Unofficial LDR becoming actual relationship

[uRabbit]

So I've known this woman since fourth grade! Longest time I've known a girl and continued to speak to her. We were never really friends. Just acquaintances. Until the last two years or so, when we started speaking on the phone and texting. We were supposed to go out, but before we got a chance to, her kidney condition flared up, and she had to go to Texas for a specialist.

 

Long story short, she stayed in TX. Her parents and sister moved down there. She met a guy and got engaged. I was happy for her. Genuinely. We talked off and on, until her fiance got controlling about her speaking to men.

 

Recently, she got back in touch with me and expressed how unhappy she was. I, being the knight in shining armour that I subconsciously try to be (>.<) begin to romance her gently. She ends up breaking up with her fiance (not the first time) and continues to keep in touch with me. When he begins harassing her, she expresses that she is ready to move back to Idaho (where I am and where she was).

 

I propose to her the idea of moving in with me, and she ponders the idea. She is still trying to save money and is attempting to figure out what to do for a vehicle, place to live and a job when she gets her.

 

Anyways, I guess I'm just looking for a bit of support. I honestly think the world of this woman! She is amazing, and I've always been attracted to her. I am still unsure, however, whether or not she has really, truly committed to moving back up her, and I'm afraid to speak too heavily about an 'us'. We have before, tho, and we have both expressed that we want to be with each other, and she has said that she knows she'd be happy with me.

 

So thanks for reading.

[Island Girl]

Don't be her rebound relationship.

 

If she does move she shouldn't move directly in with you.

 

There's no rush right? She can save money for a vehicle (cheapest place to buy and get a really good deal is the tow yards you can tell her) and search for a job and a place using the internet. It is easier now to find jobs out of state.

 

You really need to take things slow as much as you like her.

 

She was moving forward toward marriage (a lifelong commitment) with another man just a short time ago.

 

I am not saying you don't have a future. You just have to proceed in such a way that if there is a possibility it isn't ruined due to circumstances.

[uRabbit]

Mhm. I was also working toward marriage in my most recent relationship (ended almost two months ago).

 

Both of us are kind of just tired of the whole chasing game that is relationships. We're tired of thinking we know someone and then we end up wrong. So we have been very honest with each other about our positive and negative qualities, what our ex's told us was "wrong with us", etc.

 

We're both ready to settle down and plan out our futures. We're trying to be weary about getting attached too quickly, tho.

 

Thank you for the input.

[D-Lish]

Am I right in assuming you've never even kissed?

 

It would be moving too fast to have her move in with you. You haven't even dated...!!!!

[uRabbit]

Well, I've decided that this is not the best "career move" for me. She's too busy and I don't think she's ready. I haven't heard from her in two days, and - to be honest - I'm tired of being the one to call. So. On I go. Haha.

[Island Girl]

Well, I've decided that this is not the best "career move" for me. She's too busy and I don't think she's ready. I haven't heard from her in two days, and - to be honest - I'm tired of being the one to call. So. On I go. Haha.

 

 

This is why all of us were suggesting to go a little more slowly.

 

I hope you do find what you are looking for whether it is with her or not.

[uRabbit]

This is why all of us were suggesting to go a little more slowly.

 

I hope you do find what you are looking for whether it is with her or not.

 

I think what made me consider her moving up here was the fact that she'd said so many things to me that got my think tank going, unfortunately.

 

I need to stay on guard.

[Island Girl]

I think what made me consider her moving up here was the fact that she'd said so many things to me that got my think tank going, unfortunately.

 

I need to stay on guard.

 

In reading this, I don't know why, but it came to me that she is having problems and that you were sweeping in as her knight in shining armor.

 

Possibly the suggestions of moving and starting a new life there came directly from you...? Instead of a natural progression of the relationship developing on both sides.

 

I have been in that position before where I felt a bit like the damsel in distress and there was that guy there ready to rescue me. The idea was great and I was all for it. Unfortunately in reality it was too fast and too overwhelming. I ended up bolting in a whole different direction.