My ex-gf or her best friend?

[Aric]

Greetings fellow lovers,

I have been quite troubled by this recently that i aint able to concentrate very much on whatever i'm doing. I have broken up with my 1st GF like 2 years ago. She broke up with me on my 18th Birthday. It was a very bad breakup, resulting in a lot of misunderstanding and in the end we hated each other because due to some rumors? Why we broke up? It's also because of what ppl say, apparently my ex-gf is quite receptive to what ppl say. She was the college belle, with many suitors after her however, she chose me this ugly joe to be her bf so tongues just start wagging and eyeballs start rolling. Sighz.. sad but true, rumors have caused cracks in our relationship and eventually caused it to split apart. However, i really loved her a lot. A few months after we broke off, i heard that she got a new bf. I tried to contact her, i guess she also put everything behind and we talked.. Yeah that was when i was just enlisted into national service. So we kinda of keep it contact, i remembered the first valentine day after we broke off, her new bf being a doctor was not free to accompany her thus i took leave and offered to accompany her on my own accord. Well.. we didnt do much at all.. Soon after that i realised i gotta to move on and stop caring about someone who doesnt even care about me.. I tried.. 1 year later, i got another gf.. but we broke off too.. cos she said i utter my ex-gf name in my sleep, something which i dont even know but i guess i still miss her a lot and i asked her not to contact me which she tried to in the beginning and gave up some months later.. recently, i missed her badly and decided to contact her again.. and somehow i got to know her best friend who lives one street away from me. Like her, her best friend is very indentical to her in various way, jus an independent not so whiny version. I guess after that, i start having a crush on her best friend.. That's when the trouble came in, she asked me to go after her best friend cos she can tell i like her, i got all emotional and asked if she ever let go of our relationship. She said no.. she said sometimes she think back whether is it worth it to let go of someone who loved her so much jus becos of what other ppl say. Of cos i was very sad.. very emotional, that night i couldn't sleep.. the worst thing now is i feel like getting her back but she said she cant give me any promises and i'm very afraid of getting hurt once again.. but we jus went out recently and we behaved so affectionately jus like a couple.. i'm confused and her best friend already knew i have a crush on her.. i dont wan to hurt either of them.. i think the best solution is to let both of them go.. i'll be a loner.. guess that's the best solution.. but i really loved my ex-gf a lot.. how i wish we could be together again.. yet i dont wan to hurt her best friend.. it's like making an empty promises by making happy when i told her i got a crush on her.. This is a very bad suitation.. but i think as far as i'm concerned, i'm handling well by talking to both of them daily.. i guess i need some time to cool myself down and asked what i really want... sighz.. any advice would be great... thanx dudes..

[Velvet Eel]

Why not just take it slow and easy with the best friend? Be completely honest with her! Tell her you have a crush on her, but you're still struggling with your feelings for your ex-girlfriend. You are not completely available yet. (You'll know you're available when you stop comparing her to your ex-girlfriend, and really see her for herself.) Let her decide whether to continue to see you. Then you haven't committed yourself to a situation that may not be right for you.

 

I don't think the ex-girlfriend intends to get back together with you. From what you say, she still thinks a lot of you. I'm sure she regrets hurting you. But she isn't saying or doing anything serious to bring you back into her life romantically. You need to think hard about this. She broke up with you two years ago and hasn't asked to get back together, even though she knows you're interested. This is not the girl for you.