unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 With all due respect, if you have time to post, you have time to read. 2 years worth of 20+ page threads? It takes a lot less time to respond to a few current threads. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 2 years worth of 20+ page threads? It takes a lot less time to respond to a few current threads. Just follow the current ones. You'll be up to speed in no time OP, to confirm, the dress situation is resolved? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2019402&postcount=84 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 ^^I think she was speaking to me. And yes, if it was with people that he sees often enough, that was a bit of a dickish thing to do. Especially since you really had no other option other than having to endure it. I really do wish that I had the time to re-read everything you have posted, but it seems like an awful lot to do. HAHA, oh it is, my threads get very long as you can see. A few people summarized some stuff but heres a few things. Dec '06-first xmas together (been together about 4 months) asks me to come home with him for xmas to meet his fam. Changes his mind and says it's too soon and he is scared. Goes without me, misses my birthday. (dec 30th). April '07-First Easter together. FINALLY asks me to come home with him. Asks me (a broke student at the time) to pitch in for gas and tolls. I told him I didn't have money, we argued over the fact that HE didn't invite ME, I invited myself, therefore should chip in. Got over it, okay fine. November '07: More arguments about money, big blowout about "who pays for what" He thinks I'm taking advantage of him, trying to mooch off of him, ect. Says he needs a "break" and hangs up. 3 hours later calls me and tells me he doesn't want to be without me and then says "I love you." Then repeats it like 3 times (plus he is crying). We make up, everything is cool. Thanksgiving '07: I go home again with me, asks me if I have money, I say no because I'm still in school. He agrees to pay. Christmas '07: Huge blow out fight about money. I get $500 from my parents for xmas. He tells me that since I got that money I should chip in for gas/tolls because I am coming with him. We make up after several fights. He finally realizes somewho that I'm NOT after his money and he begins to treat me to more things and is understanding. I do tell him that I will contribute more when I graduate. January-May '08: Things are good, we generally get along, ect. May '08: Move in together and I get a full time job. Never argued about money again. May '08-current: sporadic fights over friends (guy weekend), Vegas trip, cleaning. BUT overall less fights then the previous year. Present: current issue, I want marriage he doesn't. Hense fights revolving around that issue Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 2 years worth of 20+ page threads? It takes a lot less time to respond to a few current threads. In that "lot less time" it takes you to post, you wind up starting arguments and cause confusion and tangential commentary because you're nitpicking what would otherwise be innocuous issues that in fact weave in to a large, overarching problem. Link to post Share on other sites
unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 If you're going to bother posting, it's best to make it worth the while of the OP of the thread. At the same time, if I were to have followed this saga from the start, I would have some pre-conceived notions about their relationship that would severely bias my responses. Is it not a helpful thing to get an opinion from someone who has no previous knowledge and comments on things for their face value, along with the seasoned readers? That's a genuine question, I want to know if people like hearing fresh, naive opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 At the same time, if I were to have followed this saga from the start, I would have some pre-conceived notions about their relationship that would severely bias my responses. Is it not a helpful thing to get an opinion from someone who has no previous knowledge and comments on things for their face value, along with the seasoned readers? That's a genuine question, I want to know if people like hearing fresh, naive opinions. I posted the history. Update yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 January-May '08: Things are good, we generally get along, ect. May '08: Move in together and I get a full time job. Never argued about money again. May '08-current: sporadic fights over friends (guy weekend), Vegas trip, cleaning. BUT overall less fights then the previous year. Present: current issue, I want marriage he doesn't. Hense fights revolving around that issue You left SO much stuff out. You're being wilfully blind again. Denial. Link to post Share on other sites
unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 HAHA, oh it is, my threads get very long as you can see. A few people summarized some stuff but heres a few things. Dec '06-first xmas together (been together about 4 months) asks me to come home with him for xmas to meet his fam. Changes his mind and says it's too soon and he is scared. Goes without me, misses my birthday. (dec 30th). April '07-First Easter together. FINALLY asks me to come home with him. Asks me (a broke student at the time) to pitch in for gas and tolls. I told him I didn't have money, we argued over the fact that HE didn't invite ME, I invited myself, therefore should chip in. Got over it, okay fine. November '07: More arguments about money, big blowout about "who pays for what" He thinks I'm taking advantage of him, trying to mooch off of him, ect. Says he needs a "break" and hangs up. 3 hours later calls me and tells me he doesn't want to be without me and then says "I love you." Then repeats it like 3 times (plus he is crying). We make up, everything is cool. Thanksgiving '07: I go home again with me, asks me if I have money, I say no because I'm still in school. He agrees to pay. Christmas '07: Huge blow out fight