Thinking of a temporary separation/ some space for my husband

[sweetlonelygurl23]

I posted on this site a couple of times recently. I've been thinking of doing a bit of a temporary separation/ some space for my husband. We've been going to marital and individual counseling. I think we should continue that but I'm hoping that if I go away for a couple of weeks; the heart will grow fonder. He himself mentioned he wished that he could do a temporary one to see if he would miss me and want to get back together. I'm just hoping to set something I love free and I'm really hoping that it is meant to be and that he comes back to me. I've been thinking about this for a short while............... then I'll be fine in my own world and somehow or another he'll catch me offguard and end up kissing me / making love. When he does that, I take my wall down of possibly doing the temporary separation. His birthday is in 2 1/2 weeks and obviously Valentine's day is coming soon after that. What do you guys think I should possibly do??? If I could just find a place to temporarily stay (where that person(s) doesn't take sides) I'm pretty sure I could do this. I just want it to be easy to get back together if we decide to. Do you guys think I'm playing w/fire and should let him decide what we do since it is he that has the problem?? Any advice??

[Nomad1]

Hi Sweetlonelygurl. I am sorry to say that it sounds that your husband may be involved with someone else and instead of being honest with you, he seems to be stringing you along. The language he is using is typical of someone who is involved with someone else. When they say: I want to see if I will miss you when we are apart, it is code for, I am too coward to own up and want to keep you on the backburner until I firm things up with the other woman. Hey why would anyone turn to their partner and say that they fell out of love? Logically, you only question your love for somebody when you develop interest in somebody else, otherwise you would be too busy dealing with day to day life. By all means go off for a couple of weeks, but do it for you! The litmus test is around Valentines day. If he is with another woman who will be expecting him to be there, he will probably pick a fight with you a day or two before that. They are so stupid, shallow and predictable. Dump his ass! Better to be the dumper than the dumpee.

 

Best wishes to you

 

Nomad1

[Owl]

I agree with Nomad.

 

The desire for "space" usually means "space to be with someone else".

 

Seperation typically doesn't make the heart grow fonder...it typically lets the affair run rampant.

 

Do you know if he's seeing anyone else? Taken steps to try to find out if that's the case?

 

After four plus years on this site, I can tell you that in nearly every case like yours that has come here, eventually the poster comes back and tells us that we were right...there was someone else.

 

Do some snooping...see what you can find.

 

Then come back and we'll help you figure out what to do from there.