wierdmunky Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 The family was in the kitchen after dropping my sister at the airport to go back to school. My mom asked my brother to close the door that was behind her (literally 2 feet away) and me and my brother (litereally 12 ft away from the door) were talking about something on google earth, he joked, the door is right behind you "lol" mom: "I know, yeah so?" bro: "So your using me..." mom: "Yeah!" bro: "Thanks mom, lol" mom: "Your my son, thats what you use your kids for" lol. That's not the first time she's done this. She constantly asks for the phone, the remote, the everything, when she can perfectly do it herself because all she really has to do is reach. Just seems she is so lazy sometimes, but now she is blatantly honest about why. My friends always say she never watches what she says and that they are cold and aloof to the rest of my friends, and have hurt some of thier feelings. In all honestly I don't think she even cares, and she flaunts stuff like that to her friends over the phone, around us, in a different language that I wonder if she knows I understand, because she always asks me. Why does she do that? Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Never mind why she does things, how do you respond? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wierdmunky Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 I don't out loud, but inside I get into a mini rage about why she would say things like that, and yet ask so much of us in the ways we act. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 If you continue to do, she'll continue to demand. The less you do for her, the more she'll have to do for herself. You are feeding into this as much as she is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wierdmunky Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 How do I respond to her saying things like we should do it because we are her kids. She says it in all seriousness, so I feel like if we don't it will reflect on some kind of level of how much we love, and respect her. If it doesn't really, than why would get mad when we don't. We can't really argue with her because she brings it back to fact. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 You tell her kids are kids, not servants. I don't know how old you are, exactly (I'll check your profile in a minute, in case it says) but there comes a time when a situation like this means you have to look at logic and leave 'Blood' aside. if she won't listen to reason, or shouts you down, then she's not a parent. She's a bully, and just a person who happens to have kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wierdmunky Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 I understand, I just can't see her as someone like that even if all signs point to it at sometime, nor do I like calling her that on here. Maybe it's just a really bad parent tactic? I want to find where the problem lies, if I had some huge play in it or not. Is there anything that I could've done that triggers that now? I also realize that she has diabetes, and works, and is stressed, but she kind of has always had that attitude. I used to always ignore that fact when I was younger, now that I'm older I like to voice whether I agree or disagreee since it makes me feel a little inferior, if I can't even bring things up. I guess I should just work around her known attitude? Link to post Share on other sites
Adri Ana Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Any disease or the fact that she works do not say anything . It is her attitude to others,even her family members , and this attitude is to change by putting her in her place . Otherwise it will only deepen,but never change. Link to post Share on other sites
darkside Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 are your parents Asian by any chance? I've heard of those lines many times from my parents. Perhaps it has to do with the culture they were brought up in. At least in my case, the children are viewed as assets back in the days and of course they are supposed to do everything the elders demanded or requested if they are nice. My father has even stated that he needs a reason to keep my mother I around and that is to order us around like servants. I've learned to ignore him since he somehow believes in the traditional standards of females serving males like they're servants even though it's already the 21st century. I think this is just a generation gap problem between you and your mother, which I think you should learn to accept and voice your concerns if you are deeply hurt at times. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wierdmunky Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Yes, they are asian. I'm TRYING to find that midground where I can comment something outloud without them getting angry. They say some of the wierdest, non-logical things. I don't get how they can live in a world that was so long ago. I understand morals, and their belief system, but they want that old fashioned relationship, and to me that isn't a functioning relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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