PandorasBox Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 My friend is not a memeber here although I asked her to sign up, she said she would think about it...in the mean time here is my question for her. She has been married for 12 years and they have two kids. One that is 10 and a baby that is 8 months old. She told me that since her baby was born she has had sex with her husband one time, and that she doesn't feel right just yet. She had a hard delivery and was just scared. Of course, her doctor did tell her it was ok and things were on go and no reason she couldn't, it was up to her. The question is, she is wondering if he is really ok with the fact they haven't had sex like he would like. She said he hasn't really complained about it, and acts as if its not a big deal to him. He has told her he is ok with it but she said she didn't know if he was just saying that to be nice or what. Anyway she said he is not one to "take care of business " by himself and he has told her before he doesn't care for that. He did cheat about a year after they were married but hasn't since and she said has shown no signs that he has. They worked throught things in marriage counseling. I think she feels since he isn't getting any from her right now she was wondering if its possible alot of men can wait and do wait until the wives feel more ready after having a baby. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 They haven't had sex, but have they fooled around? Had any kind of closeness and intimacy in bed? Their relationship, in and out of bed is important - So if she isn't feeling sexual yet, then they need to talk about it, or she needs to atleast try to connect with him, spend alone time together, get a sitter and go to dinner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PandorasBox Posted January 27, 2009 Author Share Posted January 27, 2009 She said they do kiss and cuddle and of course he tries to put the moves on her but, she said as far as actual intercourse, they haven't had any of that but once. Its not that she doesn't feel close to him or anything its more of the physical side of things for her with not being ready sexually. They have talked about it and she said even though he seems a little disappointed, he doesn't seem overly frustrated about it. She sdaid she should consider herself lucky he feels that way but at the same time she is wondering if that is to good to be true. I mentioned something about them being alone and going to dinner or even staying at home I even offered to watch her kids for a bit. She said they will at some point but thats really all she has said on that. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 He may not openly seem disappointed, but he is. As time goes on, his disappointment may turn to resentment, then old habits may reform, (if you know where I'm going with this). It seems somewhat normal that after a pregency, a woman's sex drive is diminished. Most husbands understand this. Sometimes it returns, but in instances like my wife's, it doesn't. Marriages sometimes require doing things you don't particularly enjoy, in order to make your mate happy. I do this everyday. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and take one for the team. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PandorasBox Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 He may not openly seem disappointed, but he is. As time goes on, his disappointment may turn to resentment, then old habits may reform, (if you know where I'm going with this). It seems somewhat normal that after a pregency, a woman's sex drive is diminished. Most husbands understand this. Sometimes it returns, but in instances like my wife's, it doesn't. Marriages sometimes require doing things you don't particularly enjoy, in order to make your mate happy. I do this everyday. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and take one for the team. Well I do know from what she has told me before,there wasn't a whole lot of sex even before they had kids. Due to lots of issues and there was already some resentment on both parts there. She did say when they decided to have this other baby, she wanted it alot because she was trying to conceive, but then it kind of went back to the way it was. From her own doing, not his. she has told me that alot has changed over the past few years and they have worked through some of their issues, maybe this is one she isn't willing to really work on. Link to post Share on other sites
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