Cheating

[Sweetie]

I am 17 years old and I was dating a 19 year old guy for about 11 months.

 

We were not exclusive but our relationship was getting serious until he

 

recently found out from his bestfriend that I had sex with his cousin. He

 

knows that I really care about him and I would do anything for him. Being the

 

fact that we were not exclusive and he was also having sex with other

 

people, is there a possibility that he will eventually forgive me and become

 

friends or start over? Should I call him and say sorry again? What should I

 

do or tell him so that he will realize that I am really sorry? Help! What

 

should I do?

[Jesaco]

I am 17 years old and I was dating a 19 year old guy for about 11 months. We were not exclusive but our relationship was getting serious until he recently found out from his bestfriend that I had sex with his cousin. He knows that I really care about him and I would do anything for him. Being the fact that we were not exclusive and he was also having sex with other people, is there a possibility that he will eventually forgive me and become friends or start over? Should I call him and say sorry again? What should I do or tell him so that he will realize that I am really sorry? Help! What should I do?

Hi!

 

Don't worry about what he thinks. He likes the fact that this whole thing is upsettting you. It's his way of controlling you. You did nothing wrong, but you're letting this guy make you think that you did. And who cares if he never forgives you. You will meet many more men that actually care about your feelings, and won't put guilt trips on you. And what are you sorry about. That you were able to have a good time with someone else? That only makes you human.

 

Good luck,

 

Jesaco

[Thomas]

You have done absolutely nothing wrong and don't owe him a single apology. If anything, he owes you one for judging you and invading your personal privacy.

 

I do not think you used good judgement in sleeping with his cousin if you thought at the time there would be something serious with this guy. But you did and just forget it. What he is probably feeing is the usual uneasiness about you having sex with someone he knows. Most men would write off a gal who had slept with a friend or relative of his.

 

If he is very close to this cousin, you can pretty well forget things for a while. It's not over but it would be terribly awkward for him to be with you around his cousin.

 

You may have a guy here with a double standard. You say he was having sex with other people during this time...but he is pulling back because you were, even if it was with his cousin. Did you know the relationship?

[Wiser Woman]

The key to your whole problem is your own statement: "we were not exclusive". Whether you knew the relationship between him and his cousin is really insignificant unless you slept with the cousin to make the other guy jealous or something. You owe him nothing in the way of an apology and you shouldn't feel sorry for what you've done simply because HE thinks YOU did something "wrong" when he's doing the same exact thing - double standards stink! What concerns me more is that since the two of you are having sex with other people - you didn't say how many for either of you and it really doesn't matter - you need to be SAFE and smart about it!