The man of my dreams may be in love with my best friend

[Allie]

Thank you for your time! I am going crazy here because I really am at a loss for what to do about my problem. Recently I started spending a lot of time with an old friend of mine, E-. Everything is going so well, and she is a really good person. A few weeks ago I met her best friend, C-. After spending a lot of time with the both of them I have come to realize that he is just the type of man I've been waiting for. I don't want to sound like a cliche because I know very well that no one is perfect, but it is truly like he stepped right out of my dreams. Problem??? It appears to me that he likes my friend. She insists that they are just friends and that she only likes him in a platonic way. But I can see the way he treats her and the little things he does for her. I haven't said anything to either one of them about my feelings because I want to figure out what is happening between them, and I don't want to come between the strong bond they have as friends. So, how can I figure out if he is really interested in her and if I should back off or pursue getting his mind on me instead? I have developed all these feelings for a man who may or not be in love with my friend who will only reject him. What a dilemma! Can you help me please???

[Jesaco]

Thank you for your time! I am going crazy here because I really am at a loss for what to do about my problem. Recently I started spending a lot of time with an old friend of mine, E-. Everything is going so well, and she is a really good person. A few weeks ago I met her best friend, C-. After spending a lot of time with the both of them I have come to realize that he is just the type of man I've been waiting for. I don't want to sound like a cliche because I know very well that no one is perfect, but it is truly like he stepped right out of my dreams. Problem??? It appears to me that he likes my friend. She insists that they are just friends and that she only likes him in a platonic way. But I can see the way he treats her and the little things he does for her. I haven't said anything to either one of them about my feelings because I want to figure out what is happening between them, and I don't want to come between the strong bond they have as friends. So, how can I figure out if he is really interested in her and if I should back off or pursue getting his mind on me instead? I have developed all these feelings for a man who may or not be in love with my friend who will only reject him. What a dilemma! Can you help me please???

Hi!

 

You can't do anything about the way he feels. So trying to get him interested in you won't work. And if he is in love with her but she's not in love with him, then the love is one sided. But he still won't be able to just fall out of love with her, no matter how hard he tries. Also, he'll never be able to make her be in love with him. Falling in love is a natural thing. It doesn't happen by trying.

 

So, if you are friends with the two of them, and he hasn't shown an interest in you already, then he doesn't love you romantically. Yes, he can be friends with you and care for you in that way, but the romantic love won't be there. And why would you want to settle for anything less. Lifetime happiness comes when two people are romantically in love with each other. If it's one sided, then one or the other will feel left out in some way or another.

 

Another thing is, if you are in love with him, you'll have a very hard time just being friends with him, because you'll always want more. It's sort of like punishing yourself, and making yourself miserable, trying to get something you can't have.

 

Please try to be good to yourself and let yourself enjoy other people's company also. It is possible to fall in love with someone else. We are not limited to loving only one person. And some day you will fall in love with someone who also falls in love with you. But your chances are limited if you put all of your energy toward trying to find happiness with someone who is not in love with you.

 

Good luck,

 

Jesaco

[james]

TALK TO HIM!!!!!!

Hi! You can't do anything about the way he feels. So trying to get him interested in you won't work. And if he is in love with her but she's not in love with him, then the love is one sided. But he still won't be able to just fall out of love with her, no matter how hard he tries. Also, he'll never be able to make her be in love with him. Falling in love is a natural thing. It doesn't happen by trying. So, if you are friends with the two of them, and he hasn't shown an interest in you already, then he doesn't love you romantically. Yes, he can be friends with you and care for you in that way, but the romantic love won't be there. And why would you want to settle for anything less. Lifetime happiness comes when two people are romantically in love with each other. If it's one sided, then one or the other will feel left out in some way or another. Another thing is, if you are in love with him, you'll have a very hard time just being friends with him, because you'll always want more. It's sort of like punishing yourself, and making yourself miserable, trying to get something you can't have.

 

Please try to be good to yourself and let yourself enjoy other people's company also. It is possible to fall in love with someone else. We are not limited to loving only one person. And some day you will fall in love with someone who also falls in love with you. But your chances are limited if you put all of your energy toward trying to find happiness with someone who is not in love with you. Good luck, Jesaco

[Nicky]

Hi! You can't do anything about the way he feels. So trying to get him interested in you won't work. And if he is in love with her but she's not in love with him, then the love is one sided. But he still won't be able to just fall out of love with her, no matter how hard he tries. Also, he'll never be able to make her be in love with him. Falling in love is a natural thing. It doesn't happen by trying. So, if you are friends with the two of them, and he hasn't shown an interest in you already, then he doesn't love you romantically. Yes, he can be friends with you and care for you in that way, but the romantic love won't be there. And why would you want to settle for anything less. Lifetime happiness comes when two people are romantically in love with each other. If it's one sided, then one or the other will feel left out in some way or another. Another thing is, if you are in love with him, you'll have a very hard time just being friends with him, because you'll always want more. It's sort of like punishing yourself, and making yourself miserable, trying to get something you can't have.

 

Please try to be good to yourself and let yourself enjoy other people's company also. It is possible to fall in love with someone else. We are not limited to loving only one person. And some day you will fall in love with someone who also falls in love with you. But your chances are limited if you put all of your energy toward trying to find happiness with someone who is not in love with you. Good luck, Jesaco

I agree with Jesaco, if that is indeed the case. However, far too often we wander around wondering about and misinterpreting people's feelings.

 

What you currently perceive is what seems real to you (if that makes any sense), but you might be completely wrong. If possible, I would try to talk to him, and find out what's really going on. You only live life once- what do you have to lose?

 

Good luck