Why do women try to destroy men with their enigmatic behavior?

[Rienmann]

I'm not very good at discussing problems but here goes.

 

I am fairly shy and do not like people in general. I have been in a relationship for over a year and it was going, well. My Ex. Always played games on me (ie. wanting to break up then get back together a few days later). I got fed up of this behaviour and the last time she broke up with me I left. I talked to her a month later, and she said she did not want to be my friend as we had nothing in common.

 

A year and a half has gone by. I have noticed girls interested in me, but they act as though they don't (ie. There always staring at me, they will sit within eye shot of me, and some will even poistion themselves in front of me). If I look at them they look away and so forth.

 

So several months ago I decided never to date again. I have gone to great lenghts to avoid human interaction. Despite this there was one girl at my school who persisted in interfering with my life. She was always staring at me, everytime I walked by. I cracked and sent her an email. She then stated that I must have made a mistake because she was in a relationship, but if I wanted I could talk to her when I saw her. Thus I purposely avoided her the rest of the year. I did not solicit this unwanted attention, yet she made a fool out of me.

 

This has made me very mad. I feel that with each passing day the hatred inside me grows. I have become intolerant of others. I have shut everything out of my life. I am slowly becoming evil. I no longer have any need for other people. Yet, after all this time my hate is becoming so powerful that I will no longer tolerate bull**** of any kind, from anyone.

 

My question is why do women try to destroy men, with their enigmatic behavior?

[NEONINK]

hmmmm.... women are always staring at you?

 

Well, that could be for a couple of reasons. You are extremely handsome and remind them of some lovelorn celebrity or you have horns growing from your temples?

 

Well, either you look like a member of the cast of Friends or look like you eat Friends for dinner...

 

Please don't become antisocial because some dumb woman wasn't ready to "settle down" yet. Love makes the world go round, but you just can't force it. Be cool, be you, and enjoy every day of your life. Laugh a lot, and smile when you make eye contact.

[NEONINK]

Read further posts on this site...

 

there are a great many women who have had their hearts ripped out and are sad and depressed and lonely.

 

it happens to even the best of us.

 

nobody ever said life would be a bed of roses. sometimes you have to pick through the thorns. but as long as you remain angry at women or life or whatever, you keep people at bay.

 

i dare say, everyone on this site, at your school, and everyone you meet in passing has had some years that are harder than others. it's called growing pains. and they hurt. you will feel better. man used to run from dinosaurs and chase down his food, now we sit in little buildings waiting for school to let out or the 5 o'clock time. get out and build upon yourself. let loose some of this pent up energy and anger by running, lifting weights or something.

 

good luck dude... if everybody just tried to make the world a little better, what a difference we would make.

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "My question is why do women try to destroy men, with their enigmatic behavior?"

 

Woman cannot destroy you, you can only do that yourself and it seems you're doing a pretty good job of it. Take some power back into your life and smell the roses. Now if you can't take a little rejection and insanity here and there, not only should you not consider dating again but you should think seriously about moving to another planet.

[iceprincess]

Wow, what a powerful story. You shouldn't put women into one category, but I understand that you're full of hate right now, so I forgive you. Some women ARE like that, but not all of us. Maybe you're just reading too much (or not enough) into the looks that women are giving you. Why don't you experience with several different girls....and see how things go. Try meeting other girls and being friends with some of them. You don't always have to hook up with the girls that you hang out with. Don't shut yourself up to the world because that's just going to hurt you even more.

[HokeyReligions]

Aha! You are on to our evil plot to destroy the minds of men! We want your muscles and care not for your feelings!

 

And, uh, dinosaurs and men never coexisted on the planet - separated by millions of years.

 

--------------------

 

Okay. I didn't put smiley faces or bouncing rabbits above. Most people know that I'm kidding around and being faceitious. You don't know me and may have interpreted the above a bit differently.

 

Women will see you the way you see yourself and if you are filled with anger and hate the women you attract to you will also be that way, or they will be co-dependent types who want to "fix" you so that you can be happy.

 

Don't swear off of dating or girls just yet. Instead try being yourself and hang out with friends and if you find youself talking with a girl - talk with the person not the sex. Allow the emotions and ignore the confusion - you'll never find an answer that applies to everyone.

[moimeme]

My question is why do women try to destroy men, with their enigmatic behavior?

 

They don't. It appears that you are interpreting their actions incorrectly and that you are having inappropriate reactions to what you believe their behaviour is. It is not normal to shun your peers. People who do not develop appropriate peer relationships, particularly at your age, are in danger of developing serious disorders. You need professional help and you need it now.

 

There always staring at me, they will sit within eye shot of me, and some will even poistion themselves in front of me). If I look at them they look away and so forth.

 

I suspect they are not 'staring at you' at all. Some folks misinterpret the actions of others around them.

