mixed signals

[someguy]

Ok, heres my situation... about two weeks ago I get a hint from a friend that a certain girl (who I was already slightyly attracted to) wantd me to ask her out to prom. So, I go ahead and ask her and she says "I'd love to" and everything is good. A couple days later, I get more information from my insider that this girl really likes me alot and went so far as to say she wished i would kiss her!

 

She really only knew me from two classes in school: we never had had any previous contact outside of school. We did start having contact,though, after I started having little get togethers at my house during school nights. I had about 4 other guys over and my prom date and another female friend and we would sit around an talk and goof off, etc. The wierdness started happening when one of my friends(lets call him bob) started getting a litle flirtatious with my prom date. There was physical contact and such.

 

During class I also noticed that whenever we were in a group situtation in school or out, Bob would get a lot of eye contact and playful physical contact while I got little/none.

 

This has continued for the past week or so and cumulated last night. It was this girl's birthday party and the entire time she was focued on this other friend of mine(bob)

 

At the end, when hugs were given out for the presents, everyone of us guys got the same one, except bob who got a big bear hug and a playful punch.

 

My major concen is that she is a very outgoing, frolicky type of person and im way more down to earth, quiet. Bob however is a total goof off who seems to be able to make her laugh at any given moment. Whenever just us two are chatting over the internet though, we seem to hit off pretty well.

 

There seems to be no other major guys involved in her life (excpept my insider who is like her best friend) besides me and bob, and im almost sure that if bob were out of the picture things would have developed totally different.

 

My big question is: What should I do? Should I concede defeat to Bob as far as being a boyfriend goes and just enjoy the prom ride? or should I try to change my ways and be more outgoing to try to get a piece of the action.

 

Sorry thats so long, but this is kinda comlicated. Thanks!

[Nicky]

Ok, heres my situation... about two weeks ago I get a hint from a friend that a certain girl (who I was already slightyly attracted to) wantd me to ask her out to prom. So, I go ahead and ask her and she says "I'd love to" and everything is good. A couple days later, I get more information from my insider that this girl really likes me alot and went so far as to say she wished i would kiss her! She really only knew me from two classes in school: we never had had any previous contact outside of school. We did start having contact,though, after I started having little get togethers at my house during school nights. I had about 4 other guys over and my prom date and another female friend and we would sit around an talk and goof off, etc. The wierdness started happening when one of my friends(lets call him bob) started getting a litle flirtatious with my prom date. There was physical contact and such. During class I also noticed that whenever we were in a group situtation in school or out, Bob would get a lot of eye contact and playful physical contact while I got little/none. This has continued for the past week or so and cumulated last night. It was this girl's birthday party and the entire time she was focued on this other friend of mine(bob) At the end, when hugs were given out for the presents, everyone of us guys got the same one, except bob who got a big bear hug and a playful punch. My major concen is that she is a very outgoing, frolicky type of person and im way more down to earth, quiet. Bob however is a total goof off who seems to be able to make her laugh at any given moment. Whenever just us two are chatting over the internet though, we seem to hit off pretty well. There seems to be no other major guys involved in her life (excpept my insider who is like her best friend) besides me and bob, and im almost sure that if bob were out of the picture things would have developed totally different. My big question is: What should I do? Should I concede defeat to Bob as far as being a boyfriend goes and just enjoy the prom ride? or should I try to change my ways and be more outgoing to try to get a piece of the action. Sorry thats so long, but this is kinda comlicated. Thanks!

Hi there,

 

RULE NUMBER 1: BE YOURSELF!!!!

 

DO NOT under any circumstances try to be somebody you aren't. At the end of the day, the relationships that work are where we are loved and accepted for the person we are. If she doesn't like you the way you are, then a relationship wouldn't work anyway. You deserve to be loved for the person you are.

 

Unfortunately people can be fickle- especially at her age, and she probably likes a different guy as often as she changes her underwear. I wouldn't be surprised if she and Bob get it together, only for it to have all blown over two weeks later. Why bother wasting your time and emotions on a girl like this, who doesn't seem to have much regard for your feelings? You deserve more than that, if that's what you want.

 

So, I think you should go to the prom with her, (it would be rude to back out now, unless you can mutually agree that's what you'd both prefer), have a great time, then move on. All the best.

[Sula]

talk to Bob and tell him what the situation is. If he's a true friend, he'll understand and back off.

 

Talk to this girl openly and ask what's up. I realize this is difficult, especially at your age. I remember it took me until my sophomore year in college to be able to have open, honest relationships. But when you can finally do that, you'll know that you're having an adult-type relationship.

 

Good luck.