My friend got caught cheating, any on him?

[innocentbabe45]

But in all of the stories I ghave read about here and witnessed myself - when a person visually sees their partner in the act (either in person or pics) it is virtually impossible to get those images out of your head. I havent heard of anyone getting over that.

 

I only heard of my cousin's story about how she got caught petting and fooling around with another man (not sex but yikes that's still disgusting), was years ago but now lastest thing I heard is them close to getting married.

 

Now back to my post. As for my friend, who his girlfriend unfortunately walked in on him on his house with the married woman, I don't how he's going to pull that one, but that's hard to work on. I would give up if I was him and walk away, the girlfriend is going to bear too much. Ok so yes he might learn from it as he claims to, well he wouldn't lie to me as I known him for years, but still what about if they see rated R movies where they show couples doing it, yikes. Or how about when enough time passes by and they both decide to be intimate again, I think then she would have to go for it and go on top, I don't know. I like some people here who posted is now trying to help him out in it. I only got introduce to the girlfriend once, don't really like her very much though.

Oh and by the way her birthday is in about 3 weeks from now. So that can be a hint on start to work it out, what can he give her as her b-day gift?

[JennaGennaro]

innocentbabe, I really hope your friend has told you how much he appreciates your help. How old is he by the way? Did you say? He sounds very immature to me or someone with low self-esteem. I still can't believe that he was too afraid to come onto an anonymous relationship forum to ask for advice himself.

 

I'm not trying to be mean, honest. I have been on the end where his gf is. I think she must have pretty low self-esteem to take him back. The fact that he cheated on her in his own house for her to walk in on is just as bad as the poor guy whose gf cheated on him in his own bed (25 feet away during a party) with some stranger. It almost sounds like he wanted to get caught.

 

I think planning a birthday gift for her is the last thing he should be thinking about unless it is his decision to let this girl go for her own good. It's sad really.

[innocentbabe45]

innocentbabe, I really hope your friend has told you how much he appreciates your help. How old is he by the way? Did you say?

 

Yes we do help each other. He would helped me back in my high school days with math and chemistry, that explains how I would not go lower than a B average on it nor get my unweighted GPA below 3.5 but he still made straight A's without even studying that much (fact he was the school Saluditorian, he was only 3 points away from being the first one). He always beat me at it so now I'm helping with on the infidelity issue. He has thanked Dexter's advice as well too.

As for as his age he will be turning 24 on June.

 

Anyways yes it's sad what she has to go through even though I don't like her very much. I hope my boyfriend does not do that to me though, I'm no the nice girl who took my friend back. So anyways yes looks like the process it's going well. i told him as long as he's open then that's how she will heal slowly.

[JennaGennaro]

That's good. InnocentBabe, just curious, but what is it that you do not like about the GF? I am wondering if maybe you are projecting your negativity about her onto him and that is possibly a reason why he cheated on her. I'm not saying you are consciously doing it, but you might be saying something you don't realize or by your body language.

[Lucky_One]

Your friend also needs to be absolutely open and clear with her about his daily schedule, and tell her where he will be and who he will be with. if she calls, then he needs to answer it, if he can. if he can't answer (in a meeting or something), he needs to call back as soon as he can. He shouldn't have any of those old tired excuses of "my battery went dead", "i lost my phone", "I couldn't hear the phone ring". He should spend as much time with her as possible after work and on weekends, to show that he isn't using blocks of a few hours to go hook up with someone else. He can have his cell bills emailed to GF's account, so she doesn't have to be embarassed to ask for them.

 

Birthday present? Have no idea. i don't know what she likes.

[innocentbabe45]

InnocentBabe, just curious, but what is it that you do not like about the GF? I am wondering if maybe you are projecting your negativity about her onto him and that is possibly a reason why he cheated on her.

 

As for why I don't like her, well she reminds me of a crazy gold digger, she always wears expensive stuff, has dyed blonde hair and sometimes is loud when talking on her cell phone plus she's not that beautiful. By the way, long long before we were in high school (as far as 6th grade to be exact) I had a crush on him. I went silent for many years later until before our graduation that I decided to kissed him. However, I got turned down, he didn't feel the same way for me, ugh, so I was not ok with it for a while, I got mad and didn't talk to him for about 2 weeks but then I recover from it afterwards. I still think he's cute by the way but shhh, hope my boyfriend doesn't hear that LOL.

 

Birthday present? Have no idea. i don't know what she likes.

I don't know either but I do know she always wears expensive stuff.

[JennaGennaro]

I thought you might have had feelings for your friend. I could not understand why any woman would go to bat for this guy after what he did. I hope your current BF is a better man than your friend.

 

Yeah, we don't always like the GFs of friends or family, but it is not for us to say unless they are causing harm to our loved one. I don't care for the whole gold digger look either, but it is his choice. I just hope he learns from this whole thing or lets her go, whether she is beautiful or not, she deserves to have a man who doesn't cheat on her.

[innocentbabe45]

I could not understand why any woman would go to bat for this guy after what he did.

 

I don't get it either but my guess is that the g/f is not the aggressive fighter type. If it had been me I would have either slap or punch him in the face before saying ''It's so damn over, don't even think about calling me as I will changed my number and you will be blocked from my e-mails and ims. As far as physical damage to the girl, it depends. If she knew he was with me in the relationship then yes I would beat the living hell out of her as well.

 

I hope your current BF is a better man than your friend.

 

You bet, I'm 0 tolerance when it comes to cheating (not even kissing) so if him.

 

I just hope he learns from this whole thing or lets her go, whether she is beautiful or not, she deserves to have a man who doesn't cheat on her.

 

True but then again, he sounds like he did learned his lesson so who knows, it can work for the better and get stronger. I guess cheating is an undecided issue, some people are second chance givers while others like me are strict at it.

[samsungxoxo]

I do agree also that he should be a complete open book to her. However I got this other crazy suggestion, how about having her screw another man and the deal would be that he has to watched it as well, why not then it would be even, thus a faster way to heal on their intimacy.

[BetrayedLady]

I believe that infidelity can be forgiven and that a relationship can move on from it - maybe to a better place. But in all of the stories I ghave read about here and witnessed myself - when a person visually sees their partner in the act (either in person or pics) it is virtually impossible to get those images out of your head. I havent heard of anyone getting over that.

 

I know, I'm still having a hard time on that one, even when we only kissed (I'm not ready to be intimate with him yet and he knows it) those images still run through my mind. Yet as stupid as this may sound, I took him back.