Why do girls hurt so much?

[Gorilladonkey]

So I guess this place is for those of us who have trouble dealing with our exgirlfriends?

 

My girl broke up with me 1 and a half weeks ago, and I was fine for the first couple days, but things have gotten progressively worse. We were together for 17 months and have been together for just about the whole time, but we didnt live together.

 

I really miss her and I really want to be friends with her at least. Making her laugh was my favorite thing to do. We started having a rough time a month or two ago and then recently we had a mutual breakup, well 75% her 25% me, if that makes any sense.

 

I had to agree with her beacuse I love her and I dont care if its me she is with as long as she makes herself happy. If I had not completely agreed with her decision to break up with me then I am pretty sure that she wouldnt have and we would have kept arguing about most everything and she would have continued to be unhappy in our relationship.

 

It is not that I was happy and she wasnt, I knew what was going on, I just refused to believe it, and tried to make things better all the time, but bugging her about it constantly probably made it worse.

 

She told me that we would still be friends but now she wont even talk to me, it has only been 1.5 weeks so she probably needs time to figure herself out for herself. She is the type of girl who can NEVER make up her mind, and never knows what she really wants, I have come to realize this. I just cant stand to know that she doesnt know about me.

 

I mean, she never will give me a straight answer, and always says I dont know. Thats is the part that hurts the most, I feel I am in limbo. I want to love her and be with her, I am a very loyal person, but I want to get on and get over it if she doesnt. that is probably the main point of my entire rant.

 

Can someone help me make sense of any of this? I would be out with friends and trying to get my mind off of this but since I have been with her almost since the time I got back up to school I have not made any new friends and all my old friends are gone and moved away. I need someone to talk to... dont worry, im down but not depressed...

[belend52]

Hiyaz, i know what your going through, same thing happend to me four months ago, and he kept saying he doesnt know, and yes thats the bit that hurts the most, because you dont know what to think of the situation. I lost a lot of friends because of my x to, and you know what i still want him back.

 

The only advise i can give you is to not badger her into an answer thats were i have gone horibly rong, tell her that you want to get nack etc, and that ull give her time, then try and give her time, try not to talk to her much, be distant etc...

 

I know it hurts realy bad but thats the only way to do it, just leave her to think, and dont ask her this that and the other about wats going to happen, because you will never get a straght answer.

 

good luck, i hope it al workd out, some people just need time, and im sure you do to.

[2SidestoStories]

Sounds like a pretty typical response of someone who has broken up recently. You say it's been only a week and a half, AND that this girl's pretty indecisive. My opinion is that you've got to let her have her space, especially now, to come to whatever decisions she may come to. It is one thing to be loyal and true to a person that really wants or needs that loyalty and friendship, but another thing entirely to someone who may not actually want the friendship at all. She won't give you a straight answer, so you have to take the initiative to go your own way.

 

You've got every right to feel down. You've also got every right to feel confused. These are completely natural responses, and with time, you will get past them. For your own good, which I know is a difficult thing to recognize when you love someone else, you should give yourself space from her as well.

 

Best of Luck!