wing81 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 A girl I met at work and I have been hanging out and spending time together for the past year or so. About six months ago we started to become intimate and doing things most people in a relationship would do but were not dating. I noticed that during this time she referred to be as co-worker instead of friend like she does my roommate. She always very rarely uses my name and just calls me hun again unlike her references to my roommate. However, we always hugged and she would give me a kiss on the neck everytime. We even travelled together and were mistaken for a newly wed couple. Since however, Christmas she has seemed distant and doesn't want to hang out as much. She gets upset with me easily over things that I have no control over. We haven't been able to see each other much over the past month or so do to travelling but I have tried to tell her that I miss her and she blows it off like I don't mean it. The main problem is that I think we are reacting to each other and distancing ourselves because we think the other person is. Is she trying to upset me in hopes of me not wanting spend time or talk to her anymore or is she frustarted with her feelings and unsure if they are the same as mine? Any advice would be helpful, from either perspective. I have a feeling we are both very confused with each other at this point and unsure how to change it. I would hate to lose a close friend over something like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Charles1978 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I think she's probably struggling with the fact that you are her coworker. She probably is also not really wanting a relationship. Her attitude points to casual friends with occasional benefits. I'd treat it like that if I were you. And if she has any feelings about dating you, you'll know it then. You need to trigger a desire in her to pursue YOU, as she has done to you. Perhaps you are too easy of an option for her, so she doesn't feel that she needs to do anything special to attract you at all. She sees you telling her you miss her, etc... which to her, right or wrong, makes you clingy and desperate. It's a silly game we play sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
indiebaby Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 she is probuly just trying to make the smartest choice. the fact is you two do work together, and things could get messy if you go too far. its not a good idea to get too involved with someone you work with, and even a FWB as a matter of fact. she's defiantly on the route of detaching herself. i would have a conversation with her asking her something sime like " would you be more comfortable just being friends, nothing more?". it sounds like it may be a better idea too, so your feelings can begin to subside. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wing81 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Share Posted January 27, 2009 We use to work together but I was laid off a couple months ago. She has become distant but when we talk she makes it sound like she is insterested but doesn't want to be. We probably need to talk further so we can atleast save our friendship. Just hope that she is honest with me instead of talking in a cryptic manner. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts