Zammo25 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 17 days NC since the split. She has not seen the error of her ways and contacted me !. The first 10 days was hard but there was " hope " that all was not dead. The longer it goes on the realization it is dead gets more and more and its getting harder. I find it hard someone you loved and said they loved you can just dump you and get rid with the rubbish and never want to speak to you again. It hurts hard. How long before it gets any easier ?. Link to post Share on other sites
saturnsfall Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I'm right there with you. Welcome to my world. It will get easier. The timeline is different for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Frankasy Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I'm only 2 days more than you in NC with the girl I truly loved. It got a lot easier for me after the first week which means after day 7. I don't know how it's getting harder for you. Just keep this in mind, if she doesn't care about you than why should you care about her? If you're holding on with the idea of getting back together than it's only gonna get harder. Just see her as a thing of the past and everything will get much much easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Joyvke Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 The 11th day I was finally getting better, then I got a PM and now I'm back to point A :"). So yeah, depends on who and what I guess. I found myself feeling better with my last ex boyfriend after about 3 months. Tho we didn't go fully NC back then. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zammo25 Posted January 22, 2009 Author Share Posted January 22, 2009 The 11th day I was finally getting better, then I got a PM and now I'm back to point A :"). So yeah, depends on who and what I guess. I found myself feeling better with my last ex boyfriend after about 3 months. Tho we didn't go fully NC back then. Good luck. I am living life in reverse. I am existing day by day. Not living, existing, just. I hate to be so weak but I have been strong with absolutely NC for 17 days today. I suppose the fact the person who was supposed to love me and care about me does not anymore and has made no attempt to make sure I am ok hits hard. I would like to say " good riddance " but its not like that is it. Link to post Share on other sites
audrey_1 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I would like to say " good riddance " but its not like that is it. Unfortunately no, it isn't like that. It's all about the silence. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zammo25 Posted January 22, 2009 Author Share Posted January 22, 2009 Unfortunately no, it isn't like that. It's all about the silence. I have massive feelings of abandonement and rejection. My self esteeem and self worth is at 0. I lay in bed last night thinking well this is it me old son you are alone and on your own forever. I diod not care if I woke up in the morning. The saying " it is what it is " sums it up and its crap. Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I am truly sorry for you..and I feel your pain. I have not gone no contact yet.. I will after the 30th...and I am dreading EVERY second of it.. especially when he is being so nice to me and Im used to talking to him everyday for 4 years. Its gonna be like a death. YOU GRIEVE...try to be with family and close friends..people you feel comfortable with. talk about it. Im here for ya. Link to post Share on other sites
Gere51 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Stay strong and don't waver. I didn't think I could do it, but I've been NC for almost six months now, and haven't heard anything from my ex, which tells me she's probably gone for good. I have a good friend that went through a breakup about the same time I did, however, he continued to break NC and he's now back to square one, after EIGHT months! If you stay in contact you'll never heal. Link to post Share on other sites
BigRedBoss657 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Keepg going man. You've been strong for more than 2 weeks. That is a good benchmark man. I would have been 2.5 months now, but I broke it and up to 1.5 months. Even if you just call for friendly contact, you send the message that you're still thinking about your ex. Don't give them that ego boost. I know it's driving my ex crazy by her recent actions. It does get much easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zammo25 Posted January 22, 2009 Author Share Posted January 22, 2009 Keepg going man. You've been strong for more than 2 weeks. That is a good benchmark man. I would have been 2.5 months now, but I broke it and up to 1.5 months. Even if you just call for friendly contact, you send the message that you're still thinking about your ex. Don't give them that ego boost. I know it's driving my ex crazy by her recent actions. It does get much easier. I stated my case 17 days ago face to face. I did all I could but she left me in no uncertain terms that it was over. Since then I have had many moment when in a weak moment which is most of the time when I wanted to call her, text her , e mail her but I have not. I have been stictly NC. In a way I have been strong as I want to come out of this relationship with my head held high. I have not resorted to the flowers, the begging phone calls, the begging texts, not once. I hope it shows me as a mature person and she may be having respect for me for giving her , her siwsh and leaving her alone. I know its over as if by some chance she contacted me I would not go back and subject myself to this again as surely it would happen again. I loved her more than she loved me and it hurts like hell. At least I have my dignity and self respect although it does not feel like it at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 zammo, I know you'll be ok. I'm here nearly three weeks now.................but I was dumped back in November. I"m so glad I found this site. I know what you're going through, and there will be peaks and troughs..................I go through phases of wanting to contact my ex still, but those phases are getting shorter, and the phases of never ever wanting to see him/hear about him/hear the mention of his name are getting longer. you will get there too. patience and keep the chin up. Link to post Share on other sites
awesomeallalone Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Hey Zammo, Im one day ahead of you on the no contact thing so i know exactly how you feel..... there was this day i think it was day 15 when i woke up and i said to myself.... "wow he really isnt coming back".... i spent all day crying and in pain it really sucked.... the morning after i felt better because i finally knew that no matter how much i still care hes gone and not coming back.....i know what its like when the reality sets in just go with it feel it and embrace it after that moment things will start to look up.... good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Alex_M Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 For me, I was in denial that I could get her back (which I probably could have with some fake manipulation, but I wanted her to choose her own way back.) It didn't hurt too bad then. It's when I realised that that was it, it was finished forever then the true pain started. 1st month - wasn't functioning at all, couldn't eat sleep or go out. 2nd month - started enjoying myself when with friends but would still cry myself to sleep. 3rd month - anger, betrayal set in. -NC started here- 4th month - understanding, happy memories, hope she does well and is happy. Moving on slowly. -now- *edit* I wish I had closure. I still don't have it now, no idea what happened. I just understand that she had to do it to be happy. Closure would have made it so much easier, did you get any? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 Counting days makes it even harder, FYI. Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 17 days NC since the split. She has not seen the error of her ways and contacted me ! one way to make you heal quicker is to except she wont ever see errors in her ways. and if she does she wont let you know about it. she lives and learns. just like everyone else. rid of all "hope" and you will heal quicker and sorry what your going through. please stick in there and stay strong x Link to post Share on other sites
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