 

I have gone to great lenghts to avoid human interaction. Despite this there was one girl at my school who persisted in interfering with my life. She was always staring at me, everytime I walked by.

 

She probably just looked at you. This in no way constitutes 'interfering' in your life and that you interpret it this way indicates that you have issues

 

Thus I purposely avoided her the rest of the year. I did not solicit this unwanted attention, yet she made a fool out of me.

 

All she did was look at you. When you mistakenly interpreted her actions toward you, she corrected your mistake. Nobody made a fool out of anybody.

 

This has made me very mad. I feel that with each passing day the hatred inside me grows. I have become intolerant of others. I have shut everything out of my life. I am slowly becoming evil. I no longer have any need for other people. Yet, after all this time my hate is becoming so powerful that I will no longer tolerate bull**** of any kind, from anyone.

 

I could not be more serious about this, and this is no matter for jokes or lightness. Get to a psychologist now. If you are in school, go to the counsellor. Take your letter if you don't want to talk about this. You need help. You can have a full, rich, and happy life but you must get help now because you are in deep trouble from the sounds of it.

[NEONINK]

ok... so caveman co-existed with decendents of dinosaurs... croc's and horseshoe crabs...

 

Btw... I found a neat picture of the '77 find mentioned below for anyone interested.

 

http://students.ou.edu/E/Justina.A.Ee-1/dino.html

 

In 1977 a Japanese fishing boat was fishing off the coast of Christchurch, New Zealand. On April 10, the crew pulled in a net from 900 feet underwater. Suddenly thei eyes bulged out. They couldn’t believe what they saw! It was a huge, decaying underwater creature, such as they had never seen before.

 

They weighed and measured the huge creature. It was 32 feet long and weighed in at two tons. It had four fins, each about three feet long. It had a five-foot neck and a six-foot tail. All the evidence, including tissue samples, indicated it was one of the great marine reptiles of ancient times – the Plesiosaurus!

 

 

 

And Rienmann, to be more specific, man is about 3.5 million years old... Life happens, but it gets better the older and wiser you get.

[maskee28]

I have noticed girls interested in me, but they act as though they don't (ie. There always staring at me, they will sit within eye shot of me, and some will even poistion themselves in front of me). If I look at them they look away and so forth.

 

The original poster here reminds me of a friend I used to have, they appear to have similar tendencies in that both seem to read a lot more into situations than they should...

 

This guy that I knew, for example, seemed to think just about every female he crossed paths with was interested in him. Once, at a restaurant, the waitress was taking someone's order next to us and I guess she looked at my friend, and as she walked away he was like "Wow, did you see that? What a slut!" All because she looked at him.....?

 

It was like he had this really inflated opinion of himself, thinking all women who caught sight of him wanted him. And yet the entire time I knew him he remained single. Hmmm....wonder why....

[moimeme]

Studies of paranoid people show that they actually misinterpret what they see. They actually think that people are looking at them and talking about them. The brain is a fascinating little machine.

[Rienmann]

Listen moimeme. I too have studied psychology. I did not say EVERY woman was staring at me. Theres just a FEW who do it ALL the time. I'm not paranoid, you on the other hand have probably read a first year introduction to psychology text book and think you have figured out the secrets of the human psyche. Listen, psychologists study psychology because they don't enjoy the world and this gives them an objective view point that allows them to distance themselves emotionally.

 

I was honest with you, and you tried to put me down assuming that you knew what you were saying but really you were just basing your comments on assumptions.

If you want to give me your personal opion and not you UNCREDITED psychological opion, perhaps I'll listen to you.

 

By the way, I will never go to a shrink or pyschologist. I'm not nuts, I just perfer my solitude.

 

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from medicore minds" Albert Einstein

[Rienmann]

By the way moimeme, When you reference a STUDY. Before you quote the findings you must make a viable reference and explain the sample set of people you investigated and the statistics you used to say "Studies of ... people show ... characterisctics".

 

Otherwise, your just feeding us Bull****.

[moimeme]

Fine. You're doubtless a wonderful human; the soul of loving kindness and people, sensing that, are compelled to stare in wonder. Think what you will, you will anyway. I will not, however, stand down from my point that your attitude to others is overly hostile and blaming 'women' for trying to 'destroy men with their enigmatic behaviour' does not bespeak the product of a rational or logical mind. Take Tony's advice, which is excellent, and don't bother yourself about what I (a woman!) might think. After all, I'm one of 'them'.

[Clancy]

Rienmann, you said this about yourself: " This has made me very mad. I feel that with each passing day the hatred inside me grows...I am slowly becoming evil. "

 

How evil do you see yourself becoming before you admit that perhaps your difficulties are coming from within you?

