timdale Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 There's a lady I admire greatly whom I've known for about 10 years. She was already married when I first knew her and has grown into a trusted friend. I am also married now and we each have children. I have always admired her, but over recent years this feeling has grown stronger. She has the ability to make you feel like you're the only person in the room. I've never known that with ayone else. She can make everything else just fade out and we just click. Recently I had cause to pass near her house so I popped in to say hello. The delight on her face when she opened the door and saw me there is something I'll not easily froget. We had a chat and caught up with each other's news. "Its lovely to see you" she kept repeating. Part of me sais I shouldn't see her any more because I'm just too fond of her. But after she's been so warm, welcoming, listened to me and prayed for me, the thought of losing her friendship would be devastating. I would never want anything improper to happen between us because of my great respect for her. She deserves so much better than to have messy complications. I think of her loads, she's a wonderful friend to have and I always look forward to the day when I can see her again, however briefly. She makes the world a brighter place. I have read other messages on this site from people who are "in love" with other peoples spouces. So I say to you people, if you really love them. Is it possible to love them as friends without making complications for them, their children, their families, your children and your families? If you love someone, set them free. Link to post Share on other sites
2SidestoStories Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 First, allow me to thank you, sincerely, for considering this woman as a fellow human being, and actually maintaining the respect that she deserves as a friend. It is truly admirable that you admire her, and that the thought of "losing her friendship would be devastating." You seem to recognize that were anything "improper" to occur between you, the loss of friendship would be a definite probability. The challenge in remaining friends with this woman lies not only in your own feelings toward her, but in whether it's affecting your relationship with your own family, and her relationship with her family. Acknowledge that your primary desire is to maintain a friendship with her, and don't give in to the desire to make excuses to see her that may interfere with the rest of your life. Do not go out of your way to enhance whatever contact you may have with her, but instead continue to look forward to the brief encounters with her that you may have. Perhaps you could invite she and her family to spend time with you and your family together, thereby possibly enhancing and enriching *all* of your lives together? By all means, though, if you feel that you cannot control your feelings of fondness for this lady, please do follow your gut when it tells you that you shouldn't see her anymore. Neither you, your family, she, nor her family deserves to go through the pain of an affair, which I can tell that you realize. Best of Luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
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