I cheated on my bf of almost 6 yrs...here's my story...

[samsungxoxo]

We are harsh because her actions are harsh. Cheating has come easy to her and she will continue to do it.

 

Seriously the guy cheated too triple times, in a way he deserves it. I mean once maybe can be worked out but if your SO cheated many times, ok let's say he/she really learns from it, never does it again but then you do it back for revenge, that's basically you venting out of what you had to put up with. It was wrong what she did but still, would you have sympathy for this guy????Not really......

 

Yes I know, she should have left him long ago but maybe the idea of being in love makes you do crazy stuff, esp. when you're in your high school years and/or early 20's.

[lkjh]

Seriously the guy cheated too triple times, in a way he deserves it. I mean once maybe can be worked out but if your SO cheated many times, ok let's say he/she really learns from it, never does it again but then you do it back for revenge, that's basically you venting out of what you had to put up with. It was wrong what she did but still, would you have sympathy for this guy????Not really......

 

Yes I know, she should have left him long ago but maybe the idea of being in love makes you do crazy stuff, esp. when you're in your high school years and/or early 20's.

 

 

First off two wrongs do not make a right. If someone shoots your child do you shoot theirs? Second she never said she was doing this out of revenge. Third she claims this guy is great, she loves him, wants to marry him, and last she never had real proof he cheated. She believes he did. For all we know she could be wrong. But even if he did, does that mean she needs to lower herself to the type of person she use to hate? The point isn't whether or not this guy deserves it, the point is; she is now making herself into a serial cheater with no remorse. Once you get the ball rolling it does not stop. If she gets use to this she will never stop. 10 years down the road she could be married to a different guy with a couple of kids but she will still be capable of cheating. Behavior is not a light switch, you can not just turn it off. This will stay with her for life if she doesn't do something about it.

[BlackLace]

You guys keep saying that i will do it again but honestly i'm a rare exception to that rule.....the only reason why i did what i did was because i knew the guy very well...we trusted each other and knew that the other would NEVER risk their relationship...i will never do this again with anyone else, i'm not going to sleep around with a million guys....i knew that with this other guy there will always be trust, support, and respect....i would never do it with anyone else...or if that even him again but i just don't like the fact that i'm being categorized as a serial cheater when i was faithful for 5 years, forgave my bf for going behind my back, and found comfort in another human.

 

I know that i contradicted myself before, but i'm a smart girl and i would never just sleep around and cheat on my boyfriend like THAT...you know?......i live in a small city where word gets around really fast, so i would never risk that nor would i want. This other guy was the complete opposite of my bf and we were friends before this.

 

I'm sorry but i just don't fit in to the serial cheater category. had to say it.

[samsungxoxo]

I know that i contradicted myself before, but i'm a smart girl and i would never just sleep around and cheat on my boyfriend like THAT...you know?......i live in a small city where word gets around really fast, so i would never risk that nor would i want. This other guy was the complete opposite of my bf and we were friends before this.

 

I'm sorry but i just don't fit in to the serial cheater category. had to say it.

 

Yea, hard to get a positive feedback when cheating is seen as black-and-white issue esp. those who been cheated on, they tend to vent out a lot. But too bad, they should post their story then. Anyways i dunno, what if he finds out elsewhere or you might leave trail, then what would you do, deny it??? It's afterall a small world unless you knwo for sure one know will tell him nor he evr finding out, but discovery will always be at risk. He migth want to own up and fess up, think he does have the rights to know about it. Just like you forgave him on his infidelities, who knows, maybe he'll forgive yours too.

[lkjh]

You guys keep saying that i will do it again but honestly i'm a rare exception to that rule.....the only reason why i did what i did was because i knew the guy very well...we trusted each other and knew that the other would NEVER risk their relationship...i will never do this again with anyone else, i'm not going to sleep around with a million guys....i knew that with this other guy there will always be trust, support, and respect....i would never do it with anyone else...or if that even him again but i just don't like the fact that i'm being categorized as a serial cheater when i was faithful for 5 years, forgave my bf for going behind my back, and found comfort in another human.

 

I know that i contradicted myself before, but i'm a smart girl and i would never just sleep around and cheat on my boyfriend like THAT...you know?......i live in a small city where word gets around really fast, so i would never risk that nor would i want. This other guy was the complete opposite of my bf and we were friends before this.

 

I'm sorry but i just don't fit in to the serial cheater category. had to say it.

 

 

hahahahaha!!!! Ya you are the exception to the rule. What happens if you get to know a different guy down the road and you two become really good "friends"? What happens if you move out of your small town and you are no longer worried about getting caught? Nobody is saying you are going to sleep with a million guys but it is more than possible for you to cheat with one guy multiple times. Don't fool yourself into believing you are better than this. You have already cheated and you dont care. You are not the exception to the rule. Im not trying to be cruel or whatever, Im just being honest. I have never been cheated on, so I am not acting out of vegenance. This is simply the reality of the situation. If you need to justify yourself then you know you are wrong

[hunkahunkaburninlove]

You say that you will never cheat on your boyfriend again. If the other guy didn't shut you down the other day. You would have been on top of him again. Don't deny it. It has nothing to do with the fact that you "mutually respected one another. And it wasn't about the sex either. As you admitted that tripod was better and bigger. It was also an emotional affair too. Also you are from southern California. You removed it from your profile for some reason. I believe it was Irvine. Small town? Yeah if you can say, that being in a megalopolis from Santa Barbara to San Diego which has a population of 23 million people is a small town. I can see why you are not that convicted about messing around. You say that you will never cheat again. YOU KNOW NOTHING. I have been married for 29 years (no infidelity) but you have already cheated. What happens when 10 years go by and you open your eyes in the morning and think "Oh its you again" What will keep you from cheating? You have already said your love for your boyfriend has faded. You spoke like you were literally being forced to marry him. Look at all the lies your are telling yourself, that have been exposed in this post alone. Get some counseling.

[lkjh]

Blacklace, Why dont you just sit back, look at the facts, and think real hard. At one point in your life you despised cheaters, you said you would never do that, you couldn't understand why someone would do that, and now you have cheated multiple times. Also, you are not even bothered that you did this. You would still be cheating if this guy didn't dump you. You want to beleive this guy was your "friend" when in reality he was not. Do you really think that you are so special? What happens if you marry your bf and have some kids? Are you ok with what you have done? What if you and your future H are having troubles and some guy like this comes into yourlife? You are what you make yourself. You have made yourself into a cheater. I'm sorry but it is true. I know you don't want to beleive it but it is true.

[mr.dream merchant]

If the relationship is at the point that you're both cheating on each other, why not call it quits? Is that a relationship? To hurt one another? Maybe start something new with the guy you cheated with.

[BlackLace]

well how i do stop this? how do i stop myself from being the serial cheater you all claim i am?

 

I know what i've done is wrong but how do i make it right? I cannot tell him i did this.

[samsungxoxo]

well how i do stop this? how do i stop myself from being the serial cheater you all claim i am?

 

I know what i've done is wrong but how do i make it right? I cannot tell him i did this.

 

Carry a small picture of him on your neck and every time you feel tempted, look at that picture and say to yourself how it will hurt him.

[hunkahunkaburninlove]

well how i do stop this? how do i stop myself from being the serial cheater you all claim i am?

 

I know what i've done is wrong but how do i make it right? I cannot tell him i did this.

 

 

If you do not feel guilty about what you have done. I don't know how you will feel guilty about what you will do. There was a way. If your boyfriend wasn't a cheater. And was completely innocent. And you loved him with all your heart. You would have had to tell him and look in his face at the crushing despair your cheating brought upon him. You would have had to watch him break down in an ocean of uncontrollable tears. Then you would have had to look in the mirror at the almost unbearable shame of what you did to the person you love most in the world. It is literally less painful to watch that person die then it is to know that they cheated on you.

 

Now you say you don't have the same love for your boyfriend. Do you want that love back? There is only one way. And that is to tell him. You can choose not to. The secret will be like, if I can make another comparison, It would be like in the days of the roman empire. When a person murdered another person they would not execute you. No the punishment was much worse then that. They would chain you to the corpse and you have to drag or carry around physical burden of what you had done. Until the disease infested body rotted you along with it. That is probably the best description of what the secret of your infidelity would do to your marriage. So it comes down to this. You fess up and deal with the pain now. Or you cover it up until you choke on it. Or even worse your heart remains calloused and you literally lose the ability to love. Is that something you can live with. If you can. Then don't tell him. This may destroy the chance you have with your boyfriend. BUT it will be a life lesson that could completely change you. So that the next relationship you have will be one where you would rather die then cheat.

[lkjh]

Either tell him or leave him. The first time you do something is always the hardest and if you don't have to feel the repercussions you will do it again.

[whichwayisup]

I know what i've done is wrong but how do i make it right? I cannot tell him i did this.

