monkophile Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 hi everyone I like to consider myself in a LDR - I have known a guy for about five years now. We've really hit it off, have been very good friends, and have been flirting back and forth A LOT lately. Nothing physical, but a lot of smiles and laughs and blushing. I last saw him over Christmas for coffee. He said he could only stay for about half an hour as he had other commitments, but we ended up talking for over two hours! We kept constant eye contact during our chat and once, while he was leaning forward on the table, he stopped talking and we just gazed in each other's eyes for several seconds. It felt wonderful and odd at the same time. He finally broke it then looked down with an embarrassed-looking smile on his face. I really, really like him (I just cannot stop thinking about him ) and I have a hunch that he really likes me. But two problems - one, I live in Texas and he lives in Pennsylvania. He said the next time I'm home (which won't be until the summer ) he said we could just meet at his house , which sounds extremely open for him as he's very shy. The other problem is he's a former college professor of mine (I've graduated) and he's probably close to twice my age (I'm in my mid-20s). And before you ask, he is not married and not in a relationship. I guess what I'm asking is, for those that have been in LDR, how do you make it work? It seems I have to initiate everything for us to keep in contact (email, phone), but I truly think he really likes me. I'm thinking of asking him to see if he'll visit me during his school's easter break for a few days. I just want to see him again. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 I guess what I'm asking is, for those that have been in LDR, how do you make it work? It seems I have to initiate everything for us to keep in contact (email, phone), but I truly think he really likes me. I'm thinking of asking him to see if he'll visit me during his school's easter break for a few days. I just want to see him again. The easiest way to keep an LDR going is to have an investment on both sides. The ones that break up pretty quickly have one sided contact like you have now. Have you talked about this with him? That you need to see he is interested as well? It's important. Initially you have the excitement that keeps the feelings alive. That is where you are now. However, there will come a time when you are sick of putting all of the effort into the relationship and getting no reassurances. Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 Agree with Island Girl. As for your problems, one is just a hurdle and the other is public perception. The distance can be handled with road trips or a flight. The age is only in how you react to other people's reactions. You are no longer his student and are over the legal age. I make my LDR work because we talk, A LOT. Several times a day. I usually only hear his voice once a day, but will text him good morning and then text or email on and off throughout the day. But part of that talking is being very honest with one another. We both stated early on how we insisted on the truth, and although sometimes it's hard to say exactly what's on our minds because we're afraid of how the other will take it, in the end we come out stronger and more committed to making it work. Good luck, and let us know how it's going Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts