OW is not the villain but is usually made out to be the villain instead of the MM. Some in society ignore it some embrace it... The point is pretty clear. But my question for you is do you think it is better for the parents to be miserable for the sake of the children? Is it not better for the parents to be happy and actually inject that happiness in the lives of their children. Kids are not dumb they know when things are not kosher at home. exactly so why has this man stayed miserable for 7 years? He wants both of you and YOU are allowing it to happen. Either dump him or tell his wife again that it never ended so she can decide if she will allow him to live two lives. Link to post Share on other sites
theBrokenMuse Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 society has a huge capacity to ignore it, accept it, embrace it. It is a scary and threatening notion to those of us who cannot hang on to our spouses. Such acts (cheating, or being in an affair) really rarely counts.... I have to disagree with you. When men cheat they are able to come out of it smelling like a rose but women oftentimes do not unless they are celebrities (whose relationships we've come to view as more of a giant spectacle playing out for our amusement than we do a real marriage/relationship.) I think in a lot of cases women who are exposed as being involved in an EMA are demonized by society and even if you think it's being ignored, it's often not. For instance, I know a woman who had an affair with her friend's husband. People in our social circle aren't sitting there bashing her over it or anything but I also know that there aren't a whole lot of women who aren't a bit more clingy with their SOs when she's around. So the decisions she's made has tainted the way people see her on some level regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 LOL..best "support and guidance"...after he slams you and makes a total richard of himself....he could have done that before but his cheated (not scorned )little brain couldn't help it but to stick it to you first. Why wouldnt she expect him to make good of HIS promise to her? DID you not expect your wife to make good of her "vows" to you? A promise is a promise, right? Folks pointing? jesus, Where do YOU live? Amazing, some of these people talk about OWs like this, YET, take back and continue to love their cheating spouses....talk about self-respect! Where's the slamming? Oh, guess I forgot "you go, girl. A man will move mountains for the woman he loves." Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I'm sorry, but I disagree. He didn't steal anything. She willingly gave away her 7+ years to this loser. And I'm betting it IS the W's money. Just because the liar says it's his money you'd believe him loulou? I could be wrong but I see loulou as a young woman who was very manipulated by a middle aged *******. I see her as someone who was very naive and honestly believed him that his marriage was over. He even offered a child to her while married. I think she really believed all his lies. What a waste of a young woman's life for some married man to get his rocks off. FRAUD. He has lied and lied and promised you a life built on lies. Dump him and sue his ass. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I completely agree with this, but for over 7 years? I mean, wouldn't you get a clue after awhile? Loulou, save what's left of your life and lose the loser. Really. And learn from your mistakes and NEVER allow someone to work you this way ever again. Ahh but he promised her a life after she graduated college which is exactly when he knew would be when she would want to begin a new life. So out of the 7 you have four years of college where she's a busy college student having fun knowing he will leave when she graduates. Then he still doesn't leav and he PLANS a child with her and I'm sure when he promised children she believed he would leave his marriage. Then 9 months of a vulnerable pregnancy and then a newborn. Now that the mess is complete with baby and all she's matured and is looking to end it. This guy is a real piece of **** and I wish loulou would wake up and realize what this man stole from her and the fraud he perpetuated on her life. Get angry loulou please. Loulou do your parents know this guy has been married for the last 7 years he's been with you? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Loulou - You and MM had agreed he could not leave and be with you when you were in college and not working. So you stayed with him. When you graduated & he still didnt leave - you told him it was over. He begged you to stay, so you did. Then he couldnt bring himself to leave his children. That was his reason after all of the other conditions had been met and he still didnt leave. He was Staying for the kids. All about kids for this prize. So, oops, you got pregnant accidentally on purpose. (We are adult women here, we know the real logistics) . Not only was this not the expected motivator needed for him to leave his wife - He was thrilled knowing that now you couldnt leave him. And still he stays with the wife he doenst love. By the way, what in the world has given you the idea that someone cannot love two people?? You said he couldnt love his wife and have an affair for 8 years. Sure he could love his wife and someone else! Its just most people are responsible enough to PICK one. For whatever reason - he prefers to be a cake eater. Cake eaters want both so much, they will say anything to keep both - but actually DO nothing. You also mention that the affair itself was not your betrayal of anyone because if it wasnt you, he would have cheated with someone else - Yep. Anyone willing. And I'm positive he would love her too. As far as whether his wife is paying you or he is...know this: He is handing his paycheck to his wife. She is choosing to pay you - maybe so she can control contact between you , more likely so she knows your being paid... Because if you take him to court - suddenly you will not be just someone he is banging on the side - you will have RIGHTS and a voice. I can tell you - she will NEVER miss a payment and risk you taking them to court. Ask her for more if you want - because you will get it. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I still don't get where she didn't understand she was getting played. If a man REALLY loves you, he wouldn't be content to live a lie with a woman he didn't care for for four years. The whole story is ludicrous. I'm no Mensa member, but it certainly wouldn't take this long for me to figure it out. Again. Loulou, LOSE THIS LOSER! lol I totally agree with you but I also think young college students are so vulnerable to these older men and just don't understand the whole marriage dynamic. I think they really believe these men are miserable, they are saving them from the horrid wife and they are truly trapped in a bad situation. It's when they mature a little they realize it's all bs and divorce is an easy solution if they are really in love. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I don't see where she's figured this out yet. Poor gal. :laugh:Maybe I need to reread. I see her as defensive and trying to defend him but I see her as posting to help her to wake up from this nightmare and do what is right. I think she has hope. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 ok so here goes! I have been having an affair with a married man for 7.5 years. At one point I told him that this was unfair to me and I wanted marriage and a family. He said he would leave. Long story short, I found out I was pregnant two months later. We were both uneasy about the pregnancy because he was married and had other children at home. But we both wanted the baby! If you wanted Marriage and a family, having the baby before the marriage and while he was still married to his wife wasn't the wisest choice. Also, I'm not clear on why marriage is so important to you, yet you have been willing to help him violate his marriage for years; and I'm even less clear why you want marriage to HIM when he obviously has no respect for the concept of marriage. It would appear that marriage doesn't actually MEAN anything to him since he feels free to create other families with other women, so what makes him a good marriage prospect for you? What is the purpose of marriage to you? At this point you do not have an honest, faithful candidate for the role of husband, although you do have a father to your child. All you can do is speak to a lawyer and make sure that your child is protected legally and financially. As for marriage, you will be more likely to have that if you dump this lying, irresponsible cheating man and start dating other men and find one who might love you and does not have a wife he insists on remaining married to. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I believe you misunderstood the post. What she was saying is that the OW is not the villain but is usually made out to be the villain instead of the MM. I have said time and time again that the MM bears the most responsibility in the betrayal of his wife. But the OW isn't innocent of wrong doing by any means and most of the time has this "I'm entitled to sleep with your husband if I want to" attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
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