 

You need to suffer some consquences of your choices and be accountable for your actions. Maybe if he knew the truth, you'd feel bad enough that you wouldn't cheat on him anymore. Sooner or later you HAVE to tell him or he'll find out on his own.

 

What if you give him an STD? What then?

 

You owe him the truth so HE can decide if he wants to stay with you and give you a chance to make it right again, or if he wants to end it and move on. What you're doing to him is cruel and selfish..

 

Please get therapy if you think you're becoming a serial cheater. That's not a nice trait to have, especially if you plan on ever marrying and having children.

[Dexter Morgan]

So i'm at a point where i honestly don't feel bad about cheating on him, I don't know why that is.

 

Probably because your bf cheated first. Still not an excuse.

 

 

So i just want to know if theres anyone that can relate to me, or give me advice. I'm NOT going to tell my bf.

 

This will be a marriage that ends in divorce after a few years if you marry him. I guarantee it.

 

That is unless each of you ignore when the other cheats in the future.

[shunter]

I think your relationship is over with your BF.

 

It has gotten a little boring for you. So you need to decide your next steps. I wouldnt marry him, for sure. If you marry him, i will find you and slap you upside the head.

 

For now, you can keep screwing the other guy if you are making your BF happy at the same time. But if you are not giving your BF the same love and attention (and I doubt you are), then you owe it to him to break it off and move on -- NOW. Otherwise, plan a method to amicably exit in the next one or two months.

 

So you now have had two men pump the inside of you. Now that you have gotten over the hump of "one man", it's time to let many men plant their seeds in you. End this six year relationship; it was fun while it lasted; and open the door to the real world and go exploring.

 

Best of luck.

[BlackLace]

But if you are not giving your BF the same love and attention (and I doubt you are), then you owe it to him to break it off and move on --

 

it's time to let many men plant their seeds in you.

 

 

First....I show my BF the same (if not more) amount of love than I ever did . I don't hold back on sex, or give him attitude for no reason, or show in any way that something like this may be going on, now some of you might think that it is a sign of a "good" cheater but rather, I believe it's a sign that I really am still in love with him. It doesn't take any effort to say no or to act like a bitch but it does time an effort and dedication to still be able to show the same love as i did before.

 

Now about the part of letting many men plant their seeds in me.....i can only hope that it was a sarcastic statement, but if you truly meant that then you have no idea the kind of person i am....now i don't blame you because you DON'T know me but I mean, c'mon....i've been in a SIX....one two three four five SIX year relationship and have been monogomous throughout the years of my life that most women are sleeping with several guys...SEVERAL....I however am not one of those. I'm 25 yrs old and have slept with only two people. Two people i have/had a deep connection with and felt that those two people deserved what i had to offer. (side note: hahaha kinda funny ....ok back to the serious stuff)....

 

Don't get me wrong, i've had opportunities to cheat in the past...to give out my number...kiss another guy...the whole nine yards but i had NEVER done any of that until he (the other guy) came back in my life after 3 yrs...I mean it's a pretty amazing thing to happen, and i truly believe that he didn't just want to screw me....we would get into deep conversations and i guess it was as emotional and mental as it was physical. I'm no slut, i don't sleep around, my relationship was on the rocks and i found someone who made me feel right at that moment.

 

I do feel bad for what i have done but i do not regret it.

 

Again, thanks everyone for giving me your two cents. I really appreciate it all.....even the nasty comments.

[mr.dream merchant]

First....I show my BF the same (if not more) amount of love than I ever did . I don't hold back on sex, or give him attitude for no reason, or show in any way that something like this may be going on, now some of you might think that it is a sign of a "good" cheater but rather, I believe it's a sign that I really am still in love with him. It doesn't take any effort to say no or to act like a bitch but it does time an effort and dedication to still be able to show the same love as i did before.

 

Now about the part of letting many men plant their seeds in me.....i can only hope that it was a sarcastic statement, but if you truly meant that then you have no idea the kind of person i am....now i don't blame you because you DON'T know me but I mean, c'mon....i've been in a SIX....one two three four five SIX year relationship and have been monogomous throughout the years of my life that most women are sleeping with several guys...SEVERAL....I however am not one of those. I'm 25 yrs old and have slept with only two people. Two people i have/had a deep connection with and felt that those two people deserved what i had to offer. (side note: hahaha kinda funny ....ok back to the serious stuff)....

 

Don't get me wrong, i've had opportunities to cheat in the past...to give out my number...kiss another guy...the whole nine yards but i had NEVER done any of that until he (the other guy) came back in my life after 3 yrs...I mean it's a pretty amazing thing to happen, and i truly believe that he didn't just want to screw me....we would get into deep conversations and i guess it was as emotional and mental as it was physical. I'm no slut, i don't sleep around, my relationship was on the rocks and i found someone who made me feel right at that moment.

