I'm Getting Married

[Lishy]

OB, if you are happy and know what you are doing then CONGRATS!!

 

I wish you all the very best and mucho happiness xx

[Ocean-Blue]

love alone just isn't enough to make it work when you have major issues in a relationship/blatant incompatibility, this is something i've realized after a recent break up even though i loved him more than life itself, so i can honestly say no i wouldnt marry if there was lingering issues that could present themselves even after marriage.

 

I wouldn't say that he and I are incompatible. Our problem has been communication, from the get go. We are very different personality types, but we are also similar where it matters. This is the only person I've ever seriously wanted to be with - he is compatible with me in a way that no other man has been.

 

I'm sorry to hear your R didn't work out, trubella. We all leave and stay for our own reasons. It's hard to gather the strength of a relationship based on one side. I post on LS when things are going badly. But I can see why you'd think our R isn't working or that we're incompatible. I appreciate you taking the time to post your concerns.

 

The bottom line is, our problems are not insurmountable. We want to be with each other, and so, we'll work through our issues.

 

I think its a very wise idea to consider at the very least doing what my H and I did with these core questions, and if any issues are flagged/raised as a result of this discussion consider formal pre-MC.

 

You have everything to gain from it.

 

sb, this is a wonderful idea. Thanks for the suggestion. I think I will pursue it.

 

He is a lucky guy.

 

I wish you two all the best.

 

Thanks, unders.

 

It's always great to hear someone getting married. I trust your instinct; if you feel good about it, it surely is good!

 

I'm not big on MC so my advice would be that you try and encourage direct and honest communication between the two of you first; this is a key factor in building trust in a relationship. There also several good books on how to promote a healthy relationship/marriage that could be useful to you. All the best.

 

I'm a big fan of talking and trying to get to the heart of the matter. He and I need to work on how we communicate. Thank you for your wishes.

 

OB, if you are happy and know what you are doing then CONGRATS!!

 

I wish you all the very best and mucho happiness xx

 

I do know what I'm doing, Lishy. I know it seems like I'm being haste and just jumping into this, with so many things going on...but as I've said before, I have to take responsibility for a lot of our issues. I may not post about my "contribution" to our problems. It's easier to simply vent and villanize him sometimes.

 

Thanks for your wishes y'all. It's nice to know that you guys took the time to post.

[Lishy]

I think when I read your thread I remembered my best friend, she was with her guy for years and they had loads of issues. She said she was going to marry him as the commitment would make them both try harder,

 

Did it work? What do you think!

 

But you are not that friend and I am sure you know what you are doing

[Shygirl15]

I post on LS when things are going badly

That's what most of us do, so really, past threads do not give a true picture of what's going on in your life. I'm sure there are plenty of good moments you two have shared which you didn't care to document on LS. The good thing is that you have identified what causes misunderstanding between you and you're going to work on that.