Interesting twist

[awkward]

Now that is very interesting. So, these MM who complain that they never have sex with their wives are having sex with their wives after they break up?

 

I don't think that is always a true statement. In fact, I think it is probably rarely true. I'm not sure what else they can say. Can you imagine MM saying, "My wife and I do have sex regularly, but I don't like it"?

 

I think that many OW have accepted the fact that the MM may be lying and knows he is probably having sex with the BS. It's natural for a husband and wife to have sex even if the marriage is lousy. BS has needs too. I highly doubt MM/MW or even the OW/OM would want the BS to seek out an OP (other partner? I'm not sure I have all the lingo down.) to meet his or her needs. Can you imagine the risk of STD's if they both were sleeping with someone else and each other?

 

Really if I was an OW and knew MM was lying to his BS about certain things, I think it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to believe he may tell me little white lies too. If he is protecting her, why wouldn't he want to protect me type of thing? However, if I was a BS and knew my husband had an OW, there is no chance in heck that he would still be sleeping with me.

 

I do believe there are some sexless marriages out there. Maybe more common is very little sex in the marriage, especially if one of them is having sex with someone else.

 

One thing I have learned here, even though all the affairs sound the same and all the MM seem like they are the same men, there are some unique circumstances. I believe that some MM are telling the OW the truth about this type of situation. Some but not all and that's why I don't think the OW/OM believe it.

 

Does your friend plan to continue to sleep with her ex once the divorce is final? How does she feel about being the OW?

 

In a way I do feel bad for the OW because she was fed a lot of bullcrud by the MM too. Obviously, she doesn't know that he is still sleeping with his BS and to top it off, complaining about his relationship with her to his BS. She thinks she got her man and that he chose her. This guy is gold.

[awkward]

On another note, I am sure that many of you feel I have no business posting here. You're probably right. I have no background, no experience. Everything is ... I think, I imagine, I guess, etc.

 

But maybe it might help once in awhile to see someone else's perspective that is not lashing out due to the pain of being a BS or OW? If you get tired of my "I thinks" I don't have any problem being put on ignore or even being corrected on my assumptions.

 

While I tend to think more like how a BS would feel, I think that is because I am married. My marriage is very important to me. My family is my happiness. Sometimes I think wow if my husband did things like this MM did, I would be destroyed. I think that is why my position on affairs is more like a BS's position is. But since I am not a BS, I don't come from a place of pain and betrayal and don't have lashing out type feelings. At first, I didn't understand the OW at all. The more I am here, the more compassion I feel.

 

Any advice or thoughts I throw out here are not any different than what I would say to a friend if she was an OW in the situation. When I read the pain and can feel the hurt because the OW expressed her pain so well, it tugs at my heartstrings. We are all human and have made errors in judgments. More importantly, I have learned many things from this site.

[NoIDidn't]

On another note, I am sure that many of you feel I have no business posting here. You're probably right. I have no background, no experience. Everything is ... I think, I imagine, I guess, etc.

 

But maybe it might help once in awhile to see someone else's perspective that is not lashing out due to the pain of being a BS or OW? If you get tired of my "I thinks" I don't have any problem being put on ignore or even being corrected on my assumptions.

 

While I tend to think more like how a BS would feel, I think that is because I am married. My marriage is very important to me. My family is my happiness. Sometimes I think wow if my husband did things like this MM did, I would be destroyed. I think that is why my position on affairs is more like a BS's position is. But since I am not a BS, I don't come from a place of pain and betrayal and don't have lashing out type feelings. At first, I didn't understand the OW at all. The more I am here, the more compassion I feel.

 

Any advice or thoughts I throw out here are not any different than what I would say to a friend if she was an OW in the situation. When I read the pain and can feel the hurt because the OW expressed her pain so well, it tugs at my heartstrings. We are all human and have made errors in judgments. More importantly, I have learned many things from this site.

 

Awkward

 

You are more than welcome to post anywhere on LS that YOU feel comfortable.

 

Its not surprising that while not a betrayed W you still understand the feelings because you are a W.

 

Its not hard to feel compassion for most OPs (OWs included, lol). Some get in WAAAYYYYY over their heads. Its not hard to feel compassion for most MPs (including MM as many of us wives are married to men that could and have been MM, lol).

 

On topic: I think its kinda gross to sleep with someone that you are divorcing. But I guess unless I'm in that situation who knows what I would do.