[jalexy]

reinmann, i do not understand ppl like you. that is why i choose happiness and not some poor lame excuse of a lifestyle that you choose. moimeme is right, you do need some counseling. needing people is a natural thing- we start it at birth. so you might want to reconsider yourself.

[gocubsgo]

do you hate only women, or all people?

 

i get the feeling you are just mad at the world and not just about women

being "enigmatic".

 

who ISN'T enigmatic?

 

if you were friendly and outgoing instead of brooding and hateful, you would draw people to you like flies.

 

you act like you don't want any interaction with anyone, but i think it's what you want more

than anything!

 

i'm not trying to psychoanalyze you so don't get upset.

but, man, you said some scary stuff!

serial killer talk!

 

maybe you need to look for someone who has the same interests as you (you stated you had nothing in common

with your ex).

and by interests, i don't mean general dislike and intolerance of other people!

i'll tell you though, you'll never attract anyone with those evil thoughts.

 

stop trying to figure women out and just enjoy them.

lighten up.

if someone is "staring" at you, smile at her! if she looks away, who cares? if she smiles back, great!

but don't read into it for crying out loud! maybe you have spinach in your teeth! maybe she thinks you look

like someone she knows, etc.

just curious:

what did you say to that girl in your email?

was it creepy? thoughtful?

 

it's all about how you present yourself. and if you are the hottest guy in the world but act like a nutjob, you're

gonna get rejected. over and over.

 

good luck and i hope we don't see you on the news!

[tackleboxteddybear]

Originally posted by Rienmann

I'm not very good at discussing problems but here goes.

 

I am fairly shy and do not like people in general. I have been in a relationship for over a year and it was going, well. My Ex. Always played games on me (ie. wanting to break up then get back together a few days later). I got fed up of this behaviour and the last time she broke up with me I left. I talked to her a month later, and she said she did not want to be my friend as we had nothing in common.

 

A year and a half has gone by. I have noticed girls interested in me, but they act as though they don't (ie. There always staring at me, they will sit within eye shot of me, and some will even poistion themselves in front of me). If I look at them they look away and so forth.

 

So several months ago I decided never to date again. I have gone to great lenghts to avoid human interaction. Despite this there was one girl at my school who persisted in interfering with my life. She was always staring at me, everytime I walked by. I cracked and sent her an email. She then stated that I must have made a mistake because she was in a relationship, but if I wanted I could talk to her when I saw her. Thus I purposely avoided her the rest of the year. I did not solicit this unwanted attention, yet she made a fool out of me.

 

This has made me very mad. I feel that with each passing day the hatred inside me grows. I have become intolerant of others. I have shut everything out of my life. I am slowly becoming evil. I no longer have any need for other people. Yet, after all this time my hate is becoming so powerful that I will no longer tolerate bull**** of any kind, from anyone.

 

My question is why do women try to destroy men, with their enigmatic behavior?

 

we wont ever truely understand them nor will they undersatnd us.

 

I feel the same way u do most the time but im tryin to go beyond it & ignore it going on with my share lifestyle of being everso antisocial/shy & not giving a $hitnickicky bout how others percieve me.

 

Dunno y there are all these games in courting a woman but quite frankly they are very annoying & immature even with the ones round my age 23.Though I know not all are like usor them woman have their own complaints bout us.

[Jim24]

"He who belives that he is fighting monsters must be careful not to become a monster, for as you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes into you..."

 

The same thing happened to me, a while ago. I liked this girl for three years and when she turned me down I was devastated. I used to fake sick to stay home from school and lock myself in my room so I wouldn't have to see anybody at all. The only person outside my family whom I talked to was an old friend who didn't go to my school. I too shunned human contact, and for a while I became sort of evil as well, believing I was somehow superior to all other human beings. But then people who were my friends and who were concerned reported me to the counselor, and when I was told everything I did from someone else it felt entirely different. I felt ashamed, and I swore to find some way to regain the happiness I had before. Dude, psychologists help. And I'm telling you right now that I'm not sure where I would be if my friends hadnt reported me. Don't let hatred eat you from the inside out. I did, and though I felt a sense of power, I knew I was living a false life during that time and was not being who I really was. Go see someone, or if you are downright against it talk to a friend youve known for a long time. There is always one person you can talk to in your anger. Also, when you are shy, angry and lonely, it pays to help someone else. That's why I first posted advice on this forum, because I felt it would help me to feel better and improve my life, and it has. But don't let this "anti-social" anger destroy you, because if and when you discover the full effects of your actions, you will wonder why you've wasted two years of your life wishing you were the only one on the face of the Earth. Besides, how will humanity ever like you if you don't look and act likable yourself? If you had to look back upon your life, what would you want to remember? People staring at you with admiration, or people staring at you in fear?