 

I do feel bad for what i have done but i do not regret it.

 

Again, thanks everyone for giving me your two cents. I really appreciate it all.....even the nasty comments.

 

This post is amazing.

[samsungxoxo]

I agree, I was speechless when I read her last post as well, I don't really know what to say but I hope it was a joke post.

[hunkahunkaburninlove]

 

I do feel bad for what i have done but i do not regret it.

 

 

That's OK, you won't regret it the next time either.

[mr.dream merchant]

Just gotta chalk it up as another hopeless cheater ya know?

[Ramrod]

Very sad. Look inside, fix what's broken. I hope your BF breaks your heart...whoops! I forgot, you don't have a heart, all you have is a dark empty void in your chest, because if you had a heart you'd stop cheating, confess all of your sordid secrets to your boyfriend and be human enough to have to suffer the consequences.

 

What goes around comes around, which means, you better duck...

[lkjh]

You are truly a selfish person. You are worse then those girls that sleep around because you did this while committed to another man. The other guy just wanted in your pants and then he dumped you. Six months from now when he is horny and bored he will call you again because you are easy string less sex. If you have any respect for your boyfriend you will break up with the him before he makes the biggest mistake in his life and marries you.

[Miss Ting]

Wow...I've never seen such a large contingency of judgmental, extremely unrealistic and mean individuals lacking even basic sensibility. Who are you people?

 

Cheating is bad. We all know that, so please, stop with all the mean BS...it's beyond unnecessary and so old now. To think, some of you ppl have the audacity to criticize someone else and make disparaging comments about someone else's character...lol. Wow, it's quite comical actually.

 

Moving on...

 

You did a terrible thing. In my opinion, you could very well love him, but not in the way that would result in a successful and happy marriage. You are "comfortable" with him...and it is because you are comfortable and familiar with him that you even stick around today. BUT, complacency should NEVER be a reason to stay in a relationship. You are cheating yourself and it's obvious that you are unfulfilled and want more...even if that “more” consists solely of “seeing what else is out there” right now. With him being all you’ve known, it’s completely understandable and ok. Don’t beat yourself up about feeling this way…just the manner in which you’ve dealt with it.

 

You should break it off with him. It doesn’t make sense that you force yourself into a losing situation. Whatever drove you to cheat and whatever reasons you fed yourself to justify it in your mind, all still exist. They’re not going to magically disappear and you need to deal with them. It’s unfair to him how you’ve chosen to deal with them thus far and certainly unfair to you to keep going along with the relationship when you remain curious. Show that you really do care about him and do the honorable thing and walk away.

 

Good luck in the future.

[lkjh]

Wow...I've never seen such a large contingency of judgmental, extremely unrealistic and mean individuals lacking even basic sensibility. Who are you people?

 

Cheating is bad. We all know that, so please, stop with all the mean BS...it's beyond unnecessary and so old now. To think, some of you ppl have the audacity to criticize someone else and make disparaging comments about someone else's character...lol. Wow, it's quite comical actually.

 

You did a terrible thing. In my opinion, you could very well love him, but not in the way that would result in a successful and happy marriage. You are "comfortable" with him...and it is because you are comfortable and familiar with him that you even stick around today. BUT, complacency should NEVER be a reason to stay in a relationship. You are cheating yourself and it's obvious that you are unfulfilled and want more...even if that “more” consists solely of “seeing what else is out there” right now. With him being all you’ve known, it’s completely understandable and ok. Don’t beat yourself up about feeling this way…just the manner in which you’ve dealt with it.

 

You should break it off with him. It doesn’t make sense that you force yourself into a losing situation. Whatever drove you to cheat and whatever reasons you fed yourself to justify it in your mind, all still exist. They’re not going to magically disappear and you need to deal with them. It’s unfair to him how you’ve chosen to deal with them thus far and certainly unfair to you to keep going along with the relationship when you remain curious. Show that you really do care about him and do the honorable thing and walk away.

 

Good luck in the future.

 

How do we lack sensibility? Is it because we look down on people who completely use those they claim to love? Sorry we all aren't as sensible as yourself

[Miss Ting]

How do we lack sensibility? Is it because we look down on people who completely use those they claim to love? Sorry we all aren't as sensible as yourself

 

unnecessarily harsh and unrealistic...that's all I'm saying.