about money. I get $500 from my parents for xmas. He tells me that since I got that money I should chip in for gas/tolls because I am coming with him. We make up after several fights. He finally realizes somewho that I'm NOT after his money and he begins to treat me to more things and is understanding. I do tell him that I will contribute more when I graduate. January-May '08: Things are good, we generally get along, ect. May '08: Move in together and I get a full time job. Never argued about money again. May '08-current: sporadic fights over friends (guy weekend), Vegas trip, cleaning. BUT overall less fights then the previous year. Present: current issue, I want marriage he doesn't. Hense fights revolving around that issue On the face, it looks like he has undergone some substantial maturing, which is a good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 You left SO much stuff out. You're being wilfully blind again. Denial. What did I leave out? I was kind of trying to summarize. Link to post Share on other sites
unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Personal preference; I would welcome the unbiased commentary. It obviously wouldn't be the deciding factor, but it is always nice to get different perspectives. Certainly better than the yes men that tell you what you want to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Asks me (a broke student at the time) to pitch in for gas and tolls. I told him I didn't have money, we argued over the fact that HE didn't invite ME, I invited myself, therefore should chip in. Got over it, okay fine. He tells me that since I got that money I should chip in for gas/tolls because I am coming with him. That darned Pennsylvania turnpike! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 That darned Pennsylvania turnpike! Yeah it's annoying. Hey post in the other thread guys. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 In the beginning, there was: Is my boyfriend playing games with me? Very happy thread finally!!! There are 121 more threads the OP started, about 10% of which have 50 or more responses. If you speed read, you can likely cover the topical points in about an hour. Pay the receptionist on the way out I think wearing the dress on V-day would be a very good idea, maybe with a rider's crop or something to dress it up. Meow Link to post Share on other sites
unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Fair enough. I've got to go do some other things now anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 In the beginning, there was: Is my boyfriend playing games with me? Very happy thread finally!!! There are 121 more threads the OP started, about 10% of which have 50 or more responses. If you speed read, you can likely cover the topical points in about an hour. Pay the receptionist on the way out I think wearing the dress on V-day would be a very good idea, maybe with a rider's crop or something to dress it up. Meow Oh, right CPA exam drama. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 At the same time, if I were to have followed this saga from the start, I would have some pre-conceived notions about their relationship that would severely bias my responses. As it should. Scenario #1 - you don't know the history, so all you see is this: "My boyfriend called me a b*tch during a fight." Your response? "Well, it was probably in the heat of the moment, he deserves another chance." Scenario #2 - where you know the entire history, so what you now see is this: "After 2.5 years of his controlling behavior (everything from money, to how I clean, and what activities we do), intimacy issues (weird issues with sex), gamesmanship (leading me on about a proposal), selfishness (putting his friends first, kicking me out of the house), and immaturity, my BF called me a b*tch for the tenth time." Your response? "Well, clearly you're not compatible, and he's being totally unreasonable. You should rethink whether to stay in this relationship." Which piece of advice is based on the situation the poster is actually experiencing? Obviously, the second one, as it takes the totality of the circumstances into consideration. Also, in the very beginning I was almost always on LB's BOYFRIEND's side. Why? Because it was the beginning, so I was looking at those issues in a vacuum, the way you are. Now that the entire relationship has played out over 2+ years, I know better. Link to post Share on other sites
unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Alright, I get the point. I won't give my advice to her anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 As it should. Scenario #1 - you don't know the history, so all you see is this: "My boyfriend called me a b*tch during a fight." Your response? "Well, it was probably in the heat of the moment, he deserves another chance." Scenario #2 - where you know the entire history, so what you now see is this: "After 2.5 years of his controlling behavior (everything from money, to how I clean, and what activities we do), intimacy issues (weird issues with sex), gamesmanship (leading me on about a proposal), selfishness (putting his friends first, kicking me out of the house), and immaturity, my BF called me a b*tch for the tenth time." Your response? "Well, clearly you're not compatible, and he's being totally unreasonable. You should rethink whether to stay in this relationship." Which piece of advice is based on the situation the poster is actually experiencing? Obviously, the second one, as it takes the totality of the circumstances into consideration. Also, in the very beginning I was almost always on LB's BOYFRIEND's side. Why? Because it was the beginning, so I was looking at those issues in a vacuum, the way you are. Now that the entire relationship has played out over 2+ years, I know better. HAHA, nice! I do have a ton of threads though and he's new so I see that he doesn't know the whole story like everyone else. He probably wouldn't be defending him if he did. Link to post Share on other sites
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