[Jim24]

If you're wondering what I did when I was feeling angry then, I said some stuff I didn't mean to say to a lot of people just trying to be nice. It took a long time for them to get over it, and if you continue to act as I did, you will just loose friends.

[jenny]

babies,

 

i'm confused by your enigmatic behaviour. i understand you are hurting. and angry. can you help me understand more so i can think about the situation and give you a thoughtful response? it's hard to formulate real answers to a generalized question like the evil nature of women...

 

so let's start all over. what exactly happened with your ex-girlfriend?

 

sincerely, j

[Soop]

Originally posted by Jim24

"He who belives that he is fighting monsters must be careful not to become a monster, for as you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes into you..."

 

The same thing happened to me, a while ago. I liked this girl for three years and when she turned me down I was devastated. I used to fake sick to stay home from school and lock myself in my room so I wouldn't have to see anybody at all. The only person outside my family whom I talked to was an old friend who didn't go to my school. I too shunned human contact, and for a while I became sort of evil as well, believing I was somehow superior to all other human beings. But then people who were my friends and who were concerned reported me to the counselor, and when I was told everything I did from someone else it felt entirely different. I felt ashamed, and I swore to find some way to regain the happiness I had before. Dude, psychologists help. And I'm telling you right now that I'm not sure where I would be if my friends hadnt reported me. Don't let hatred eat you from the inside out. I did, and though I felt a sense of power, I knew I was living a false life during that time and was not being who I really was. Go see someone, or if you are downright against it talk to a friend youve known for a long time. There is always one person you can talk to in your anger. Also, when you are shy, angry and lonely, it pays to help someone else. That's why I first posted advice on this forum, because I felt it would help me to feel better and improve my life, and it has. But don't let this "anti-social" anger destroy you, because if and when you discover the full effects of your actions, you will wonder why you've wasted two years of your life wishing you were the only one on the face of the Earth. Besides, how will humanity ever like you if you don't look and act likable yourself? If you had to look back upon your life, what would you want to remember? People staring at you with admiration, or people staring at you in fear?

 

I know that post wasn't towards me, but reading it has helped me realize some certain things.. for example today i was in a very bad mood with everybody (what i consider to be my usual self) then as i was walking out of a class room in college a girl was entering the room and i held the door open for her (if i had of just let the door shut it would of hit her), this was very unlike me and to be honset i'm not to sure what processed me to hold the door for her, but when she turned to me and said 'thanks' i just felt somewhat nice, i dunno it was just strange...

 

Due to my mind set if i would of looked at that situation in advanced i would of 'seen' in my mind that she would of just been annoyed at me or something, like i was being really dodgy and in some strange way 'wrong' for being nice to someone, at the very least i would of seen her in one way or another making fun of me.

 

If anything, you've made me realize that perhaps just doing little things to be nice to others would actually help me change my ways, of course you can't do a 180 change just like that... but i am going to set myself a small task of doing nice things for others (especially to girls, since for some reason thats where most of my anger lays (and shyness)) like i meantioned above for a fews time per day.

 

Anyway sorry about that, in the wrong thread to speak about my life

 

Soop

[moimeme]

Awesome, Soop!

 

Not everyone might receive your acts of kindness with grace; some people are not good with that sort of thing - but don't let that stop you. You'll find people appreciate your being nice to them, even when you're ticked. It's an old saying but true that you 'catch more flies with honey than with vinegar'.

 

Back when I was a receptionist, I used to make it my personal goal to have every customer leave me smiling, no matter how grumpy they were when they arrived. It worked about 99.9% of the time!

[Jim24]

Im glad my information was of some help, I just hope the guy that started this thread reads it too.

[LadyX]

And all this time I thought it was the mens fault!

 

I think males and females have an equal part in the downfall of "The Relationship"

[Rienmann]

I appoligize for two reasons; one of which was my inability to fully explain the circumstances, and the other was for acting hostile. It's just that I produce my best work when I'm alone. It is important for me to pass through this time of penitence, no matter the cost. I have lived many lifes perparing for this one. Yet I will admit that for quite some time it has been difficult. If I am strong enough to pass through this time of trial and suffering I will be rewarded gloriously.

 

In reference to your previous statement, you implied that I did not behave using logic or ration? Well, I must ask, in your mind what would be logic and ration? Most likely your would chose the path most traveled and not the high road with it's steep edges and unforgiving enviroment, most likely because it never occurred to you to challenge the status quo. If we do not distinguish ourselves, our lives are trivial and meaningless. You live, you die, and then you are forgotten. Love is important to life, I will concede that argument. But, Love is only a complement, it cannot make up for a lack of character or meaning, it can merely improve on what is present. When it is time I will become involved with people again; a select few I chose, but I will change. Seeing that the only thing constant in this life is change.

 

"I live in that solitude which is painful in youth,

 

but delicious in the years of maturity." Albert Einstein