iluvspl Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 well i dated my ex for 6 months, we have been boken up for approximately 4 months and she is now dating a new guy for about 2.5 months. We were inlove together and she told me how much i ment to her when we were together like everyone. Once she started dating this other guy we really didnt talk much not online to often and kind of just ignored each other when out with friends. The wierd part is last week she was talking to me online and asked me to detail her car (which i do for a hobby). SHe said she would pay and i said ok so she dropped it off and was being real nice. She came back to pick up the car and had to bags inher hand one had a double picture of me and her on her birthday togther that was back in april. In the other back she had a silver frame for the picture shich she just bought that day. She than cut the pic out and framed it for me and saved the other copy of the pic for herself i assume. I sat there not knowing what to say and said thankyou. Before she left she said she would call me sometime and we should hang out sometime. The next day i saw her at the bar with her gf's and she came up and gave me a big hug, just 2 weeks ago we didnt even tak to each other when we saw each other at the bar, and was talling me how she found a piece from my vacumm in her moms car that i detailed 3 months ago and that she wants to give it back, i told her not to worry. And we chatted and she went back to her friends i went back to mine, she didnt liek the people i was with to much, i called her after i left to make sure she had a ride and her friend gave her a ride and she said thank you for calling and asking though. The next night i went there again with my roommates gf and she was there. She came up and said "excuse me , jason i wanted to say hi and that i have that piece for your vacumm in my car whats your next day off so i can bring it by. She than noticed the girl i am with is my roomies gf and she says "hi id dint realize it was you and they chated and she went back to her bf who she was with and there friends. my rooms gf than said she came over to see who i was with cause she didnt recognize her. Ok and lastly 2 days later she calls me up to help her dad with his new tv he got a few montsh ago hooking it to his surround sound i said ok went over there and the whole time she was in her rom and bathroom cleaning cause of family coming the next day not even really talking to me. I foud that wierd for some reason but maybe she was just getting everything ready. OK people help me out here how do i interperet these things, especailly the picture thing and what should i think. SHe is 21 and i am 24 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted September 25, 2003 Author Share Posted September 25, 2003 anyone have any ideas for me or what they think this stuff means?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted September 29, 2003 Author Share Posted September 29, 2003 noone has any input for me??? Anything would be much appreciated. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Dookie2004 Posted October 11, 2003 Share Posted October 11, 2003 Well man lets see if I can help ya out. Age of 16 here and Ill tell ya how I look at it. You got yourself an Ex who was sending you some pretty strong signals in my opinion. And then she saw you with this other girl (I got kinda confused reading your forum but I think that girl you were with is your roomates g/f, right?) well does she know that this girl you were with is not your g/f? Well anyway she would look at that as somebody else trying to get a hold of you, and as my past experiences show me that when a girl feels threatened by another female stepping on something they want they get extremely defensive and/or offensive towards the male. Maybe thats how she looked at it, maybe shes looking for some reassurance that she can get to you. I think this is proved by her inviting you over again, shes not giving up on you or feeling threatened by this other female. She wants to see you again, shes reminding you of who you and her were once as a couple with the picture. It looks all good to me, but she kinda got thrown a bit when she saw you with another girl. My old ex saw me with another girl and she practically unleashed this jealousy game all over me (it effected me greatly because I still like her and she was trying her best to pull it out of me). I think shes interested in you, now shes testing the waters to see if your interested in her, and by you being with another female she thinks your not. But shes not giving up so she invites you again but plays "ignoring game" (been there with my ex) to see if you will confront her. So now you gotta decide if you like her, but take my advice lightly Im hung up in High School Drama my experiences outside of it are small. Hope I am of some help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted October 16, 2003 Author Share Posted October 16, 2003 Hey man thank you for the response it means allot. To answer your question she does know that that girl i was with is not a girl im seeing she knows its my roommates gf. But since this all happened like 3 weeks ago i havent talked to her since she hasnt called granted i havent been out much to bump inot her out and about and the 2 times i have seen her online she hasnt said anything to me. I am waiting for her to make a move, i know she is still dating that one guy that i mentioned in my first post. I just dont get this she gives me a pic and frames it for me and is really all nice to me for like a week and now not a thing??? I just dont get it. If anyone has any input on this please feel free Link to post Share on other sites
Dookie2004 Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Yea Ive noticed that on my part as well, but anyway, I guess she might be waiting for you, but not making conversation especially online, considering that online talk is practically a very common and simple way to communicate. If I was you, I'd bring up the picture or something, saying "hey, thinking of you got anymore?" something like that. But if shes dating somebody else, I dont know, that could be a good sign its over with. But who knows, give it a shot. I mean what else you got to loose, I know how these games can be difficult Im facing them now, and I especially know how confusing they can be. But in my opinion she was dropping some serious hints to ya, Id just bring em up and say were you trying to get that point across or did I not get it correctly? Then tell her how you took it, and tell her your still interested, and if she says no, well then....no it is, but yes...you know Give it a shot, take my advice lightly though Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted October 17, 2003 Author Share Posted October 17, 2003 Well great advice i appreciate it. But when she gave me that pic and framed it for me in front of me she was dating that guy and had been for like 2 months. I barely ever see her online only 2 times since all this happened. I just dont know why she gave me the pic especially since she was and still is dating the same guy.. Link to post Share on other sites
Dookie2004 Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Now check it out: (By the way thanks for answering my forum) A picture is what? To remind us of the past, she gave you that picture for one thing my friend, to make you remember her!!! There is no doubt in my mind that her doing that much was to get you to think of her, and I think it was successful. Females do everything for a reason, they know exactly what their doing, she was trying to get you to come over to her home to fix something right? Well when you got there she was acting all sadden and ignored you, well shes trying to once again GET YOU TO THINK OF HER, she wants to see you come forward and confront her about this. Thats what I think, its crazy and indeed it is a long shot but shoot for it. All signs you have mentioned are apparent, and the talking on MSN my ex used to do the same thing, just sit there and not talk to me, YES IT SUCKS! But I intiated conversation, no matter what the subject I hung in there, always, try that.....Internet Conversation isint technical in the terms of giving power in a relationship its just casual talking. Look at it like that, signs are everything. And from what I can see, the signs are clear, her emotions blurry, isint love great Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted October 17, 2003 Author Share Posted October 17, 2003 I totaly see where your coming from but why does she still have her boyfriend?? If she broke up with him that would be one thing but there still together. I dont know guess i could talk to her on here next time i see her on but that boyfriend thing still puzzels me. Link to post Share on other sites
Dookie2004 Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Boyfriend = a fall back, and protection I guess you could say? Does your ex sometimes feel insecure about things? Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted October 17, 2003 Author Share Posted October 17, 2003 Yeah she does sometimes, feels like she has no friends. I dont know its just i havent heard from her she ahsnt made any attempt, you recomend going to the restaurant where she bartends and having a couple drinks and talking to her? Link to post Share on other sites
Dookie2004 Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 Go alone of course, get conversation started about stuff, I think success could happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted October 18, 2003 Author Share Posted October 18, 2003 NOw do you think that looks desperate of me going there by myself knowing im onlyy there to really see her. I dont want her to think im desperate to get back with her or anything, its not like that. I do care so much for her but am just confused with her bf situation and the picture thing and her not talking to me for 3 weeks. Oh well i dont know what i'll do maybe i'll stop by there iwth a friend tommorrow for a drink or 2, maybe by myself Link to post Share on other sites
Dookie2004 Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 Establish communication, MSN or a telephone call, tell her you want to see her, and then go by her response to that...its not desperate to surprise her with yourself. She hasnt seen you in a good while either, but this b/f thing does put a dent in it. Maybe you should take a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 Well just an update, today is my birthday and i didnt get a call or anything from her. I didnt expect it but i would of really appreciated it since she use to tell me how she thought birthdays are important. I know people forget birthdays all the time so im not putting to much in on it but this girl just confuses me. I still havent talked to her since my original post. Whos knows what to do, not i. Link to post Share on other sites
Dookie2004 Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Shes thinking your done, shes scared to call. Man me and my ex broke up a few good weeks before her birthday, guess what I didnt call, I wanted to....but I didnt. You gotta take charge. Link to post Share on other sites
Zankon Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 iluvspl>> Ok buddy you and I are of the same age and I ll tell you something, she's playing with you. She wants to see if you still have feelings for her or not. If she came to you in the bar to tell you about the vaccum piece in the presence of her boyfriend, well forget it; she's definately playing you sort of look who I replaced you with. The picture she gave you when you wanted to do her car, it's a bait. You bite - you're gone. If I were you, I show her total indifference because I bet you 1000000000 $ she feels she's flying over the clouds now bcause she's got not 1 but 2 guys interested in her. If you don't believe me, get yuorself a girl and you ll see she'll magically be around you more, call you more often and so on. It's all a game. Moreover, 8 months is nothing man. Be tough be a man cuz girls like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 well when she first came to me in the bar about the vaccum piece she was with girl friends and she came and gave me a big hug and that night she apologized for not hanging out with me more cause she didnt liek the friend i was with. The night her boyfriend was there was when i was at the bar with my roommates gf and she came up to us not knowing it was her telling me again about the dumb vaccum part. Once she realized who the girl was she was like "oh hi crystal i havent seen you in forever we should hang out sometime" Just to clear up the confusion she wasnt flonting her bf in front of me her gf's actually came over and got her and brought her back over to there group (where her bf was) this is the night i was with my roommates gf. Link to post Share on other sites
Zankon Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 well I can see that you're trying to convince yourself that she's sending you signs. But from your story, I believe she's playing you my man. Get busy with something else and forget her... be indifferent and do something with your life Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 well i do appreciate the advice and i am tring to do that, dating other people, but im not trying to convice myself i was just telling you what happened. Everytime she has ever talked to me or been around me she never mentioned him or brough up what they've done. Youcould definitly be right im just confused i like hearing both sides of the story it helps. thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Zankon Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 iluvspl>> see, girls are sometimes weird and you won t understand them. My ex always claimed to friends that she's very happy with her bf. I ignored her and deleted our past from my memory. I convinced myself that all I have is today and tomorrow. You know what she;s doing now after 3 months of break up? trying to see me, call my buddies, go to my favorite places etc. Do you think she ever told anybody her intentions, NO! But it's obvious. What did I do -> I don t know her, for me she;s a stranger. That's why I told you, be a man and ignore her TOTALLY. The other side of the story for me is foolishness. live your life to the max and you ll thank me for this one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 Thanks man i will try that, again i know all cercumstances are different but it cant hurt to try since ive done everything else. I will keep you posted and let you know what happens with this. If anyone else has any elpful words of wisdome please chime in also any info is good info. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iluvspl Posted November 2, 2003 Author Share Posted November 2, 2003 Just an update, I talked to her this weekn and ended up going over and helping hre with her computer prolmes. The whole time it was cool she was laughing and comfortable around each other, and fixed problem after 3 hours. I went home and online i joked and said i deserved a nice dinner and she said definitly and that she promises one but not sure when we can cause of her going out of town and work but she promises wewill. So we just chat online and i notice she is online like every night, not staying at her bf's house who i think she is still with but not sure. Than 2 days later a friend im's me and asked if i asw her web page lately and i said no. I went to it and she use to have a modeling picture of herself on it and i noticed it was changed to the exact same picture she gave me and framed for me. How wierd is that and what does that mean?? Well thats the update and if anyone has any input please reply. Thanks everyone Link to post Share on other sites
ks7997 Posted November 5, 2003 Share Posted November 5, 2003 Alright, let me try here. I am also 24, but female. Let me give you my input on this situation. My longest relationship was 5 1/2 years, good and bad, so when it comes to relationships, I think I know what I'm tlaking about. This sounds like way too much of a game. You are making it so easy for her. Regardless of if she has a bf now or not, she did when she gave you the picture. WRONG!! BF key word here. I don't care if he is her security blanket or not, it's wrong to be dating someone, but still leading on an ex or anyone for thatm atter. You are making yourself way to available for her. If she really wants to be with you, she won't have a bf, and she will be willing to give it her all. It seems a bit shady for my taste, and I have been around shady. You need to have your own life right now. Do what you want, go where you want to go, don't stop just because she calls and has a "computer problem". Saying hello and being freindly is one thing, but framing old pictures of each other is a tease. If she wants to be with you, then good luck on the relationship. But if she wants to, then it should be all or nothing. Not when it is convenient for her. Am I making any sense? Just don't compromise your happiness!! EVER!! Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted November 5, 2003 Share Posted November 5, 2003 Dude..... i think shes playing cat and mouse with you.... which i might add is very common.... shes trying to manipulate you and trust me her giving you the picture.... that wasnt on behalf of a good gesture..... thats a method of if i give him this he'll no doubt put it up or keep it and if anyone else is in his life they'll know or think wtf is he doing with her pic and why did she do that? shes laid the grounds out that you and her used to belong and perhaps in her mind wants other females to know that she has her teeth in you still (sorry may sound strong) one thing i will say is some females are very competetive especially when it comes to past relationships or exes.... no doubt she is still in her relationship with her current bf could explain why she doesnt contact you however she wants you to "pine" over her..... she wants you to make the first move..... possibly to reinforce to you she is currently with someone but she may be the type that likes all kinds of drama in her life. dude shes manipulating you..... be evry careful....... thoe types of females can be somewhat dangerous.... trust me with this one.... Link to post Share on other sites
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